Look, I like the 2016 election debates. They’re fun and stupid and change virtually nothing about the race, but you couldn’t ask for a more perfect opportunity to make fun of the jerks who want to run the country.
That having been said, we sure do have enough of them. Hillary and Bernie are currently haggling over whether they should add one or three more to their schedule. And even though it would be a delight to have more opportunities to make fun of Bernie’s hair and Hillary’s evasion, I gotta say: ENOUGH, you guys. Why can’t you be more like Trump?
Despite being one of the greatest monsters in living memory, Trump at least knows how to keep things interesting. Rather than submitting himself to another debate tonight, he’s planning to throw an event of his own to benefit veterans. (At least, that’s what he says.) It’s a brilliant move, and I wish more politicians would do the same for two reasons: first, it tells us way more about a politician than just watching them stand at a podium regurgitating rehearsed talking points; and two, it could turn into a total shitshow.
Trump rallies have been getting more and more volatile — someone threw a tomato at him yesterday — and my hope is that the insanity just gets deeper and deeper. I can’t wait to see what kind of crazy shindig Trump throws, and now just imagine if Fiorina and Christie and Cruz had to start throwing massive competing parties in an arms race of excess. It would be an utter circus. And if the Democrats got involved, oh God, there’s no limit to how stupid this could get. I love seeing politicians out of their element, and Trump is yanking them waaaaay out of their element.
Crazily, the politicians are doing their best to yank back. Fiorina offered $2 million if Donald would debate her. Donald’s created a dizzyingly bizarre situation, wherein candidates are offering to pay money out of their own campaigns for the privilege of talking to this man.
This is all great fun, of course, but veterans aren’t entirely thrilled about it. Paul Rieckhoff, founder of Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, tweeted that they would not accept donations from Trump: “We need strong policies from candidates, not to be used for political stunts.”
If offered, @IAVA will decline donations from Trump’s event. We need strong policies from candidates, not to be used for political stunts.
— Paul (PJ) Rieckhoff (@PaulRieckhoff) January 27, 2016
Gee whiz, why would veterans possibly have anything negative to say about Donald Trump? Maybe because he spent a decade trying to get veteran street vendors evicted from outside of Trump Tower.
“Do we allow Fifth Ave., one of the world’s finest and most luxurious shopping districts, to be turned into an outdoor flea market, clogging and seriously downgrading the area?” Trump wrote at the time.
So who exactly is Trump raising money for? Nobody seems quite sure. The Wounded Warriors project said it wasn’t aware of Trump doing any fundraising for them. Of course, they may just be skittish about publicity. New reports and leaks from former employees show that the charity spends about 40 percent of its overhead on its own employees — compared to just 8 percent for other similar charities. So in a way, I guess they’re a perfect match for Trump.
I’ll be live-slogging the debate tonight, which will be broadcast free on Fox News’ website. Donald’s competing event happens at the same time, and will appear on CBS News’ website. Can’t wait to see whose ratings are better.
