Reading Kate Harding’s piece on Salon brought this G&O song to mind…

Cruel. And they never say why they’ll never have sex with you, only that they won’t. Anyway… didja know that G&O is coming to Seattle weekend after next? Two shows, at Re-bar, both sold out?

47 replies on “I Would Never Have Sex With You”

  4. I mean … it’s humor obviously intended for women. But if I had known NOTHING else about these girls, what kind of self hating person would want to subject themselves to such snarky and vague scrutiny?

  9. I have a question … in a lot of threads where Dan is TRYING to play devils advocate and maybe tell straight men how to deal with either not getting laid, or the proper course of action TO get laid. The consensus is obviously … not to hold on to your rage and rant on youtube or take it to the extreme and shoot up a gym aerobics class.

    (hmmm another thought about men in society … I think we are taught that our problems are OUR problems and that we must deal with them, alone, no other help … and that we must be pro-active to confront them … )

    Anyways, anyone who ever posts anything of empathy or compassion for disenfranchised mysogenistic mne is considered mysogenist themmselves.

    Does this clip contain hints of misandry? I just want thoughts and opinions on it, not death threats.

  10. Yep, two clever, cute girls doing creative stuff. Must! Hate!

    How many of us Slog commentators get off our asses, write clever songs and then post ’em to YouTube? Oh, right. We’re too busy tearing down others who are actually leading real lives.

  12. TVDinner … that’s not the point.

    Clever and creative … sure why not, no shit.

    Do you think for a second that men who find/found themselves perpetually in the “friend zone” can not at least take some offense to this?

    Sure they’ve done better stuff, but it’s snarky as shit. Maybe if they gave a little bit of self depreciating edge. I mean there are plenty of comic artists that are chauvenistic, but they also expose their own frailty and imperfection at the same time.

    Or maybe I’m just not seeing any of it … it’s humor meant for women.

  13. There is something incredibly fitting and disturbing about Dan Savage citing a blog post of himself that simply quotes somebody else. It says everything you need to know about the maniac Savage: self-obsessed promotion whore who can’t even come up with a single original thought of his own.

  14. @12: You can take offense to whatever offends you, but I have to admit that – from this side of the gender divide – I’m pretty bewildered and unsympathetic. We could certainly get into a pissing match about who has more right to be offended in the Grand Scheme of Things, Men or Women, but it’d hardly be productive.

    I’ll concede that it probably is humor meant for women who’ve all-too-often been on the receiving end of the male gaze.

  16. It’s not like these are posted in Chronological order or anything; maybe they haven’t jumped the shark, maybe this was an earlier attempt that wasn’t as funny, and therefore not as post-worthy until Dan started scraping the back of the colon for more material.

  17. I don’t think I heard anything in that song to suggest it was unfairly targeted at guys who languish perpetually in the Friend Zone.

    But then, with the awfully tinny sound, I found it difficult to understand half the lyrics, so.

  18. No one’s hating. Even when I see a screenshot of them and get annoyed, I’m still not hating. I realize that funny is subjective. So is witty, for the most part. It’s just that many of us don’t think they’re either.

  19. On the one hand, I don’t understand why (some) people love these two so much. On the other hand, I think it’s hilarious how upset some guys are getting over this.

    These two are pointing out the fact that if a woman hangs out with you, goes to dinner with you, talks with you for hours and hours and still hasn’t fucked you, it’s never going to happen. Jesus Christ, isn’t this obvious? The only person who could believe otherwise is deluding himself or believes that women are incapable of taking the initiative. Like they say in the song, if they wanted to have sex with you, it would’ve happened by now.

    A guy who pretends to be a woman’s friend (i.e. lies to her) to get in her pants really doesn’t deserve much sympathy when she ultimately decides not to fuck him.

  20. I prefer their postive songs, but snark seems to be part of their charm. I get the opinion that they are poking fun at themselves and at us. I’ve certainly been on both sides of coin. I’m an over thinker, so I get how someone who has spent too many times on the “I like you as a friend” side of the coin would find this song annoying or hurtful, particularily men as G&O are women. I wonder if the table was turned would it be as funny or witty?

