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The culture has beaten me. My son will not listen to me. It seems he wants to learn how to drive a car. How many times have I told him that a true gentleman maintains a strict wall of ignorance between himself and that machine. A true gentleman uses public transportation. A true gentlemen walks to the store or park. Driving is so… middle class.
Charles Mudede—who writes about film, books, music, and his life in Rhodesia, Zimbabwe, the USA, and the UK for The Stranger—was born near a steel plant in Kwe Kwe, Zimbabwe. He has no memory... More by Charles Mudede
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Public Transit doesn’t get you pussy (or cock) as the case maybe.
Give your son some bus money or lend him your Orca card to get him to Nathan Hale High School Dec. 7 at 7 pm so he can learn about Wikispeed’s 100mpg car.
It’s a highly fuel-efficient car, from a company headquartered in Seattle, designed by volunteers. Urban eco-chic Seattleites who like cars drool over this kind of stuff.
Having a car is not a class thing, dude. The appropriate tool for the appropriate purpose.
If you wanted to take your kids to see Mount Rainier up close at Paradise, how do you bus it? When I have a 5 year old son, how would I take him to Helens or the Pacific coast without a car?
Yes, but does a true gentleman spend half his time trying to convince everyone how smart and refined he is?
You wrote this to piss people off, didn’t you?
Five thoughtful posts was too much for Charles, so he had to throw this in there to mix it up a bit.
A true gentleman is educated and capable of handling any situation (even when the situation requires driving a vehicle).
He then gets to decide to be the better gentleman by chosing to use public transportation, instead of a bum who must use public transportation because he is incapable.
knowledge is power
But Charles, ‘gentle’ is a manner, not a socioeconomic status. You’re only elite if you don’t have to work. If you’re raising kids, working for an underground newspaper to pay for raising those kids, buying a home? I’m not sure about that one. Even if you rent, you sound pretty middle class to me. Welcome to the club. I say go for a Toyota, Nissan, or a Honda, find one that’s a couple years old so it’s lost 1/2 its new value, and keep it running as long as possible.
I was so happy when my daughter said to me the other day “Poppy, let’s not take the car. Cars are boring and they smell.” It was verification that I was, in some small way, a successful parent.
@11 Or that you need to clean and air out your car…
If public transit could send you back thirty years, it would definitely be more popular. Although generating the 1.21 gigawatts might be a problem.
How about just getting transit to go 88 miles an hour?
Children develope their own way of thinking, independent of oppressive, manipulative adults.
Lenin rode in a limousine. Just saying.
@2, god, that thing is hideous. Why do they have to look like race cars? What the world (and Mr. Mudede the Younger) need is energy-efficient city cars, not speedsters.
16: They have to look like race cars because race cars are the most aerodynamically efficient.
And I’m thinking it’s more “Tim Burton Batmobile”.
Charles, consider instead a scooter or motorcycle. They are always in fashion, and much more practical around town. More importantly, as one of the only kids at school allowed to ride one, he will receive an automatic boost to his status among his peers.
The Motorcycle Safety Foundation has a Beginner Rider Course that lasts a weekend and will teach him everything he needs to know. In addition, if he passes the course he does not need to take the DMV riding test. You may also wish to get him a copy of “Proficient Motorcycling”, which is by a local author and is globally considered one of the top books available on how to ride safely.
Feel free to send me a message if you have any questions regarding this option for your son.
How nice to have a child wanting to be on familiar terms with all the technological tools surrounding him. Not driving is one thing; not knowing how is another.
“Driving is so…” Why don’t you just say “bourgeois”.
Charles used to annoy me. I thought everyone who worked at The Stranger was there for a serious purpose. I have now accepted that he’s on The Stranger’s staff only for comic relief.
A true gentleman leaves no puzzle unsolved.
I like the scooter idea, and also maybe a flex car/zip car membership.
I think the Dowager Countess from Downton Abbey is based on Charles.
My son will not listen to me.
As it should be.
Charles Mudede isn’t a real person. The Stranger should just go ahead and admit they’re messing with us.
Son, get into this car and drive far far away. Never look back.
Driving is an All American teenage experience. You are denying him a rite of passage. When you discover him in ten years holed up in a hotel room with an eight ball, a 9mm and a hooker you will know why.
Driving to a teenager means freedom.
Then explain THIS: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cg…
@29: It didn’t in my case.
@23: If he’s a teenager, I’d lean toward a motorcycle instead. Unfortunately in America scooters are still seen as “not cool”, whereas a motorcycle will definitely get him some attention. It will also be far cheaper to fuel than a car, and easier to find parking.
Charles,
I’m not so sure not possessing an automobile renders necessarily a man a gentleman. But, I like the idea that you use public transit and instruct your son in the same practical value. I believe using public transit is safer, better for the environment and cheaper than owning a car.
FTR, I’m a middle-aged adult American male and haved never owned an automobile. I do possess a Washington state Drivers’ License and can drive cars with either manual and automatic transmissions. Also, I am a bachelor with no children. I could easily possess a car for the sake of my wife and children should that come to pass. I am not against driving or owning a car. Just less of both.
But, I wouldn’t be too hard your son’s wish. It isn’t unusal at all for teen-aged males in America to want their own set of wheels or at least drive. In their eyes an automobile depending on the kind is a “babe magnet” or accoutrement if you will. He’ll grow mentally. He’ll discover that it isn’t necessary to own one. In places like London, Paris, NYC, Chicago & Toronto it is actually hip NOT to own a car.
