I Just Won the Lottery!

1. I get about 15 of these, in various forms, every day.

2. Would be nice tho if it were true.

3. I wonder how one gets to be a “Zonal Co-coordinator”. I bet it pays well. And all the chicks dig them. Of course, with a name like Oscar O. Oscar, he was born lucky!

4. I’m so sad to see that Nelson Mandela is involved in this type of scam.

5. Seems legit. I mean, it’s Nelson Mandela.

6. Who promoted Oscar Oscar?

7. Yeah, yeah. Every single person on the fucking internet gets these. They’re not blog-worthy.

8. Yeah, yeah. Every single person on the fucking internet gets these. They’re not blog-worthy.

9. I can haz delete feetcher?

10. I have named him Caleb in accordance with your wishes.

11. GO FOR A WALK, IT IS BEAUTIFUL OUT THERE. Posting this and making me read this while I am “working” is like burning dollar bills in front of a bum……

12. Any guesses what the “O.” in Oscar O. Oscar stands for?

    I bet it’s Oscar.

13. I have a set of folders with close to a million of these, if you’d like to see them.

14. Oscar was a very nice man I knew in South Africa. He lived in a Mansion and ate Oscar Meyer Weiners for lunch everyday after we had sex! O Oscar!

15. http://www.419baiter.com is awesome.

16. Dear sir/Madam,

    I am, a native of Cape Town in South Africa and I am an Executive Accountant with the South Africa Department of Mining & Natural Resources.

    First and foremost, I apologized using this medium to reach you for a transaction/business of this magnitude, but this is due to Confidentiality and prompt access reposed on this medium. Be informed that a member of the South Africa Export Promotion Council (SEPC) who was at the Government delegation to your country gave your particulars to me, I have decided to seek a Confidential co-operation with you in the execution of the deal described Hereunder for the benefit of all parties and hope you will keep it as a top secret because of the nature of this transaction.

    Within the Department of Mining & Natural Resources where I work as anExecutive Accountant and with the cooperation of four other top officials, we have in our possession as overdue payment bills totaling Forty two Million, Five Hundred Thousand US. Dollars ($42,500,000.), which we want to transfer abroad with your assistance and cooperation of a foreign company/individual to receive the said fund on our behalf or a reliable foreign non-company account to receive such funds.

    More so, we are handicapped in the circumstances, as the South Africa Civil Service Code of Conduct does not allow us to operate offshore account hence your importance in the whole transaction.

    This amount $42.5m represents the balance of the total contract value executed on behalf of my Department by a foreign contracting firm, which we the officials over-invoiced deliberately. Though the actual contract cost have been paid to the original contractor, leaving the balance in the tune of the said amount, which we have in principles gotten approval to process and transfer to any foreign bank account you will provide by filing in an application through the Ministry of Justice here in South Africa for the transfer of rights and privileges to you and from Federal Reserve Bank. I have the authority of my partners involved to propose that should you be willing to assist us in this transaction, your share of the sum will be 20% of the $42.5 million, 70% for us and 10% fortaxes and miscellaneous expenses. The business itself is 100% safe, on your part provided you treat it with utmost secrecy and confidentiality.

    Also your area of specialization is not a hindrance to the successful execution of this transaction. I repose my confidence in you and hope that you will not disappoint me.

    Endeavor to contact me immediately through my e-mail: confirm whether or not you are interested in this deal. If you are not, it will enable me scout for another foreign partner to carry out this deal. Remember to treat this matter very Confidential, because we will not comprehend with any form of exposure as we are still in active Government Service. Once again, remember that time is of great essence in this transaction. I wait in anticipation of your fullest co-operation.

    Yours faithfully.

    Bailly Kumalo

    NOTE: This e-mail and any files transmitted with it are confidential.

    If you are not the intended recipient, any reading, printing, storage, disclosure,copying or any other action taken in respect of this e-mail is prohibited and may be unlawful. If you are not the intended recipient, please notify the sender immediately by using the reply function and then permanently delete what you have received.You can also send your response to: bailly86@yahoo.com

    My Response:

    Wow, I’m so excited to know that I, and my firm…the Executioner’s Trust, can be of service to you. Yes, I am interested! Give me the money. Thank you,

    Queen Jane of Lane

    The Fraud’s Response:
    Dear Jane,

    Thank you for your response to my proposal and your willingness to assist us transfer this funds in question into your Bank and account.