  21. TVDinner … no sympathy from me … I live on Capital Hill … I get the gaze ALL the god damn time.

    From gay men …

    And I personally think it’s pitiful and demeaning for the both of us.

    As a guy who has a damn good sense of compassion, as a result I’ve found myself in the friend zone rather crowded. Female friends are good for a lot of things … but when you find that you are the one person they come and bitch to when their “unsypathetic” guy friend treats them like ass … well it was nothing personal … it was just time to clean house cut down the number of “friends” I had. It was that I didn’t care, I just couldn’t! Chick drama can become a distraction for the things I needed to enjoy in life. More or less just raise the bar for the female friends or cut off making new ones. I love and continue and maintain.

  22. Kim … when I find myself in a sitution, when I like someone as a friend, and they are totally smitten with me ….

    Mostly I didn’t really like them as a friend … it was pity …

    I just learned to CUT THEM OFF! I swear to god it’s the most merciful thing in the world. Don’t let them live in the delussion that if they were a better friend, you would be willing to get to know them better. Life is too short to wallow.

    But keeping them around for pity? That was the worst thing I could have done, it showed weakness … and they pushed even harder.

    I suppose the worst is when you have mutual friends … ugh!

  23. Oh shit, that’s where I’d seen that girl before — Kate Micucci did a ukelele toast at my friend’s wedding this weekend. She is charming, smart, and friendly in person.

  24. Former Tri-State,

    I agree if an individual is only dating someone out of pity, than it is best to make a clean break quickly.

    It becomes more complicated when you do like the person, but you don’t have romantic feelings, and you wish that you could develop romantic feelings. I hated the few times, I had to tell someone that I didn’t return their affections. I never like causing another pain, but sooner is better than later in those instances.

    Sometimes the mutual friends helps the situation. Especially, if the mutual friends think highly of you, and can confirm that you aren’t a jerk.

  27. Kim … I guess, what’s more important. Your a positive state of mind, or being a jerk. Sometimes I think it’s easier to be a jerk, so they stand a chance of hating you as a means of getting over you.

  28. @19, someone who isn’t going to have sex with you shouldn’t hang out with you, go to dinner with you, or talk with you for hours and hours.

    Guys talk to chicks because they want to bang them.

    Period.

  29. H&O are criticizing women in this video who are thoughtless toward male friends. Hence the “let’s do it again” line. It’s subtle, but it’s clear that they’re portraying the vapid, entitled Pretty Girl who lacks compassion.

    TVDinner, I’ll take the straight male gaze over the straight female gaze any time. Women have to live with both.

    The straight male gaze, while it is sometimes uninvited and often clumsy, off-putting, and/or inappropriate, is nothing more than what it is meant to be: a compliment. Oftentimes an uncomfortable compliment, but a compliment nonetheless. And except for rare occasions, the straight male gaze is harmless.

    The straight female gaze is critical, judgemental, tinged with jealousy and hostility, and often as cruel as I’m assuming the gay male gaze can be that former tri-state alluded to. I’ve never had a straight man laugh cruelly at my choice of shoes, or openly point and mock me at the beach. If a guy doesn’t want to fuck me, he’ll simply ignore me. But at least he won’t rip me to shreds with his friends.

    I know which gaze I’d rather cringe under.

  31. Point: there are some guys just need to be told the truth. I wonder if some who’ve found themselves in the “friend zone” think that the girl shouldn’t say anything and let them remain tortured?

    Some will never know that they have no chance unless they are told. If the woman tells them, she’s a bitch. If she doesn’t, she’s cruel. Takes one to know one.

  35. @29: “If a guy doesn’t want to fuck me, he’ll simply ignore me. But at least he won’t rip me to shreds with his friends.”

