We both have shadowy Irish lineages that aren’t traceable because the relevant (recent) ancestors were raised by Catholic clergy.

I don’t really see a family resemblance (him, me). However! Our Google image searches both have images of devils on their front page. Plus, he has an unnatural fondness for pate, and I have an unnatural fondness for chicken livers. And we have both worked as theater critics.

And since we can’t trace our shadowy Irish ancestry we can’t prove we’re not related. Which means that at that party when I first started working for The Stranger and Adrian “Homosexual Agenda” Ryan was trying to take me home—or just take me in the bathroom—he was trying to cajole me into an act of incest.

For shame, Mr. Ryan.

But you can’t pick your family…

Brend an Kiley has worked as a child actor in New Orleans, as a member of the junior press corps at the 1988 Republican National Convention, and, for one happy April, as a bootlegger’s assistant in Nicaragua....

9 replies on “Last Night at Dinner, Adrian Ryan and I Discovered That We Are Probably Related”

  1. Adrian Ryan is about 10x more fugly than he is in the picture he uses from 15 years ago (see his facebook pics)

    1- Brendan isn’t gay

  8. Everybody is related. The vast, vast majority of people you meet on the street are your 40th cousins or closer. If you share a common national heritage (e.g. you are both Irish) I’d reckon you have a very good chance of being 20th cousins or closer. Even the most distant, isolated people on Earth are no more distant than 2,000th cousins to you.

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