    Before we proceed I will want you to send to us your complete details, that is your full names and address, telephone numbers and fax.Upon hearing promptly from you I will give you more details on how the transaction will be perfected.

    Once again I thank you for your interest to do this business with us and look forward to hearing from you. Thank you.

    Bailly Kumalo [Pls. response to contact_baillykumalo@yahoo.com ]

    My Response:
    Dear Bailly,

    I wish to first confer upon you my wish that I be addressed in the respect that is in accordance with my being of royal blood. I am Her Royal Highness Queen Jane of Lane.

    Second, since I am a woman, and I read Cosmopolitan Magazine, I will refer you to last month’s edition where I was told never to give my personal information to anyone on the Internet that do not know well.

    So please tell me more about yourself. Are you married? Do you have children? If so, how are they? Does it bother you to have so many mouths to feed? I guess it may become burdensome at times. You see, I do not have children, though I suppose that one day I will. My problem is that I cannot find a man of noble esteem with whom to share my vast royal wealth. Have you ever had this problem?

    How are things in South Africa? Is it nice down there at this time of the year? I am suffering greatly from allergies this season. The grass pollen count gets very high at this time of the year…around 500 particles per centimeter!

    Thirdly, why did you change your e-mail address? Is Juno not serving you well? I tend to get a lot of spam mail on Yahoo! and I thought Juno was better.

    Anyway, get back to me with answers to my inquiry and if I feel that I know you well enough to send more information to you, I will do so.

    Have a nice Day, Queen Jane of Lane, Duchess of Springfield

    The Fraud’s Response:
    Dear Her Royal Highness Queen Jane of Lane.

    I a m please pleased to read from you and to also to know that you are a Royal queen from a Royal class. This without any doubt from our minds will therefore gives us that confidence of trust of executing this business under discussion with your humble self without reservation whatsoever.

    I have not read the edition of the referred Cosmopolitan magazine of the danger of disclosing an identity to an unknown person. I want to sincerely reiterate here that, I may think that it is because of a lot of fraudulent activities in the World now, that makes it a bit difficult for one to be skeptical of exposing an identity and also you from a Royal home you have to be very careful on whosoever you do anything with. I want to assure you therefore that my proposal to you over the transfer of the funds into your account for future investment and programs for the alleviation of humanity statues which is our mission is well founded and it is 100% risk free as we have taken into cognizance of every areas for the smooth conclusion of this transaction and given your full cooperation and assistant we will all be happy at the end of the day which I belief with your position this will not be a problem.

    In other to start up this transaction as we will need to do some paper works to making sure that the funds is transferred from the apex Bank here to your Bank account, then your details becomes very vital to us and again your details will not be expose to any third party as this transaction is to kept confidentially now until the end of this transaction.

    About my self, I am married with four kids, 3 girls and a boy well experience and I a well looking able gentleman of 43years old. I have been working with South African Mines now for 17 years where I held a post of an Accountant; we now got an opportunity of over invoicing a contract, which has already been executed, and commission. It is the over invoicing amount that we want to transfer with your humble assistant into your Bank and Account. My phone number is : + 27 83750 7303, Please this personal information should be kept with utmost confidentiality because of the nature of the business.

    South Africa is politically and it is a place to be and of course the place is very rich of Mineral Resources. I am very sorry for any allergies you might have and I pray that you will come over it. I want to come very close to you and also make some good business with you Queen. I love yahoo mail and I will appreciate if you try and send me a mail on this address also:
    consult_bailly86@yahoo.com

    I will wait to hearing from you and I will give you for details of this transaction.

    May God Bless and guide you.

    Yours sincerely.
    Bailly Kumalo.

    My Response:
    Dear Bailly,

    I am sorry to hear that you did not read last month’s edition of Cosmopolitan because it was quite informative. I would prefer it if all of my business partners read the magazine. It has some fantastic updates on the world of business. Maxim magazine is also a magazine that I would highly recommend for its updates on the world around us. This month’s lead story entitled “Best Bars in which to Drink” (with business partners of course) was quite the expose of sorts. I learned a lot about the vast world of microbrews and the distilling of various spirits.

