…Ricky Gervais is fat. But that’s not quite how Ricky Gervais sees it.
I heard someone on the radio once say that they were tired of the prejudice aimed at the overweight. They said something like “you’re not allowed to make fun of gay people, so why are you allowed to make fun of fat people? It’s the same thing.”
It’s not the same thing though, is it? Gay people are born that way. They didn’t work at becoming gay. Fat people became fat because they would rather be that way than stop eating so much. They had to eat and eat to get fat. Then, when they were fat they had to keep up the eating to stay fat. For gayness to be the same as fatness, gay people would have to start off straight but then ween themselves onto cock. Soon they’re noshing all day getting gayer and gayer. They’ve had more than enough cock… they’re full… they’re just sucking for the sake of it. Now they’re overgay, and frowned upon by people who can have the occasional cock but not over indulge.
When a doctor tells me that that’s how you become gay, I’ll stop making jokes about fat people.
Via Queerty.
OMG!!!!! That was the best thing I read on Slog all day!!!
Funny! But since when is it not allowed to make fun of gay people?
It’s possible to be “over” anything. If it’s something that turns off people and makes them want to retch, it’s “Over”.
o dear. you know, some people are in fact “born fat,” in that they have well-documented glandular disorders that predispose them to obesity (see for example, cushing’s disease). so in that regard, this analogy is only partially applicable, which kind of makes it not applicable at all.
but that’s beside the point. nobody should be forced to apologize or develop half-assed analogies to excuse making fun of people. everybody just needs to lighten the fuck up already.
And all gays are not likely born that way. As always, some brilliant Savage-ish logic going on here by Gervais. What a surprise this got posted!
I could go for some cock right now.
@5, I agree, anyone will become gay after taking the right size man-cock up their asses. There is nothing that feels better. So I agree, you CAN become gay; with enough long thick cock!!
I caught that on Dlisted – total comic genius. Great science, not so much, but great riff.
Dan, if you don’t like fat people, bully for you, but please stop being an ignorant asshole about it.
Genetics accounts for a huge amount of variability in weight, and there is plenty of evidence that obesity results from eating patterns established in early childhood.
Also, when parents try to restrict their kid’s diet, the inevitable result is accelerated weight gain. My wife makes a living cleaning up the mess caused by parents who want their kid to be thinner and as a result either make them fatter or turn them into bulemics. Lucky for you, your kid isn’t on the higher end of the normal BMI distribution, or he’d be fat as hell by now and full of self loathing.
Do the world a favor, and either educate yourself about this topic, or shut the fuck up about it. If you opt for the former, I suggest you start with anything by Ellen Satyr.
Self-justification is always a rich mine for comedy.
My friend Tyson once ate twelve weiners in twelve minutes for a free pack of twelve more weiners. Does that make him gay?
@9: You’re really big into denial. Normally something needs to be covered in ranch dressing or chocolate fudge for a tubby to get that worked up over it.
Reading these people attacking Dan one has to ask “Are those people a little chunky themselves?”
I think we all know the answer to THAT question.
If we combine #7 & #12, we can cover large, thick dicks with ranch dressing (or, if you prefer, fudge), and then EVERYONE can be fat, gay & happy.
That actually doesn’t sound too bad.
Noshing on cock all day? Yummy! But over gay…never!
obviously all of Dan’s hangups can be traced to the day in 8th grade p.e. class when the coach paired him up with the fat, hairy kid who smoked the week they were covering greco-roman wrestling…
Ah, to be a young, thin, hipster with a high metabolism. Gleefully making fun of everyone that’s different than you. How refreshing and exciting. It’s almost like being in high school again.
What if someone is gay and fat?
it’s even funnier, (Gervais’ comments) when you’re aware that, allegedly, Gervais is hung like a burro….
@17, Dan is like 56 years old!!!
It’s not my fault! I was born this way! I have a glandular problem! It’s my metabolism! I’M JUST BIG BONED!!!
Please. Maybe a few people are grossly overweight for reasons beyond their control, but not every fucking person over 300 lbs is a victim. Jokes are being made at the expense of the majority of fat people, the people who have chosen to eat themselves half to death.
@9 + everyone who is pointing their fingers at Dan: these are not Dan’s words. These are Ricky Gervais’ words, and you should direct your anger and indignation in his direction.
I thought Ricky Gervais was fat, too.
I can’t even look at a cock without getting gayer.
I’m with Urgutha Forka; when exactly did we ban making fun of gay people?
@20: I wasn’t talking about Dan. Or, in case you’re still guessing, Ricky Gervais.
@26 you should re-read what you wrote earlier you moronic lard ass!
See, we shouldn’t make fun of fat people we should verbally abuse them.
1. There are continuously larger numbers of fat people;
2. Fat people are substantially less bangable, therefore;
3. Their increasing numbers cannot be due to fat genes propagating themselves at higher rate than non-fat genes, therefore;
4. For the overwhelming majority of fatties, it’s not genetics
@27: Your superior logic has defeated me. I will now go weep into a gallon of Tillamook Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream.