    Seriously? You’ve never been that nerdy/fat/ugly girl that boys vociferously make fun of so they can ensure their friends are aware of their socially acceptable tastes in pussy?

    You’ve never read any internet forum or blog where anonymous males tear the shit out of a girl because she had the gall to have a photo of herself — not even necessarily meant for scrutiny, maybe just in a profile or an author bio — yet was also plain/flat-chested/fat?

    I totally agree women can be much more cruel in pettier ways that come out of competitive jealousy and hostility. But a lot of men are hardly benign in their sexual judgement of women.

  36. Hi Gloria. Sigh, no I was never that nerdy/fat/ugly girl. I was very lucky. And yes it sucks when boys do that. I don’t really think that grown, mature men act that way, just boys.

    I guess, in context of what TVDinner was saying (in regards to the “male gaze” ), I don’t consider cruel mocking by men to be the “male gaze.” Just assholish behavior.

    But you make a good point.

  37. You know what’s here? A lot of fucking whiners taking a YouTube video both seriously and offensively. Here, I bring all of you a message from earth, where the normal people live: Get over it.

    As for people stuck in “the friend zone”, how ’bout growing some balls and asking strangers out like a sane human being?

  38. Thanks for the link @26, and the sanity from Jade @29.

    These two chicks make me glad I’m married…I don’t miss dealing with that kind of shit.

  39. Former Tri-State,

    Being a jerk doesn’t work for me, I’m lousy at it. I chose to be kind, and to refuse any other social interaction. When he called, saying he had concert tickets to a group I loved, I suggested that he asked X, because she seemed to be crushing on him. I’m sure he thought I was a major bitch, I felt like a bitch because of the distress in his voice, but he did end up going to the concert with X, and last I heard they had tied the knot.

  40. i think i may have gotten too many tickets to the show on saturday. i may have two extras – how can i get them to someone who wants them?

  42. Geez, some men are such whiny little girls. The song’s funny. Get a sense of humor. Stop being so sensitive. Meninist suck the fun out of life and spit it on the floor.

  43. I’ve been reading these threads all over the tubes for days and days and have finally reached the point where I must put in my two cents. Duudz. Nobody owes you pussy. I don’t care if you wear a shiny shirt, or “neg” a gal, or hold her when she cries over some one else, or you help her move, or what the fuck ever. Nobody. Owes. You. Pussy. Oh and maybe you are in the “Friend Zone” because she wants to be your friend. Wacky! I know! And maybe a gal talks to you because she is interested in the topic at hand! Not (and stay with me here) because she wants you up her skirt. And really how sad are you if you would fuck a girl who really didn’t want to, but was doing it out of pity or guilt over possibly hurting your feelings? Talk about no self respect!
    True story. I have a very good friend, and I love him dearly, and in the past we have had a casual thing, but not now. Recently he tried to get me into bed and I told him that I didn’t want to and if I did it would be because I felt obligated to him for all the support he has shown me over the years. He said he understood and then said, in all seriousness “How about a hand job?” I laughed so hard I hit my head. I still love him, and he’s still my friend, but Nobody Owes Him Pussy. Or a hand job.

  44. @Lissa. Spot fucking on.

    Man, I wish I could just be friends with a single guy when I’m a single girl. But I can’t! Because he thinks I owe him pussy. It’s positively degrading and heart breaking.

  46. Kersey … find someone where the feeling is mutual.

    And/OR someone who already has access to pussy.

    And ladies … ( and maybe men) … if you are in the friend zone with someone and you push them until they are their emotionaly weakest and drunkest? Don’t be too … impressed with the results.

    And if you find someone that is hopelessly smitten with you? If you can’t lower your standards, maybe you should consider cutting them off. It’s the most merciful thing to do.

  47. These two are a prime example of our failing education system. Talk about some babbling logorrheic crap; and even with a added melody to go along with it . Sheesh…… this is our future folks, perhaps the best the next generation has to offer. These two perhaps do have some potentual though ……Coming to a drive thru near you!

    Very disturbing thought enit?

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