Kansas City police confirmed that resident Martin Manley shot himself yesterday morning, on his 60th birthday. He left the world a website, aptly titled martinmanleylifeanddeath.com, which he linked to from his other website, a sports blog, with the note “The reason for my departure is 100% within my ability to control. You see, earlier today, I committed suicide.” The suicide site—which has been going on and offline all day—is chilling, to say the least. But what’s chilling is not his documented plans to kill himself, it’s how happy he seems to be talking about it. Manley writes in a very composed, pleasant voice. Like if a butler was going to kill himself.

I never accepted the (what I would call…) archaic notion that I should simply die at some point – either in a long drawn out miserable death or in an instant for which I was not prepared.

Oh, and then there’s the potential treasure map.

Buried in Manley’s site were coordinates.

I had no financial problems. I sold my house which was completely paid for in 1998. The same year I bought $30,000 in 1/10 ounce gold coins and pre-1965 silver coins. Gold was $300/ounce when I bought it and silver was $4/ounce. Gold went up to $1,700 and Silver to $44 making my stash worth over $200,000.

[Coordinates] 38.800542, -94.687884

These coordinates, leading to a street a few miles south of Kansas City, are just cryptic as all hell. As soon as word got out about a potential fifth of a million dollars in coins that may be at the coordinates, a local radio station sped down to find the treasure. They were met with cops already on the scene. So what then? Was there a tense stand-off between the alt-rock station and cops, or did they split the booty down the middle?

Well, turns out there was no treasure. Nobody was able to find anything at the site, and family members confirmed that Manley had given away his fortune in coins before he killed himself. Which honestly is a wonderful “screw you” to go out with. Leaving buried treasure to help publicize your already very publicized suicide? Kinda needy. Leaving fake coordinates to a fake buried treasure? Kinda funny.

The website also consists of pages and pages of Manley justifying his surprisingly well-thought-out decision (minus a few 9/11 rants). He goes over his thoughts and musings on the age of 60, timing (his health insurance, lease, and renter’s insurance all expires soon), even gun control.

Considering the fact that I used a gun to take care of business, I felt I was suddenly qualified to discuss the issue of gun control. Up until now, I was just another bozo with an opinion. Ah, but no longer. Now, I’m a dead bozo with an opinion.

His preface mentions the reason for all his theatrical effort.

Let me ask you a question. After you die, you can be remembered by a few-line obituary for one day in a newspaper when you’re too old to matter to anyone anyway… OR you can be remembered for years by a site such as this. That was my choice and I chose the obvious.

It’s memorable, to say the least.