So, with a whole month to go before the next Critical Mass ride and its attendant slog comment shitstorm, I was contemplating the urban situation and a thought popped into my head:
Here’s a suggestion: how about Dueling Critical Masses? All of the bikers who hate CM, infiltrate it, then cork it like it corks cars. Just sprint a half block ahead, turn your bikes perpendicular to the intersection’s cross street, overlap your wheels, and refuse to let CMers behind you through, clearing cross-street traffic for cars, pedestrians and non-jerk cyclists? It could be called Mass Critical of Critical Mass. You’d be hailed as urban heroes.
Or, conversely, drivers could cork CM. Just block an intersection (bumper touching bumper so no skinny hipsters can weasel through on their fixies). One of CM’s alleged points is that the road belongs to everyone, so logically, if CM has the right to cork drivers, drivers or other cyclists have the right to cork CM. Just, you know, for fun, the sheer pleasure of being out on the street interacting with their fellow citizens on the road everyone has to share. Sauce for the goose. . .
@50
LOL, good one gurldoggle. that was funny, almost as funny as man with luxury car.
i fucking hate how i got wet when it rained one time. i fucking hated it so much i am writing about it on the internet.
All you people keep overlooking the proper solution.
Give Seattle PD a 20mm cannon and a license to cork the ride.
Finis.
@53 You forget the only thing anyone on SLOG hates more the CM riders is SPD having license to do anything.
FUCK OFF CHICAGO FAN AND STAY IN CHICAGO
55 – EAT SHIT!
Matt in Denver, you eat shit, and stay of the Seattle blogs.
Girlsoggy, what the fuck are you talking about? I thought the downtown library banned you from using the computers to post hate.
I love driving my luxury car. It’s a two-door roadster, cost me about 75K, and it fucking rocks the streets. I love zipping up behind cyclists and following them reeeeaaal slow while blasting Janet Jackson from my custom Bang and Olufsen sound system. Usually after about a block they have a snit, pull up onto the sidewalk, and scream “just fucking go past!!!!!!” and I roll down my window, give them a smile and a wave, and tear off down the street. Fuck I love my car.
57 – No! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Sweet sweet Jesus loves every one of you. That’s the good news.
This thread is hilarious for tangentially topical reasons.
Baltimore can’t seem to get such an event off the ground. There have been attempts, but it has never amounted to much. In a city with one of the highest murder rates in world, I think most people are afraid of annoying others. If you block traffic in Baltimore, someone will, how do you say, pop a cap in your ass.
I regret that my bike locker rate went up 25 percent and thus I’m going to have to sk8 to work more often than bike.
Agreed with 62.
How about this: cork the front, and make sure you have enough people to trap the CM dicks in a 1-2 block radius. Rinse & repeat.