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I liked that tree more when it was a sapling.
And how many white belts is that stupid hipster tree wearing, anyway?
Needs a headdress
Is that an ironic extension cord around its trunk?
Somebody needs to hang a pair of sneakers from it.
i wanna fuck that tree. TOTALLY FUCK IT.
The one leg-warmer look is cute though.
emo tree on Harvard is sad you didn’t profile it 🙁
Hipster was passed out so cold this morning it didn’t wake up when twenty dogs one after the other came and peed in its mouth.
Hipster Tree is going to get a very rude slap of reality shortly when it suddenly, inexplicably goes bald – and NOT because it asked for a “triple-zero” at Rudy’s.
Probably rides a fixie.
leaf it alone!~
Probably just moved here from some nursery on the Eastside.
I used to be that tree. Now I’m just a stupid mannequin who never leaves a basement on Beacon Hill.
Why do you have to pick on that tree? Every other tree on that block is fully grown; that tree is just a baby. Poor tree. What did it ever do to you?
@16 – That tree is a lot older than you think. It just refuses to act or dress its age.
Pull it up, because it might die and that would be sad.
If you look close enough you’ll notice that a couple of those branches are actually antlers. It also has a tattoo of a gun in a holster under that leg warmer.
I guess you were right, Linus.
I shouldn’t have picked this little tree.
Everything I do turns into a disaster.
I guess I really don’t know what Christmas is all about.
Thinking it might go grow in Brooklyn next year after graduation.
Already working on a post-chillwave album as we speak.
It’s eventually going to move to the burbs, marry a nice sugar maple and pump out a bunch of saplings.
whateves, the lack of ironically discarded four loko cans at its base just proves this stupid tree is just a poseur without any real stranger street cred. sooo meh.
Jesus F, what in hell is going on up there in Seattle at The Stranger offices? You guys are REALLY starting to worry me. Stop drinking the tainted water, throw away the rest of those brownies Dan made and put that crack pipe down and slowly walk away!
He’s probably a chain-smoking vegan tree, too
This hipster tree pissed all over the latest Animal Collective album just to be ironic.
It’s cool the way The Stranger shits all over its readership and its neighbors.
@21, and when it gets to Brooklyn it will claim to be from Portland.
It’s small because it refuses to grow up. A Regressor.
@28: Yep – and you’re exactly the type everyone’s shitting on. Have a nice life, fuckwit.
Brooklyn? HA! This tree is so cool it’s moving to DETROIT to start an urban farm. Where it will name its 1st child Brooklyn.
Eric Grandy – you are now my favorite person. Ever.
Sucks to be you.
@32 luv it: but since Detroit was all the rage for the hipster trees of this variety, I think this one going to move to Omaha or Cleveland, just as a f/u to the meme, man.
Adrian, I DID fuck that tree. Fucked it hard. That tree is a terrible lay, let me tell you.
Shot on film. What else?
@31- More impact if you’d italicized “exactly” rather than “you’re”.
But I guess my point is “Normal person plus anonymity plus audience equals total dickwad.”
I love you guys! That tree is my kind of guy. I like them twink-esque.
I’m sorry, but did you all miss a reference to a classic of american literature? Fuck all y’all, you’re all so mainstream.
Look at all the bush lined up on the sidewalk next to it
MIss it, nah. Point to it, nope. Just nod admiringly as it passes.
Oh, fuck you, Baconcat. Just because we’re not all a bunch of aloof, elitist snobs like Obama, there’s no need to get in a snit.
🙂
“A Tree Grows in Brooklyn” is a favorite of mine. And, yes, I saw Eric’s reference as did others. You need to have your ears scratched and to be hand fed some bacon.
…and more sex in it than you remember, if you read it now with out skimming it like you did in 8th grade…
That tree’s not going to be so smug when its parents cut it of from its stupid trust fund and it has to get a job that frowns on its sweet “FUCK WORK” knot tats.
50 comment get for Grandy.
trollface.jpg
At least that tree doesn’t go on and on about bands nobody has even heard of, less yet give a shit about.
@47 I have it on good authority that it is heavily into Icelandic electronica.
It’s the reincarnation of Slats!
Where’s its stupid beard?