    The Maxim Magazine article really started to make me think about my investment opportunities. It seems to me that an investment in the area of “sin” might be a better option for me. We can all see that the makers of cigarettes, microbrews, fine wines, and pornography really do rake in the dough…if you know what I mean.

    I think such an investment would really upset my stepmother who is treating me rather poorly due to her envy over me inheriting the crown before I was married. She had to vacate the position and is having fits about it. I’d love to tick her off. Investing in “sin” areas may also deter my father’s plans to marry me off to the Sultan of Brunei, who I do not wish to marry because he already has two wives!

    I do have a bit of a belief in your wishes to invest in “the alleviation of humanity statues”. There really are far too many statues of humans in this world. I think I would prefer my share of the investment to go to the removal of such statues…like the ones of Saddam in Baghdad. Whereas these statues will need to be removed, more will surely need to be put up. I would prefer statues of oxen…a very fine animal, which does not get the stature (or statue for that matter) it so very much deserves.

    So now, it seems that I am at an impasse of where my decision should stand in terms of where to invest. So before we set up paperwork, can you send me any paperwork about the transactions and where the money will come from? I do not wish to tarnish the family name by getting myself involved with any sort of illegal operation. The sin industry is not illegal, and therefore I can be involved with that aspect of investment, but nothing of legal shadiness is allowed. I must come to a decision up which area I wish to delegate my expertise.

    Since I am of royal blood, I find it difficult, to deal with the outside world. At times, my only contact comes through this little Yahoo! e-mail address (since my father does not know it exists for my use). My company, the Executioner’s Trust, has been a bit of a help to me since it allows me to leave the chateau once in a while to use e-mail.

    Due to the economic situation in the United States, the Executioner’s Trust fund has almost been depleted. The bad economy brings a high crime rate, and more executions. The costs of such executions are very high.

    So, an investment is necessary.

    Please send me some sort of paperwork on what sort of transactions shall take place, and I will send you more of my personal information.

    Many blessings to your children, and to your entire family.
    Sincerely,
    HRH Queen Jane of Lane,

    The Fraud’s Response:
    Dear HRH Queen Jane,

    I receive your mail and was so interesting and promising. Before we proceed Queen, I really belief that you have trust in this transaction as I do have to your Royal class. Let me assure you that your dealing with me will be a stepping-stone for you to start believing on human being, especially the black race. As earlier mentioned, this transaction is very confidential and it would not be advisable for it to be transferred to a third party and because of your family statues I will make sure that you are not expose in this transaction. I promise, all what we want is a trusted person and of assistant so that we can succeed in this project. While waiting for your details, below are the steps on how the transaction would flow successfully:

    We have a lawyer (Attorney) in place that will immediately start the processes of registration of the Name/Company you will send to us with the Corporate Affairs Commission of South Africa here (CACSA). He has everything in place already to do the necessary documentation (1) Articles of Memorandum (2) Articles of Association (3) Board of Directors, which in this case you will be Chairman and I will list the other directors. We will then pay a reasonable Share Capital to enable us to be competent enough to handle projects of multimillion Dollars. This registration will be back -dated to reflect the time before the actual contract was executed. This also gives legal backing for us by law to do business in South Africa.

    I want to assure you that there are no hidden liabilities as beneficiary to this fund. The only expenses we will make (re- you and us) are in the pursuit of this fund. This kind of business exists a lot in Africa based on the corrupt practices of some top Government officials. Note, it is not everybody or everyday this kind of opportunity comes. For my colleagues and me this particular one is our life opportunity and we want to take full advantage of it to it’s fullest

    STAGE 1: With your consent, we would register and incorporate Name/Company with Corporate Affairs Commission of South Africa. This now gives it authority to do business in South Africa. We would then register it as a contractor under grade A with the South Africa Department of Mining & Natural Resources. The tenders fees and tax clearance requirements would then be paid. Note: All this would have to be back – dated to take note of when the contract was actually executed. STAGE II

    We would then put up a claim for the funds with your nominated Bank details that you have sent to us. After which we then follow our application by processing the relevant paper work/approvals necessary for the funds to move by Telegraphic wire transfer into your nominated Bank account. This is the litmus stage of this transaction and once we pass it, it means 85% of the process has been done.

