The Stranger wants you to HUMP! Seattle City Light wants you to Slay Your Energy Vampires:

Forks isn’t the only place in Washington that knows how to handle vampires! In fact, just in time for Halloween, Seattle City Light is holding a “Slay Your Energy Vampires” video contest. The utility invites residential customers to upload videos of up to 90 seconds in length to show the energy vampires in their homes and what they’re doing to get rid of them.

“We hope this contest will be a fun way for people to learn how they can save money by eliminating wasted energy,” Superintendent Jorge Carrasco said. “I’m looking forward to watching their videos and perhaps picking up a few tips, too.”

Videos will be accepted throughout September. All entrants will receive an energy efficient compact fluorescent light bulb. Public voting will determine 10 finalists. The grand prize winner, as well as second and third finishers will be picked by judges from the finalists and announced on or about Oct. 25. Creativity will be rewarded.

Seattle City Light’s call-for-entries is here. HUMP’s call for entries is here. And now here’s the Seattle City Light/HUMP! challenge: Produce a 90 second video that can be entered in HUMP! and Seattle City Light’s “Energy Vampire” contest. You can do it: HUMP! videos don’t have to be hardcore and there’s nothing in Seattle City Light’s rules barring submissions about the electricity-sucking sex toys in your nightstand or the electricity-inflicting sex toys in your dungeon! And if you manage to get your video into both contests—you can do it!—Slog’s flying monkeys will vote your video up at Seattle City Light’s contest website and you could win… well, you could win some pretty lame prizes. But your video could wind up winning some pretty amazing prizes at HUMP!:

Best Humor: $1,000 First Prize, $250 First Runner-Up Prize
Best Sex: $1,000 First Prize, $250 First Runner-Up Prize
Best Kink: $1,000 First Prize, $250 First Runner-Up Prize
Best in Show: $2,500 Grand Prize

Like Superintendent Jorge Carrasco, I’m looking forward to watching your videos and picking up a few tips!

8 replies on “Make Porn For Seattle City Light: A HUMP! Challenge!”

  1. Oh dear, two of my favorite things: Electricity and pornography.

    And shame on you, Dan. Those are lovely prizes. What were you expecting? An all-electric kitchen? We’re broke.

  5. Confidential to Scott @ Seattle City Light,

    You make me want to stop paying my electric bill. That editorializing lecture you gave ME was SOOOOOO unprofessional (AND, I should add, misdirected). I explained what you should do to make things happen, and that should have ended it, BUT…you got a hair up your arse didn’t you? If you call back I will ask to speak to your boss about YOUR attitude, I’m sure he’d like to know you’re calling ME and wasting valuable company TIME!

    Kisses
    Nipper

  6. @3, WAY less. The ErosTek portable ones that use probes/clamps have power INPUTS from either a 9V battery or an AC adapter that draws less than 5 watts. What it actually delivers to your rectum or nuts is probably in the tens of milliamps. It doesn’t take much.

    I’m guessing the Violet Probe types that create high frequency/low current sparks and such might draw 50-200W from the wall socket just because they have to power a lot of transformers/coils/etc., but again what is actually delivered to the skin is a very small amount of power. The high frequency of this type of device keeps the current on the surface of the skin instead of traveling through deep tissues.

    People should NEVER try to jury-rig e-stim themselves, even from batteries. A VERY small current (microamps? milliamps?) improperly passing through the body can cause cardiac arrest. Devices from reputable companies are well engineered and contain numerous safety features in their complex electronics.

    Even medical monitors of the type used in ICUs that are just tracking pulse, respiration, blood chemistry, etc. must have special isolation circuitry included to eliminate any possibility that a malfunction or voltage spike could deliver a dangerous pulse to the body. That’s one of the reasons they’re so expensive.

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