Love Our Arts & Culture Coverage?
You can help fund it!
See it here. She apparently tweeted about it.
In the shot, Jessica’s bare legs are seen hanging from the top of a toilet bowl, but not quite reaching the floor. Accompanying the revealing photo is the caption, “Short Girl Problems.”
Is she really that short or is the toilet seat exceptionally high? Simpson played Daisy Duke in The Dukes of Hazzard.
Charles Mudede—who writes about film, books, music, and his life in Rhodesia, Zimbabwe, the USA, and the UK for The Stranger—was born near a steel plant in Kwe Kwe, Zimbabwe. He has no memory... More by Charles Mudede
Comments are closed.
Sign up for our newsletter for news recaps, updates, and more!
From the description, I was picturing her legs coming out of the toilet bowl and hanging over the edge, as if someone were in the process of flushing her head-first into the sewers. Alas, no, she is still alive somewhere.
That poster is hilarious! The august authorities at celebheights.com seem agreed she is no more than 5’3″. If her legs are disproportionally shorter than her torso that could skew the result while perched on the throne. Might an abundant heinie factor as well? This is much more amusing than this morning’s “lion zebra sex p.s. here is my old trailer” or Eli’s “behold Smith Tower”. Thank you!
If you stood up the Jessica Simpson in that Dukes of Hazzard picture, her belt would be higher than the roof of the car.
So, yeah – totally not short at all.
Why isn’t she wearing shoes?
Charles, there’s this new thing called Photoshop. I hear that some (clearly disreputable) marketing folks have taken to using it. I’m sure that’s not the case here, of course. The good folks at Dukes of Hazzard wouldn’t lie to us. But it’s something to watch out for in the future.
@5 Or maybe it’s a really tiny car.
@6 – Nah. I’m pretty sure that Simpson is about 8 feet tall.
My question is, where are her panties? You got to pull them down at least to your knees, right? I think she was still wearing them, making this some kind of silly (but effective) publicity stunt.
@ 4, it doesn’t look like a public restroom to me. People do take their shoes off at home.
Wait a minute. Duh – that’s totally a public restroom. Ick…
@9 What kind of public restroom has what looks like a bath tub with a bath mat hanging on it?
Also, can we get rid of the #[whatever]problems meme? I hate it.
It’s her own bathroom. And the pic with her by the car is obviously not trustworthy…it’s a publicity still that’s been PS’d to hell and back.
Assuming the shot on the can is real though, I’m sure the foot fetishists of America (and those who are imagining her panty-less–possibly fully naked–in the non-visible part of the shot) thank her for providing it.
@10 – Grump problems.
A few years ago, I was waiting in line for a restroom behind a friend of mine (I’m 5′ 8″, she’s maybe 5′ 0″), and the handicapped stall opened up. She said, “oh, you go ahead of me,” and I was a little puzzled. Eventually, she admitted that she doesn’t like using the handicapped stalls because those toilets are often so high her feet don’t touch the ground.
I had definitely never realized that could be a problem for short people…. On the other end of the spectrum, I grumble when the toilet is so low, my knees are up around my shoulders…
Have you ever seen a female in Seattle who was both shorter than 5’7″ and lived in the Pacific Northwest?
See..that why it suck so bad.
The article says it’s in Bergdorf Goodman, which makes the absence of shoes inexcusable and probably a health code violation. Yuck.
Maybe she was just trying to be funny. This whole “dumb blonde” thing could just be an act.
@14 – I don’t know why I’m asking you to explain, but I’ve got no idea whether you’re saying that you’re too short to date in Seattle, or that you prefer tall girls and you don’t encounter enough of them.
Why does charles spend so much time talking about “pretty” white girls?
“Have you ever seen a female in Seattle who was both shorter than 5’7″ and lived in the Pacific Northwest?”
One, there are a lot of Asians here so yes, many women are shorter than 5’7″. Sadly, I am 4’9″ and my feet rarely hit the floor (no matter what I’m sitting on but they are make some toilets lower).
@19, DON’T TELL HIM THAT. NOW HE’S AFTER YOU. I guarantee he’s googling you right now trying to figure out where you live.
@17, he likes SHORT girls, not tall ones, and continues to believe that the only reason he can’t pick up 18-year-olds (his stated preference) is because of his height and not the fact that he’s a creepy 50-year-old divorced dude who lives in an apartment in Kent.
@20 – Somehow I knew there’d be an explanation far worse than either option.
Agreeing with @12 here — one of the options when buying a toilet is to get it “ADA” height for people in wheelchairs or for whom just bending down is hard. It’s not just in handicapped stalls, regular houses sometimes have them. I’m short too and I hate them! The story is totally plausible to me.
Who took the picture?
I can’t believe I’m commenting on this issue, but I need to support a fellow shrimp.
While I do think that the idea of bare feet in a public restroom is gross no matter where it is, monied people might think differently in situations like that in stores like that. I wouldn’t know.
As for short girl issues, I am 5 feet and have experienced this issue many times.
To give her the benefit of the doubt about the actual photo, I imagine she went into the bathroom, noticed the extreme disproportion between herself and the toilet (from my experience some are worse than others) and decided a twitpic would be funny, so she then later went back and posed while sitting on the seat. This would be why her panties aren’t down.