    STAGE III:

    Signing of the final release documents from which after the funds move. We then would come to your country so that the final disbursement would take place, we also intend with your help to invest part of our share in viable business in your country.

    Note that we have perfected all the strategies to make this deal work out, and with your full cooperation we would succeed as all our life and hope depend on this transaction.

    Regards,
    Mr.Bailly Kumalo

    My Response:
    Dear Bailly,

    I could not read the majority of your letter because you need to hit the “return” button after the ends of your sentences because your browser is not automatically wrapping the text. Therefore, I will need you to resend the information that was near the end of your last message.

    I was able to read the top of your message though, and was surprised that you did not comment upon my oxen statue idea. The ox is featured in my family crest and is of great nobility and stature to my family. Therefore, it is important that my part of the investment and transaction deal with the dedication and building of oxen statues. I think an amber ox standing over a jade ox in a sort of missionary-style position would be most excellent, and representative of the proliferation of my family’s wealth.

    Here is my personal information.

    I am 27. Chest = 38″ Waist= 24″ Hips= 42″ (of good childbearing proportion)

    I am 5’7 and weigh 127 pounds.

    I own only 5 Rolls Royces (my little sister has one more than I do because she is the youngest, and therefore my father’s favorite).

    I have 2 private jets.

    4 swimming pools (again, my sister has five and she is so selfish about sharing them).

    I own two companies= The Executioner’s Trust and I hold 69 percent of the shares of the Ron Jeremy Inc. Ltd. Corporation.

    I own properties in New York, Los Angeles, Portland Or., Miami, The Bahamas, Fiji, and a small neighborhood in Rio.

    I also own a lot of other rental properties, but my company deals with those sorts of transactions (We are currently leasing some of our properties to the “Oregon’s Own Dollar Store Unlimited” and are quite proud of our negations with such a fine enterprise).

    Did you get to read up on the Cosmopolitan or Maxim Magazine articles?

    One of my assistants is gathering more information to send to you (Do not worry, my assistant is extremely subservient and will not share any of the details of our transaction as he is totally under my control. I let him out of confinement only a few times a day, and under close supervision so he cannot share the information with anyone). He likes leather.

    The last message you sent was so difficult for us to read that we need you to resend it in a formatted version.

    Sincerely,
    HRH Queen Jane of Lane,

    The Fraud’s Response:

    Messsage resent with following message at the bottom:

    Dear HRH,QUEEN,

    Above is the repeated message I hope you will promptly response and also cooporate so that can start up this transaction.

    I wait for your response.
    Bailly.

    My Response:
    Dear Bailly,

    First off I need no transaction to be my stepping stone in my belief of the human race, especially the black race.

    Second, I am offended that you made no mention of my ideas of jade and amber ox statues. These animals are sacred to my royal lineage and should be regarded as such.

    Thirdly, I have sent you my personal information, and am waiting on what you think about my information. Is it okay? Do you not think me pretty?

    Anyway, please give my regards to Desmond Tutu, who is a great friend of the family.

    Sincerely, Queen Jane of Lane

    The Fraud’s Response:
    HRH Queen Jane of Lane

    I received your mail and I thank you. You should not be offended of an oversight of mentioning your Ox statue and I belive that as soon as we conclude this transaction, you can use part of your own share of the money for the Statue and I will also want to visit it too. Please dont be offended.

    The information about your self qualified you a prety queen and how I wish we can get on the conclusion of this transaction so that I can be previllage to see you.

    In other to get started in this business we need your details such as your telephone numbers and fax including your address, this will enble us use it judiously for the documentation of the transfer of the funds.

    We sincerely believe that with your staue as a Royal Queen the trust, confidentiality and putting your resources for the success of this transaction is well founded, and this gives us confidence as our hope is assured only on the successful conclusion of this business.

    I wait to hearing from you at your earliest convinience taking into cognizance of my previous mail.[transaction flow] Thank you very much.

    Yours truly,
    Bailly Kumalo

    Note: Memorial Day weekend…I was slow responding.

