During the Letterman shitstorm Sarah Palin blasted “Hollywood/New York entertainers” for not having the same values as “the rest of America.” But if Sarah and Todd Palin’s values where a little closer to the “Hollywood values” modeled by Zac Efron’s mom…

“My mom is like, ‘Zac, what did you buy in a sex shop?’ I was like ‘Mom, calm down, it’s not a sex shop.’ She wouldn’t have any of it. She’s like, ‘I knew you were being sexual!’” he admitted. “But she understood. My stocking was full of condoms this Christmas. She buys me the economy box.”

…David Letterman, like, wouldn’t be out there cracking jokes about their daughter, Bristol “America’s Top Abstinence Spokesmodel” Palin. And speaking of going Hollywood:

Levi Johnston is now officially an aspiring actor and model. And according to his new manager Tank Jones, he is getting closer to a clinching a deal that will help him support the baby son he fathered with his former girlfriend, Bristol Palin. “There’s offers on the table for a little bit of everything—sitcom appearances, a reality show, some modeling,” Jones tells PEOPLE. “We haven’t signed anything, but there’s offers.” Jones declined to give specific details.

If Levi winds up in Hollywood Zac Efron’s mom should pull together a welcome-to-Hollywood gift basket for him. Because if anyone needs the influence of a responsible adult in his life, it’s Todd and Sarah Palin’s ex-future-son-in-law.

39 replies on “Hollywood Values”

  4. For some reason, I read the last sentence as “If Levi winds up in Zac Efron’s mom, she should pull together a welcome-to-Hollywood gift basket for him.”

  5. Frankly Dan – you are very obsessive – the Palin game is of no interest to most – but – for you it is so important.

    Get some perspective. Who really cares but you?

    By the way the cute young Daddy – yes Levi – is going into a career in guess what – male model … how did you miss that while obsessing about mommie and daughter. Also, you are very sexist … I wonder how you justify all the advice about pregnancy as a male? I wonder if Sarah has a lot of advice for you about your scrotum?

    Most people talk sex in one direction – and then – fuck just like the rest of us – old news – even from your family. Bet Mother Savage never gave you condoms from Santa, and bet – Daddy Savage didn’t either.

    Clay feet can be a problem. Levi will make tons just doing Calvin Klein …Whew he is pretty and so smooth – like a prime young working guy who looks great without all the false gym worked up plastic muscles … sexy guy …. might start a whole new/old look … the Alaskan Look

    And Daddy of his own kid, and trying to be a good Daddy ..

  9. @5: Food for thought, I suppose. I mean, you’re right: outside of Slog, when’s the last time you saw Sarah Palin’s name mentioned anywhere? Christ, I need help.

  11. oh SNAP. Levi could make bank as a model. And then he would cream Bristol in the providing-for-baby department.
    Bristol can’t do shit – just preach hypocrisy.

  12. #9

    Well Dan, she is the hero of the right wing – and there – in that fetid stew they obsess about her.

    Here in the other world – well – we do not.

    Might work to find a few new leaders/heros for us in the “other world”.

    Frankly, you are on her message, which simply put is, ALL THE ATTENTION I CAN GET.

    On the other hand, as a gay guy I will take all I can get from sweet baby daddy – Levi – who seems very natural and cool, and not at all a Palin clone.

    Imagine the bare chested pix with a few low belt curls peeking above – fast breath boner swoon material …

    And by the way, he fucks a pretty girl, she got pregnant, ho hum, and now, he is taking the role of daddy seriously it seems … all to his credit. Even escaped crazy Mother Palin’s grasp … I wonder if he is photogenic as in movies??

  13. Palin dragging out the old canard about “Hollywood values” makes her look even more stupid…if that’s possible. She should be talking to Senator Ensign and the other old whores in the Republican party and give the rest of us a break from the lame shit the right goes on about.

  14. Palin dragging out the old canard about “Hollywood values” makes her look even more stupid…if that’s possible. She should be talking to Senator Ensign and the other old whores in the Republican party and give the rest of us a break from the lame shit the right goes on about.

  15. You are batshit crazy, Dan. You try to connect dots when absolutely none exist. Get a fucking life, seriously.

  16. posting newsworthy items on your news blog does not make you “obsessed” @5 & @8.

    Secondly, Zac Effron in Jewish. What’s with that BS about a xmas stocking full of anything? BS!

  17. The less attention and credence we give this “Bill-O’Reilly-in-a-dress person,” the better off the Republic will be. Levi really missed a bullet on this one, and even though others will cash in on him, at least he won’t be under the stiletto-heel of Palin’s Sarintology.

  18. #16

    Sara Palin is a not to bright right wing blowhard – that is news?

    Sorry, not.. ANYTHING Michelle Obama does, says, travels to, is seen about, THAT is news.

    What a contrast.

