I’m so glad I’m not in the Navy. This is like a real-deal Full Metal Jacket meltdown…

h/t to King Randall William Phillips

Kelly O—formerly a Stranger staff photographer, music writer, Drunk of the Week columnist, and more!—finished art school and a soul-crushing internship at a corporate advertising agency in Detroit,...

19 replies on “Lunchtime Quickie: Crybabies In The Military”

  1. Dang, I bet that’d be me if I’d ever been drafted (or desperate enough to enlist).

    And isn’t that’s MP training, if the shirts are any indication? Just think, that fellow’s going to wind up in some civil police department somewhere, say, patrolling down by Howell and Boren, not overreacting to anything ever, no sir…

  2. This actually makes perfect sense to me — it won’t do any permanent damage to him (was that pepper spray?) and it’ll mean if he ever gets sprayed in the face in the field, his body and brain will already know not to panic — that he’ll be okay. Also, the crying and stuff is less an emotional reaction than it is a physical one. He did amazing, I thought. I’d never be able to do that.

  3. You’ve got to admit, it’s pretty great to see how supportive and encouraging all of his comrades are throughout the video. No one is ridiculing him or calling him a pussy, and everyone obviously wants him to succeed. It’s not the type of atmosphere that people stereotypically associate with military training.

  4. Uh…OC is pepper spray. So he’s crying because he’s been sprayed full in the face with something designed to make him cry, as well as designed to inflame ocular and nasal tissue. What the hell did you expect he’d do when sprayed full of OC, get a hard on?

  5. It’s better to watch with the sound turned OFF!

    Are these guys all hopped-up on crystal meth, or are they just glad to see each other? It sounds like a chicken coop gone mad.

  6. Adrian, were his trainers and squadmates crowding around to calm and comfort him through it on that occasion too? Cos that would be hawt.

  7. In navy boot camp they had us stand in a chamber full of tear gas and we had to sing anchors aweigh. I’m sure almost everyone did a lot better than this guy did. Lots of encouragement for him even though he was doing poorly though.

  8. I encourage peeps to watch more pepper spray vids on YouTube! Pepper spray is designed to make your eyes burn, yes, but squeal like a piggy from Deliverance? My fave part is when he’s holding the baton with both hands bawling “I can’t see” !!! We know dude, we know… We fucking sprayed you in the fucking face with fucking pepper juice concentrate and shit!

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