    The Fraud gets impatient

    Dear Queen Jane of Lane,

    I do hope to hearing from you to enable us proceed.

    Thanks.
    Bailly Kumalo

    My Response:
    Dear Bailly,

    Please excuse my time lapse in responding to your generous offer. I was on vacation in the Alps with Prince Albert. Fergie can be such a nuisance at times…always going on and on about the kids and what not. Rest assured though, we got some alone time during our stay and he will talk to Prince Phillip about getting me away from the Sultan of Brunei through marriage into the Windsor family.

    I was awakened at one point during the night(well, at first it was Albert’s snoring, then we found out Fergie was hiding in the closet), and I wondered how you first came upon my e-mail address. It is quite private, so I should find out from whom you obtained my e-mail address. Is Kofi Annan giving my e-mail address out to people again? I should hit him over the head with a plank if that is the case.

    Anyway, here is some of my personal information:

    I may be FAXed at:

    Note to readers: I supplied Bailly with the FAX number for the Secret Service, which requests that all correspondence from African schemers be FAXED to them. I figured it was better if one of them FAXed the Secret Service Directly.

    Thank you Bailly,
    I look forward to meeting with you soon.
    HRH Queen Jane of Lane,

    The Fraud’s Response:
    HRH Queen Jane of Lane,

    I must thank you for the privileges in allowing me reach you via fax. By this enviable position, God has given us the opportunity to help to the poor and by so doing you will always remain a source of inspiration, hope and joy to people.

    To commence this project in earnest I need your bank details and consent. I sure you that you will not regret your partnership with me. You forgot to send me your phone number and address, please do.

    I wait to hearing from you soonest.

    Thanks.
    Bailly kumalo

    My Response:
    Dearest Bailly,

    I must apologize for not including my address and telephone number. This weekend’s events in the Alps were so tiresome. It turns out Look! Magazine snagged some photos of me sunbathing topless with Luciano Pavarotti! His wife is all upset with me even though it was so innocent. After all, I was hanging out with Prince Albert. It sort of ruins my reputation though. I mean, who wants to be seen around a naked Pavarotti? Surely you must understand.

    Have you read Maxim Magazine yet? This month, there is a great feature on my ex-boyfriend…Tom Cruise. We dated before he hooked up with Penelope Cruz. That is the untold story behind the Nicole/Tom breakup. I could totally kick Penelope’s ass though. Seriously. Okay…

    Oh, here is my address:
    Office of Government Liaison & Public Affairs 950 H Street, N.W. Suite 8400 Washington, DC 20223

    Here is my phone number:

    Much love, HRH Queen Jane of Lane,

    Note to readers…the address and phone numbers are for the Secret Service who investigate the African frauds.

    The Fraud’s Response:
    HRH Queen Jane of Lane,

    Thank you for your mail. For us to progress in other to successfully conclude this transaction I did said that we can only succeed if we have trust and be sincere, there we will succeed in this transaction under discussion.

    On the light of the above, If you are interested to do this business with me you should be ready to let know your identity and also be ready to commit your time and resources aimed at concluding this transaction.

    I made a telephone call today to the phone number you provided and you were not identify there and more so that phone number is a US secret information service. Why?

    Can you send your picture you said you forget to send me, If you want we can arrange to meet there in US only if you are indeed serious in this transaction.

    Let me hear from you.
    With much love too.
    Bailly Kumalo

    My Response:
    Dear Bailly,

    I am sorry you were unable to reach me. I place the blame fully upon the shoulders of John Ashcroft. You see, since 9-11, I have had an extra secret service detail assigned to me. They often screen my calls, and calls from Africa are under extreme scrutiny. The best way to reach me is by e-mail, mail, and/or FAX.

    My mail is x-rayed, screened, and irradiated for extra protection. As for a picture of me…I have looked back and found no record or request of a picture so I did not know that was what you needed to complete the transaction.

    Here is my picture:

    ..

    Also enclosed is a picture of my dog, Princess Muffy Poopers with all of her favorite friends.

    ..

    Please let me know what more you need.

    I will be in and out of the office for the next few days. The execution rate here has skyrocketed to epic proportions, so I actually have to work the guillotine for the next few days.

