No, he’s not. But that’s how stoopid people are interpreting this detail from the bottomless (get it?) Tiger Woods Sex Scandalathon:
[Woods’ alleged mistress Rachel] Uchitel allegedly forwarded along a bizarre, extremely private email from Woods, 33, in which he referenced her famous flings. Woods’ email, Uchitel’s friend tells Us, details the athlete’s “disturbing dream.”
“I had a dream we were married and I was leading the tournament,” Woods reportedly wrote. “I came home, excited to see you, and there you were in the bedroom getting fucked by Derek and David [Boreanaz]. Some part of me thinks you would like that.” The married athlete then explains how wired he is from his X-rated vision of Uchitel with TV and baseball hunks. “Now I can’t get back to sleep. My body is tired, but my mind is awake. Need an Ambien.”
First, let’s consider the source: US Magazine. And let’s consider those qualifiers: Woods’ alleged mistress who allegedly forwarded an email. (Forwarded to who? To US Magazine?) But even if the mistress is for real and the email is for real, this doesn’t represent a “gay twist” to the Tiger Woods scandal. Many straight men fantasize about their wives, girlfriends, and mistresses getting it on with other men. Cuckolds, hot wife fetishists, sperm competition syndrome, Insatiable Wives, swingers—the fact that some straight men get off on the idea or reality of their wives/girlfriends/mistresses getting it on with other men isn’t exactly breaking news. And it’s telling that Tiger was fantasizing about the woman with whom he was cheating on his wife—one of the many women he was cheating with—cheating on him. I can’t see into Tiger’s erotic inner life, of course, but if Tiger is anything like other married male cheaters his alleged affair with Uchitel turned him on because it was transgressive, because it was a violation and a betrayal, because it was dirty and risky and squalid. The mental image of one of his many mistresses—this one recast as his wife—cheating on him with other dudes not only makes her seem sexually insatiable, shifting some of the responsibility for the affair to her shoulders, it also makes the affair more transgressive, more dangerous, riskier; it adds additional layers of violation and betrayal—all the ingredients that made the affair such a turn on the first place—to the mix, only this time it’s Tiger who’s being violated and betrayed. The cheater becoming the cheated.
And there’s nothing necessarily gay about that.
If rich, successful men aren’t allowed to spread their seed around, what would be their motivation for being rich and successful?
Feminists and fundamentalists have ruined America.
Inasmuch as I couldn’t give a rat’s ass what Tiger Woods does with his free time (so long as he’s not killing people or beating up kids or something), I can’t help but wonder if he and his wife had some sort of an open marriage or an arrangement or something.
Obviously, he can’t come out and say, “she was cool with it — lay off” because while America will tut tut and turn its nose up at one of its heroes cheating on their spouse, what American WON’T handle well is the idea that one of its heroes is a sexual weirdo with an open marriage.
In my opinion, this scandal is no scandal at all. And even if he didn’t have permission, really, what business is it of ours?
Watching people fuck is a multi-billion dollar business. Apparently it’s a part of our nature.
Yeah, she was so “cool” with it she decided to take a three-iron to his face. I don’t think so.
David Boreanaz? What an obscure pick from the pantheon of Hollywood hunks. I hadn’t thought of Tiger as a Buffy fan. I refuse to believe someone of Tiger’s stature watches Bones. Or do David Boreanaz and Tiger Woods know each other. I hate that I’m curious about this. It makes me feel dirty in a bad way.
I wish my dreams were that hot.
US weekly is actually very reputable as far as celeb mags go. Every now and then they have a piece digging at OK!, etc for their false headlines.
They held printing for a day this week to nail the story.
/subscriber
I’d totally like to get boned by David Boreanaz …just sayin’.
What was he eating the night before? Might have to whip some of that up for dinner tonight…
@5 – I’m glad I’m not the only one whose line of questioning focuses on David Boring-Anus.
@5 Boreanaz and Uchitel have a rumored thang, or as they call themselves “good friends”. Uchitel is also linked with Derek Jeter through her nightclub VIP gig. It’s all a Who’s Who on the club girl hoo-hoo circuit.
Final nail in the Tiger’s coffin. Dude’s got some serious issues to work out with some psychologist and a spiritual counselor.
It’s going to be awkward the next time Tiger runs into those guys.
Hahahaha, Loveschild @12.
Final nail in his coffin? Are you shitting me? He’s one of the richest athletes in the world. He remains one of the best golfers in the world, and will likely to continue to be for years to come.
Yes, he might loose a couple of endorsements over this, and might miss a game or two. But this is at most a bump in the road, not the final nail in his coffin.
Get a grip.
Why David Boreanz? That seems like an odd pick. Besides, plenty of people have been caught cheating on their wives. The only problem will be what happens with his morality clause in his contract.
PS – I love Bones – he’s hilarious on there!
PPS – Who needs 9 fucking mistresses? 9? Really?
She doesn’t strike me as the type to be “cool with” her husband stepping out on her and their two children. Seeing as how she broke out the back window of his SUV and scratched up his face well enough he avoided the police for more than a week so the evidence could heal and she wouldn’t be charged with domestic battery.
“Dude’s got some serious issues to work out with some psychologist and a spiritual counselor.”
What issues, that he likes to fuck?
Feminist, fundamentalists and Oprah have ruined America.
Men pursue power and wealth to position themselves better for getting laid. It’s a hard-wired thing. How can anyone ever be surprised when a powerful, wealthy man has more than one lover?
David Boreanz and James Marsters would have been a hotter tag team.
@19
I think I’ve had that dream.
I can’t believe that a hugely rich sports star would have mistresses. I mean, it starts with golf, but the next thing you know football players will be messing around on their wives. After that, it will rock stars. Then, heaven forbid, rap stars or powerful politicians. Maybe even corporate C.E.Os. Where will it end, will no one think of the chiiiildreeennn?
As someone who’s fucked his fair share of European women (unmarried and otherwise), one of the first things that I learned about European marriages is that the hurt comes from the publicity, not the act. IOW, his wife probably attacked him because of the late night telephone call from the first mistress (Rachel Uchitel) warning them about the upcoming news story, not because her husband dipped his wick in another woman’s wax.