  19. I spent two summers working in an Alaskan small town. It is a half mile big, no roads, just board-walk and a harbor. No cops, no bank, no doctor, one post office and right now just a part time store.

    This tiny town in its hay day had 2 whore houses, you could sit at the bar and get a blow job. All sorts of drugs flowed everywhere. People would tell me things like “well, at least I only did coke once while pregnant”

    Even this day if you don’t pay your tab, it might ‘magically’ grow over night in one of the bars. (there are 2 bars)

    This town is kind of a common occurrence in Alaska. These are small town values.

  22. Dan, you – like most liberals – are terrified of Sarah because she is a strong, articulate and effective conservative woman.

    That’s why you keep making viscious comments about her and her family.

    Barack Hussein Obama’s approval numbers are cratering. The fast track to socialism he has the country on will wake up normal freedom loving Americans, who will vote in a conservative majority into Congress in ’10.

    America is a christian conservative country, and one day liberalism will die because of it.

  24. Obama’s approval ratings have fallen all the way to… 58%. The GOP’s approval ratings right now: 21%. Good luck peddling that bullshit, Lord Haw Haw.

    And a moment perusing Sarah Palin’s Greatest Hits on YouTube pretty much busts that “articulate” argument. If she’s the best you guys got, you’re in beeeeg trouble.

  26. Look…we’ve all been trying to “get along” and put a nice spin on it, but you know what — the reality is, Straight and Gay cannot co-exist.

    Gay is an expansionist ideology. Although it’s been trying to sell itself as “just another sexuality” and “should be given the same rights”, no self-respecting Gay Man would ever imagine that that was the truth.

    Gay needs to take over to succeed. Gay is forever wanting to bring in new members to the fold and make everything Gay. This is not an insult — just an observation.

    Take me. If I so much as look at a chick at WalMart, sure enough, some C-blocking bi-guy jumps in the way. See, Gay cannot leave Straight alone. Gay always wants a piece of the action. Gay is programmed to succeed.

    So, if Straight — which, up until now is somewhat slower and stupider than Gay — suddenly raises its voice when it wakes up looks around and says “Hey, everything here is Gay”.

    Don’t be surprised…

  28. While I half-heartedly respect Levi Johnston’s attempts to convert unprotected sex into a career, I really would prefer that he – and the mother of his child, and HER mother – would all just go away.

    @22: Palin is an idiot whose gender I am embarrassed to share. She is neither intelligent nor articulate, and she does NOT represent me. Maybe Dan is scared of her ’cause of the vagina and all, but I can assure you that I am not. Oh, and liberalism can’t die. Liberal and conservative are two sides of the political spectrum. One can’t really exist without the other, and neither will either have a 100% following.

  29. Dan, the GOP and the hard traditionalist conservative movement are two different things. The GOP is in the toilet because it sold out conservatism in 2006 and 2008.

    Conservatism is timeless and it always always wins, and the more Barack Hussein Obama advances his Marxist agenda and hides is secret plans to convert America’s children to homosexuality, the more disaffected conservatives and independents who stayed home because of John McCain will rise up (either at the ballot box or with arms) and sweep the treasonous traitors away.

    Mark my wordsN Dan. The hard traditionalists are coming, and we will make America great again.

  31. I’d say “If anyone needs a stocking full of condoms, it’s” Levi heat-of-the-moment Johnston. As well as the influence of a really responsible adult.

  33. Did Dan Savage just attack someone for not being articulate? What a fucking lunatic! This is the same “editor” who has used ‘to’ instead of ‘too’, ‘who’ instead of ‘whom’, and ‘affect instead of ‘effect’. Sarah Palin is leaps and bounds smarter than you, Dan.

  34. Is he going to be a Wal-Mart catalog model? He’s really not attractive or distinctive enough to be any other kind of model.

  35. He is blandly handsome like a TV actor, but doesn’t show any signs of acting talent or natural charisma. He’s also dumb as a rock and too unsophisticated to survive show biz. He’ll get chewed up and spit out within a matter of months, he’ll end up in rehab after his inevitable drug addiction ages his face by 10 years and he’s not pretty anymore. People might start making stale jokes about him again in 2012 when Sarah Palin crashes-and-burns in the presidential race, but by 2013 he will be a forgotten punchline. Maybe by then his notoriety will have died down enough that he’ll be able to find a job on an Alaskan survey crew or as a hunting guide or something.

  36. 27: not only are there more trolls, but each one seems even more incoherent and creepy. Mike on 19th sounds like he’s about a step away from mailing Levi Johnston a lock of his hair with nothing but a note saying “Daddy of his own kid, and trying to be a good Daddy”

  37. @36 It seems like a lot of people just google “Sarah Palin” when they’re bored and then start fights on board where she’s mentioned. At least it provides us with more entertainment!

    My favorites are the Big Gay Conspiracy posts. At no one can claim that we’re a country without imagination!

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