    Sincerely,
    Queen Jane of Lane

    The Fraud’s Response:
    HRH Queen Jane of Lane,

    Thank you for your mail. Your aclaimed position and strict survellace around you puts the gap between me and you so wide I must say.

    I am constrained to say at this point that I may withdraw my parnership with you. This transaction requires your time, constant communication, your resources and above all maximum cooperation. All these may not be seen 100% from your side as we have to more serious.

    Permit me to say here that you have to device means for us to talk and again we will need your financial assistance to process this transaction.

    Please response as earlier as you can.

    Thanks.
    Bailly Kumalo

    My response:

    Dearest Bailly,
    Please do not withdraw from our honest partnership. I have grown so accustomed to your nice e-mails and stories from the wild world of Africa. I can’t wait to visit the oxen statues with you when we get our money.

    I am still available by FAX and by e-mail, is that not enough? Shall we meet in person instead? I know of a great café in Soho. Ashton Kutcher has also opened up a nice restaurant that I think would be nice to visit. If I could run into that big hunk-o-burning-man, my world would be complete.

    What do you mean by “financial assistance?” What financial assistance shall I offer? I have a nice time-share in the Hamptons that can fit your entire family if you would like to take a holiday. How is the weather in Africa at this time of year? Wouldn’t you like a holiday?

    My assistant has just made a call to Barbara Streisand and she would be willing to let your family stay with her in Los Angeles. She will even take them to Michael Jackson’s Neverland! They can ride the roller coaster and the Ferris Wheel. They can even sleep over with Michael while we do our business in private in another room on the estate. Don’t worry, Michael is a fantastic sitter.

    I do hope that the Secret Service has not impeded our business. I noticed in the last letter that you did not sign it with your love. Please do not be mad at me. To show you my good faith, I have attached some prototypes of the ox statues I plan to build. Please tell me which one you like, and I will have one built, plated with gold, and sent to your family as a gift.

    Love,
    Queen Jane of Lane,

    The Fraud’s Response:
    HRH Queen Jane of Lane,

    Thank you for your attention to my mail., all the content there in were all understood. The attachment of the oxen are wonderful.

    The partnership will not be withdrawn from you only if we serious on what we are doing as a transaction of this magnitude do not need a waste of time at all.

    By financial assistance I mean that you will required to assist financially to making sure that we are able to process the documentation for the release of the funds into your Bank and account.

    For us to start proper, I will require you to send to me your account details and moreso, May I seek your consent for name Company you will want so that we can incoporate it here so that we can be able to process the funds transfer into your Bank and account.

    Please hear from you as you receive this mail.

    With much love,
    Sicerely yours.
    Bailly Kumalo

    I forgot to respond over the weekend. The Fraud’s Response:

    HRH Queen Jane of Lane,

    I have not heard from you. I hope all is alright with you.

    Please advice prior my previous mail.
    Thanks.
    Bailly Kumalo

    My Response:
    Dearest Bailly,

    Thank you for checking up on me. Everything here is great. The only exception is my recent breakup with Prince Andrew. I was thrown into quite a tailspin this weekend when he decided to leave me for an ailing Liza Minelli. I don’t know what he is thinking…she is happily married to a gay man. This puts a bit of a crimp in my plans to get out of marrying the Sultan of Brunei. I really don’t wish to marry someone that had to sell all of his golden toilets to pay for his extravagant and sinister lifestyle. He also has no respect for Oxen. This is quite intolerable!

    Anyway, please tell me how much I am to deposit into your account, and give me your bank account number. I’ll let my assistant out of his cage in order to transfer the funds for me.

    Much Love,
    HRH Queen Jane of Lane,

    The Fraud’s Response:

    Dear HRH Queen Jane of Lane,

    Thank you for your mail. The amount needed for the procurement /processing of document to effect the transfer into your Bank account. I am please as you are ready to assist us financially to ease us facilitate this project.

    The amount expected will be $25,000 but can be paid instalmentally and it would have been advisable for you to pay by western Union Money Transfer, otherwise on hearing from you I can still send to you an account for that purpose.

    Please dont forget to send to us your account throughwish the funds will be transferred into and also a company name which we will also use for the processing of the funds underdiscussion.

