Good morning and happy rainy Monday. Please enjoy this impressive weekend nightlife sighting sent early yesterday to Last Days, rightly hyped by Hot Tipper Christopher for its “near-fatal levels of I don’t even know what”:

Rarely does anything shock me after all my years in Seattle, but I saw something last night that just amazed me.

I was with some friends at Noc Noc enjoying ’80s night when a man appeared on the dance floor. He looked to be in his 40s and was bald with a suit jacket, but what really stood out about him was the iPad he brought out to the dance floor. “What’s On Your Mind (Pure Energy)” by Information Society was playing, and he held it up with the words PURE ENERGY on the screen. For the rest of the night, he would type snippets of lyrics or the titles of the songs on the screen and then show his toy off to everyone on the dance floor. His entire night out was dedicated to making sure everyone knew he had an iPad.

He was still there when I left, but I pictured him gliding home on Segway.

Of course it’s easy to judge those of us who choose to dance publicly with iPads, but let’s use this opportunity to expand our empathy. Maybe the guy’s a mute who just came out of a coma and wanted to celebrate. Or maybe he was hoping to take advantage of this phenomenon. Whatever the case, Mr. Hickey is so, so off the hook.

David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...

15 replies on “iDouche Redux”

  1. I’ve seen MUCH WORSE in clubs. They make belt buckles with LED’s you know right?

    This is just more of the fashionable iHate and hipster hate.

    tres lame.

  3. It was… well, I mean Noc Noc has it’s cast of characters, and along with bike shorts wearing, high kicking guy, it makes the night complete…

  4. Matt Hickey’s not off the hook. It probably was Matt Hickey. Unless this was Saturday night because I saw him then at the Unicorn while I was waiting for a corn dog, using his iPad, of course.

  8. @4 – Matt Hickey is many things, but bald and in his 40’s he is not. Nor would he dance with the iPad, if he’s dancing with electronics it’s a camera which he uses to take pictures of pretty ladies and, inexplicably, me occasionally. Leave him be.

  9. But isn’t that what Apple products are all about?

    If everyone doesn’t know you have one, what’s the sense of buying one?

  13. I like iPads, and I’ll probably buy one (although I’m old and cheap, and will probably wait for the second generation version).

    That said, this guy is a douche.

    Dancing is about you and the person/people you’re dancing with. About the music and the sexy. It is emphatically NOT about iPads.

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