- Will Bullas
- The Capybara Club
As all of us who were raised Catholic know, that means no meat on Fridays.
Unless you are talking about the Capybara.
A friend sent me this “Fun Capybara Fact”: Pope Benedict XVI will eat an entire capybara during Lent, to demonstrate Papal Infallibility (capybara having been declared fish for the purposes of lent by one of his predecessors).
After finding no confirmation on this same friend’s groundhog fact, I looked around the internet only to find several Catholic websites (here, here and here) with articles gleefully describing this papal mistake.
So there you go. The world’s largest rodent is actually a fish.
“Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church.”
WTF.
And the earth used to revolve around the sun – until it didn’t.
And you can buy your way into Heaven, if you have the right connections.
And each human sperm contains an itty-bitty fully-formed miniature human being – and the egg is just something for it to hang out inside for nine months until it’s ready to pop out of the oven.
And teh ladies are befouled with the Original Sin and so can’t be priests like the Godly, pious menz.
And Jeebuz was crucified to death, but then came to life again three days later, and we know this happened for realz because the rock to his tomb was rolled away and the body was gone how else could that have happened? Oh, and somebody’s brother’s cousin swears-its-true he heard that some guy in Emmaus had dinner with him, but at first he didn’t recognize him, but then he, like, totally DID – and you know nobody would make up that kind of detail, so it must be true. Oh, and he could turn water into wine and make an all-you-can-eat fish sandwich, and beat the devil on his home turf and was blonde-haired and blue-eyed, just like every other Aramaic Jew during the Pax Romana.
And – um, any other “papal infallibilities” anyone wants to add to the list, feel free…
I’m still waiting for the return to the view that the earth is a turtle shell on which we reside.
Giddyap!
Pope Ratzi is the world’s biggest rodent.
For an omnipotent deity, god seems rather easy to fool.
Funny thing about Papal infallibility, and I’m rather distressed that the Pope doesn’t actually recognize it himself – there are conditions to it and it’s only been done once since the official decision on how the Pope spoke infallibly. But that’s neither here nor there and I find this article hilarious.
On a more relevant note, where do you get Capybara in Seattle???? I want to try this out and observe Lent properly!
Googling for recipes, I find that the most popular way to eat this rodent is as jerky – though I see some mention of sausage. No one seems to be selling the jerky, which surprises me. Isn’t everything available on the internet?
I wonder if the Swinery plans to fill this gap. If anyone, it would be them.
Doesn’t the doctrine of papal infallibility only extend to matters of faith (e.g., Jesus is the son of god) and not doctrine (e.g., condoms are bad, capybara are fish) anyway? The doctrine doesn’t apply…and I’d like to think the pope is aware of that.
(Also – hilarious post. Thanks.)
I called Quinn’s on CapHill to find out if they had it. If any restaurant in town would carry Capybara, they would. The poor gal who answered the phone said she’d check and came back after reportedly talking to the sous chef. The chef thinks they may have problems sourcing it. It’s a delicacy in Venezuela, according to some sources. I can’t even find a place to buy it online.
Quinn’s is going to let me know if they get it on their menu.
El Faro? I think that’s the name of the meat market that carries game at Pike Place… may be a good source for it as well. They can source venison backstrap for you if you want to pay the price for it.
Y’know, most of the things that the Church refuses to back down on and admit they were wrong about infuriate me to the point of frothing. This one…this one is pretty good.
Who did the amazing artwork for this slog post. Would love to know the artist name.
From my position as World’s Most Famous Capybara and Capybara Ambassador, I do not find this to be a “fun fact” at all.
@11, my apologies, I am fixing it in the post, here’s the info:
The Capybara Club, by Will Bullas
Before capybaras were considered fish there was the Barnacle Goose, thought to hatch underwater from barnacles, and so considered for a time as acceptable fish for fasting days.
@9 I would love to know if we get capybara in town! I would totally try it.
Wait, what does this have to do with typography?
I will update if they call me back. I may try a couple of other places when I have a bit more time to make calls and figure this out. Methinks I’m running into “socially acceptable meat” issues related to this quest. Capybaras are gentle and cute and by all accounts, quite tasty.
My roommate (a fellow SLOG reader) reports that this is why she thinks Peruvian restaurants do not serve guinea pig here, even though it’s perfectly normal to eat them in Peru. There’s something strange (and expensive) about buying dinner for yourself at the pet store.
Does the Pope know that he’s eating an animal made of pure awesomeness?
I’ve been in an email exchange with Scott from Quinn’s. They did some looking and came up with a guy in Texas who can get them a couple, but not until August. So they may be able to get a couple of those and/or a couple of muskrat (also allowed in the upper peninsula of MI, I think), freeze them and plan some sort of dinner for Lent next year. Sourcing any of that this year is pretty much impossible.
I’m thoroughly enjoying the interchanges, too. Definitely give Quinn’s props for their willingness to step out and play with the cuisine with me!
@19 Bravo for Quinn’s! Keep us in the loop!!