@32 Actually, motorcycles are worse for the environment than cars, so conclude the MythBusters.
No sane parent would allow his kid to ride a scooter or a motorcycle. Let him save the risky experimentation for his twenties, after his brain has developed. Cars are dangerous enough.
“driving means freedom” – these words are thorns in my ears.
@33, by “places like London, Paris, NYC, Chicago & Toronto” you mean places that are nothing like Seattle. And, you know, most people in Paris own cars. Most people in Chicago and Toronto own cars. London and New York are stuffed to the gills with cars.
I know what you’re saying. But I didn’t get my license until after I turned forty, so I have some experience with both ways. The freedom of the car is in fact mind-boggling.
Give him Defensive Driver Lessons for Festivus at a recognized school, and let him help drive on highway vacation trips but avoid bridges and traffic events.
@37 lol, I got my first civilian driver’s license at 26, but I could drive 2.5 ton trucks as 22 and farm cars and trucks at 8.
A true gentleman also understands the proper use of punctuation.
Where the hell is a teenager supposed to go to get laid if he/she doesn’t have a car?
Whether or not you chose to own a car, obtaining a driver’s license is important. Why release this child into the world at a disadvantage because of your personal feelings regarding cars?
Chances are, while in his youth, he may up behind the wheel without your knowledge. He might as well learn to drive properly, and legally. Opportunities to learn to drive are few and far between in adulthood.
With Charles as his father, he probably listens to “Fast Car” by Traci Chapman on loop every day and prays.
He needs to get a car fast enough to get away. Poor kid.
@39, my god, you really are an awesome person after all.
@32: Mythbusters did not include the fact that motorcycles are generally much simpler to produce and use less materials than a car, making their total environmental footprint much smaller. Not that we were discussing the environmental impacts of any of this before you brought it up…
@35: Sane parents would keep their children at home locked in a cage. The world is a dangerous place, and letting a teenager drive ANY vehicle is very risky. At least with a motorcycle Charles’ son gets a cheap, practical vehicle that will also attract the positive attention of his preferred sex.
@45 No. Crazy parents keep their kids in cages. Sane parents make wise decisions for their children’s future: teaching him to drive but not buying him a vehicle, for instance.
Also, yep, I brought up the envoronmental impacts. So good of you to notice.
@46: So you would agree that enrolling the teenager in both a beginner’s driving course and beginner’s riding course would be wise? That way he’s ready to drive or ride virtually anything he might encounter. Then the kid can save up for whatever type of vehicle he decides he wants, or save his money and just ride public transit.
The environmental impact of the scooter/motorcycle hasn’t been examined in enough detail for me to be comfortable reaching any overarching conclusion about the merits of either. I do believe that as Seattle’s traffic density gets worse over the next few decades, two-wheeled vehicles of all kinds will be a key part of adding density without increasing congestion.
@45,
Not even taking safety into account, motorcycles are not practical vehicles.
@47 – totally agree. I wonder at Charles’ relunctance to educate his child(ren); to prepare him for the future.
Also agree on the scooter vs motorcycle vs small car environmental impacts. I would like to see comparisons (making mental note to look later) on the environmental impacts of production, mileage, gas usage, pollution per gallon, pollution per mile, and the length of life of the vehicle.
And as to the traffic in Seattle: I would hate to ride in the rain but if other’s are willing, that’s cool. I’ll take the rail.
@47 You want pollution per mile, not pollution per gallon. If a motorcycle produces twice as much pollution as a hummer per gallon it will still pollute at less than half the rate per mile. Just sayin’.
@47 NM, missed that bit. You got it!
But if you had succeeded, it still would have been miserably, no? I am confused as to the point.
Chuck, you failed at parenting when you spread your tainted seed.
My sympathies.
@3- Rent a car. Well, you still need to know how to drive, but HAVING a car is a lot less necessary than most people think.
OP: Awesome title. Please reuse always for all future writings.
THE culture (has beaten you)? Like, all of it? The very existance of culture is assaulting you? WEIRD. Perhaps you’d prefer a life with no culture at all? Of course without culture, we would’nt have have this fine online forum on which to kvetch…
No man maintains a strict anything, not really. and no true gentleman would maintain a ‘wall of ignorance’ about anything, for damn sure.
@20: or just say: “Driving is so… pedestrian” hehe
lacking in vitality, imagination, distinction, etc.; commonplace; prosaic or dull:.
@26: sorry dude: he’s real- and he votes. check it: His bday is in Feb of 69 according to the voting records, and lives in P2.
@34 ACTUALLY they found , based on their criteria, that they were “just as bad”. http://www.ecorazzi.com/2011/09/29/mythb…
wild generalization anyway -depends on the bike too. motorcycles are not better in regards to air & noise pollution emitted from engine? yeah sure. Are emission controls crap for bikes? Of course. But better in regards to MPG and therefore less supporting the oil industry & their 1% political views?/ rape of the planet’s oldest graves? / death of 100’s of 1000’s of people in wars for oil?
Hmmm.
Heavy duty deisel trucks and restaurant cooking systems are actually the worse thing for the environment (i.e. in regards to air quality) than cars and motorcycles these days. Weird huh?