I’m sorry if you’ve already seen this video, of this kid telling his mom that he’s an atheist… but I need to take this time, right here and right now to say, keyboard cat, I love you.

Kelly O—formerly a Stranger staff photographer, music writer, Drunk of the Week columnist, and more!—finished art school and a soul-crushing internship at a corporate advertising agency in Detroit,...

31 replies on “Lunchtime Quickie”

  1. Uh, “you’re going to get absolutely nothing, nothing for Christmas” is possibly the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time. That’s the best you can come up with? Bribing your kid to believe in God? That’s amazing….

  2. Wow. Ummm I think mom might be over reacting there. You know, just a little. For the record does that bitch understand the significance of pegan solstice celebrations and their relation to the conversion of the Anglican people. Probably not, how foolish of me to assume a Christian would understand their own faith. Foolish Foolish man.

  4. I so jumped in on the Keyboard Cat meme yesterday. I think this one will have a short shelf-life, but I’m still enjoying it.

  5. Yeah, that was my thought, @Julie. That’s it? That’s the best you can come up with? You don’t believe in god? Well, no more presents for you! Well done, Mom.

  7. Wow. Maybe I’m naive, not being a parent and all, but it’s really hard to believe someone would talk to their kid like that. I mean, it’s so unbelievably disrespectful. He might be your kid, but he’s learning how to think for himself. Why not engage him like a thinking person?

    Yeah, I must be naive.

  8. I smell a staged fight.

    Otherhow, really, this doesn’t seem that weird to me. I mean, try to imagine something you care about. Try to imagine having a kid. Try to imagine that kid one day telling you he or she thinks the thing you care about is stupid. If you think you wouldn’t make an asshole out of yourself trying to talk them back into thinking your belief system (or whatever) isn’t valid, you are smoking the crack of the pipe.

  12. @7: Oh, people talk to their teenagers like this. Have you met teenagers? They’re little shits a lot of the time, especially to their parents. Change the subject and (minus the chair-twirling and in-your-faceness), I can guarantee this level of language and volume was a once-a-month occurrence between my mom and me in my teen years.

    This woman’s probably just assumed “Christian” as part of her identity, regardless of living up to the standards set out in her supposed belief system, and having her kid refute that (and the way an atheist kid would make her look in her community) is probably not what she wanted to deal with.

    Either way, she overreacted, and the kid probably could have broached the subject in a more delicate fashion.

  13. @7, 8: I’m guessing the kid is just a typical teenage, rebellious ass who just knows how to push mom’s buttons.

    You like god? Fine, I don’t believe in god.

    That said, she’s rising for that bait faster than a Slog reader for a Loveschild comment!

  14. I’m 34, and still have not told my practicing Christian parents I’m an Atheist. FTR, I did come out of the gay closet. While I am sure this was staged, I can also see why it’s perfectly believable.

  17. Keyboard cat makes everything feel better. I wish there were a meatspace version of him that I could bring with me to close out difficult conversations.

  18. #17, all you need is a really mellow cat and a keyboard. I have both – maybe I should rent my services out for awkward situations.

  20. Teenagers aren’t really known for their subtlety, especially given an emotionally charged subject, so it’s hard to hold him responsible for his mom’s aggression. Mom’s plainly blowing a teaching moment in letting the projected pain of failing to live up to her professed belief system loose on her son (or whatever her motivations could be). I suppose being confronted with the specter that your own son may not obey the doctrines against which you’ve painfully measured your own worth through out your life is a profound shock.

    He likely won’t forget this, so it only means this whole discussion will now go underground for him. Which isn’t to say in calmer moments it can’t be brought to the surface again. But what a candid moment.

    I’m sorry to say, but that cat gives me the creeps. I keep thinking its noble feline soul has been hijacked by the vengeful ghost of a vaudeville piano player. Anthropomorphism gone wild.

  22. Boy, this shrew makes my uber-catholic dad’s “I’m disappointed..” lecture at my coming-out (circa 17) seem downright Enlightened!

  24. And I keep having to explain to my family that I’m not an atheist! Maybe this kid an I should change families.

  27. Actually, Eliza, my cat is pretty agoraphobic. Mellow, yes, but I probably wouldn’t get him out the door. He has no shirt, also, which is a drawback. So, probably no bookings for kitty.

  28. So much for Mama encouraging independent thought. We don’t want to backtrack on what we promised the bishop, now, do we? Jezus-titty-fucking-Christ.

  30. @16: Charlie Schmidt! He was my graphic design teacher over 20 years ago at a week-long camp for artsy-fartsy kids in Port Townsend. Thanks for the website link. He was nutty, but I really liked him a lot.

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