@28: best. logic. ever.
-you made my day
“What if someone is gay and fat?”
Sorry, this is Seattle, you can’t make fun of bears either. yet another protected class.
In fact, you can’t make fun of anything here, city of the most uptight, friggin’, PC prudes I’ve ever met.
Yes, you can make fun of whomever you want, as long you have something actually clever to say, but I certainly disagree with Ricky Gervais and everyone else who wants to shame fat people into being thin.
Since when has shaming people ever worked in the long term?
How about these abstinence-only programs, to pick an issue close to Dan Savage’s heart? They are based on shaming people out of having sex, but whoops, people go ahead and have sex, the difference from their educated peers being that now they feel ashamed and are less likely use adequate protection, leading to higher rates of STIs and unwanted pregnancy, blah blah blah.
Yes, shame is a fantastic way to motivate. Bra-freaking-vo. Notice how thin Gervais is due to his daily shame regimen?
“as long you have something actually clever to say”
If you can’t make jokes about fatties, who’s left? Midgets, dwarfs? Pixies? Can we still make fun of them?
As a regular flyer, can we at least make the fatties pay for their own seats? I swear, half the time I fly I have some porker spilling into my seat. Ditto for flight attendants in this country….if your ass doesn’t fit down the aisle, fire ’em.
Scientists Discover Gene Responsible For…
One study: a group of average weight men was made to increase their body weight by 20-25%, a second group of overweight men was made to lose weight until the same weight as the formerly average weight men. Then the number of calories needed to maintain this identical weight was calculated for each group. It turned out that the formerly obese group could only consume 50% as many calories as the formerly average weight group and maintain the same weight.
Looks like the fatties have been busy burning calories on their key boards. It’s a start!
@36. The message from the study? Don’t get fat to start with!
i much prefer that people express their hostility to fat people openly, rather than that fucking annoying seattle passive-aggressiveness. i know dan isn’t comfortable around fat people, so i don’t say ‘hi’ to him when i see him at SLOG happy or pester him with questions. i keep a respectful distance. and yeah, i am fat. i’m also down twenty pounds from three months ago, so i am looking forward to the day that dan savage says ‘hi’ to ME at a future SLOG happy.
Gee, I don’t know Dan. I agree that it’s healthier to be thinner, and I’m currently carrying around more weight than I should be. But I can’t buy this gay is a completely inherent trait and fat is completely voluntary argument you keep pushing. Some people are fat because their metabolism is such that they gain weight easily. Other people can eat at McDonalds every day and not gain a pound. It means that the easy weight gainers have to work very hard to take off the weight and keep it off. Just like if a gay person tries really hard they can by all appearances pass as straight. Doesn’t mean that either person is happy with their lot, but they do have a choice as to how they behave. If society demands thin and straight, those with a different predisposition can still choose to fit it. I’m not arguing that they should, but I am asking that you please try to show the same compassion toward fat people that you expect others to show toward gays. As far as I’m concerned you’re the Rick Warren of body size issues.
If I ever see Dan Savage in person I’m going to sit my fat ass down on him and squash my fatness all over him until he pukes!
Am I the only one who thinks the world would be better if we just pulled our collective fat heads from our collective fat asses?
You don’t want people criticizing you for being overweight, then lose some weight. Yeah, losing weight is hard. I’m in the middle of it right now. Gaining weight is easy. I already did that bit. On the one hand, gaining the weight was more fun than the losing of the weight. On the other, vigorously screwing my hot girlfriend and not feeling out of breath after doing so is a fantastic shot of self esteem, and thus more than worth the self-flagellation it takes to get me to work out.
But rather than accepting what we are, or trying to change it, we bitch when other people comment on it. “If he says I’m fat, clearly the fault lies with him than with my own body image issues.” Mmmm… Nope. Either you don’t mind being fat, in which case what he says really shouldn’t matter, or you don’t like being fat, in which case work your ass off (literally) so you’re not any more. Ricky Gervais, no skinny little dude himself, made a pretty funny joke, as he is more than welcome to do. Some of you didn’t like it. Of course, most of you didn’t know about it until you read something so you could GET offended by it. Kinda like all the Muslim jack-offs protesting the Danish cartoons of Muhammad. Granted, they wore funny looking hats and you wear mumus, but the concept is the same.
But that’s neither here nor there. The point of this long and rambling post, my friends, is that you have a choice. Get worked up over something inconsequential, or don’t. Be fat, or don’t. Genetics, family history, and personal psychological issues aside, you’re either happy in your body or not. Ricky Gervais can’t, won’t, and doesn’t want to make that decision for you. Hell, he can’t even influence it. Me, I’m fairly happy in my body. I’m happier since I started working out. And I’m going to keep doing it until I look the way I want to look. Simple as that.
I don’t have anything to say about the fat issue, but there’s something else that’s been bothering me for a long time. Does “gay” exclude lesbians now?
‘Cause, see, if I overindulged on cock, I wouldn’t be gay. Funny how that works.