    I await to hearing from you to enable us progress and timely too.

    With much love too.
    Bye for now.
    Bailly Kumalo

    My Response:
    Dearest Bailly,

    I am offended that you inferred a need to pay $25,000 in installments. $25,000 is what I call chump change.

    I would rather process the transaction through the banking system and not through Western Union. The Western Union horse riders are often held-up by bandits, pirates, and outlaws over here in the west. There is a great chance that my money could be stolen.

    So please send me your bank account information and I can put the entire amount into your account. In addition to a company name, I think it necessary to install a Board of Directors. I have some ideas about the members I would like to serve on the board. Below are two groups of people that I would like to have as Board of Directors Members. Please tell me which group you like best.

    The first group consists of my favorite musicians: Barry Manilow, Herb Alpert, Julio Iglesias, and Carrot Top.

    The second group consists of some my favorite world government officials: Kim Jong Il, Mohammad Fahim Khan, Pervez Musharraf, and Yosemite Sam.

    While both groups differ vastly in their areas of expertise, I think that each would bring unique aspects and ideas to our company.

    In a previous e-mail, I think you came up with a great name for the company. It should be called the Company Company. It has such a great ring to it. Company Co. would be the world leader in Oxen statues!

    So pick the Board of Directors that you think would suit us best, write up the contracts for Company Co. and FAX them to me. Also, send me your bank account information and I’ll have that $25,000 to you ASAP!

    Love,
    Queen Jane of Lane,

    p.s. Please send me your address so I can get the Ox statue mailed to your family upon completion.

    The Fraud’s Response:
    Dear Queen Jane of Lane,

    Thanks for your response. The requested financial assistant for the procurement/processing of document for the transfer of funds will not be required from you if you are not ready to send the name of company for us to use.

    We can only give you an account for to pay such money to the Charity/orphanage homes here if interested.

    I wait to hearing from you.

    Regards.
    Bailly

    My response:
    Dearest Bailly,

    I told you the name of the company would be Company Company. I am sorry if you don’t like the name. Also, I need your address so I may send you the golden ox statue. It should fit nicely in your yard. How large is your yard?

    You also need to select a Board of Directors for Company Company. I thought the world leaders board might please you the most. Please let me know ASAP. Also, please give me your account number so that I may wire you the money so we can both be millionaires!

    I am extremely busy, but I have put a lot of effort into this transaction so I wish to see a quick closure to this magnificent deal. I know you feel the same. Well, I had better get back to the guillotine because my little sister is horrible at finishing her part of the job. The spoiled little brat.

    Love, Queen Jane of Lane,

    The Fraud’s Response:

    Dear Queen Jane of Lane,

    Thanks for your mail.There is no way the South African Government here will register any Com by name Company Company. We have to be serious if we have not.

    Your full name is also needed so that we can proceed with the documentation and your account numbers also adviced.

    The acount number for the needed assitant will be given to you as soon as the above information is supplied promptly.

    Thanks and much love.

    Bailly

    I forgot to respond…

    The Fraud responds:
    Queen Jane of Lane,
    Let me hear from you.

    Thanks.
    Bailly

    My response:

    Dearest Bailly,

    There has been a terrible coup here. My evil little sister has usurped the throne. She is such a bitch! This includes the ownership of my bank accounts. Also, she took back the Rainbow Sprite dolls that she gave me last Christmas.

    I am typing this at gunpoint. I don’t know when I will be able to contact you again. I will get to a computer terminal when her guards are drunk. I really need your help. I am in grave danger. Please notify the relevant authorities in your country and tell them that I need their help. I am in dire straits, and need an army. If you could somehow notify the authorities and tell them that I am being held hostage…I would reward this effort greatly.

    Please send me your bank account details. Also, I am dating the mailman, and he will deliver the Ox statues to you as soon as I obtain your address.

    With much love, and appreciation, in advance.

    Queen Jane of Lane (exiled)

    I never heard from Dearest Bailly ever again. I do miss my good friend Bailly. Cheers Bailly…wherever you are.

17. @ 16: step it up: VERY entertaining! Wish I had the wit to lead them on like that. Best wishes.

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