…while he’s thrusting his erection inside you!
Finally!!!
Lindy West was born an unremarkable female baby in Seattle, Washington. The former Stranger writer covered movies, movie stars, exclamation points, lady stuff, large frightening fish, and much, much more.... More by Lindy West
Tell him you’ve never done it with a guy before.
Tell him his Mom told you to call her right after he was done with his “dirty business.”
This was great… but depressing. People suck!
What is depressing about a funny video from the Onion?
where on *earth* does this stuff *come* from???
Learn to play “Row, row, row Your Boat” with pussy farts. That will get his attention and he may even sing along!
If you aren’t hip to The Onion, it’s time you were.
Fun fact: The Onion was co-founded by Tim Keck, who also happens to be the publisher of the Stranger.
Stick your finger in his rectum! He will either like it or have a full blown homophobic attack! Either way, he will know you are their!
“there”
“Ask him to open a jar, then talk about how strong he is”
Really Lindy? If you’ve got him that far you shouldn’t risk making him notice you. Might ruin the moment… For him.
Ouch!
The female half of the Today Now team looks and sounds an awful lot like America’s Best Christian, Betty Bowers.
That was completely wonderful. I fear Ms. Rachel’s book “I’m Right Under You! How to Hook that Cute Guy In Your Vagina” may give IGBP a run for its money on the bestseller lists.
Press a smooth, round pebble into his ass while he’s fucking you in the great outdoors.
turn into a really good microbrew after he’s blown his load on your sister.
Start talking about parenthood.
Or even better: bring up an innocent childhood memory of his.
True story: my ex-boyfriend’s friend was bummed when his girlfriend said, no, she didn’t think it would be okay if he put a porn magazine on her back to look at while he fucked her doggy-style.
Irena @19, I despair for humanity.
Please read the crawl under the video. “Poll: 1 in 3 Americans believe Obama has personally scattered garbage on their lawns”
Oh honey. If he hasn’t noticed me already, there’s no way in hell he’s going to be thrusting his erection in me any time soon.