Between Dominic’s coverage of the local movement, Eli’s growing collection of protest letters from around the country, Schmader’s running list of good slogans for homemade signs, Savage’s photos of the protests earlier this week in New York City, and our call today for you to put your protest photos in our Flickr pool (the best of them will be published in The Stranger‘s print edition next week), Slog has become one-stop shopping for information on the Prop 8 protests, but there’s some protest-related information we’ve received that we’re not putting up on Slog: the address of a home in Bellevue that belongs to the family of a man who donated $50,000 to the “Yes on Prop 8” campaign. A Mormon family. A protest outside of this family’s home is being planned for Monday night.

We would love to tell you where this house is… but, uh, the last time we put a home address in something we published, that didn’t work out so well. (You remember? A parody of those guides to houses with crazy holiday decorations? Wherein we wrote that having McCain signs in the yard constituted “spooky” Halloween decorations? And then right-wing blogs picked it up and readers around the country insisted—against all reason—that we were trying to incite violence to these houses, even though we weren’t doing that in the least?)

According to the email we got from organizers of this Monday night protest:

The demonstration outside [redacted]’s home will take place on Monday, November 17th, from 6-8pm, in honor of “Family Home Evening,” a day of the week on which Mormons are told to stay at home and bond with their families over their faith and values. In the spirit of the growing anti-Mormon backlash, join others this Monday by taking part in a very special Family Home Evening of sharing opinions and talking about faith. Since it will be dark, don’t forget your headlamps and other means of portable personal lighting to illuminate your own signs.

An autobiographical digression on this “Family Home Evening” business: My parents were non-denominational Christians who spent much of my early years in California shopping for the perfect church. We went to a Presbyterian church for a while, and a Methodist church, and a Congregationalist church, and a Baptist church, and for two years—roughly from when I was 8 to 10—we went to a Mormon church. The family across the street, the Roberts family, was a hale, happy, wavy-haired bunch, with two daughters and two sons and businessman dad who played tennis with my dad and a stay-at-home-and-give-music-lessons-on-the-side mom. Their children were slightly older than my parents’ children. Their oldest son (who looked not unlike John F. Kennedy) was on his mission in Spain. My parents regarded this family as the ideal family, and for those two years set about making the Frizzelles a little more like the Robertses. One thing the Robertses did one night a week—I remember it being Sunday, though maybe it was Monday—was Family Home Evening.

There are a lot of crazy things about the Mormon religion, but Family Home Evening isn’t one of them. For those two years, Family Home Evening at the Robertses was the highlight of my week. It consisted of family talent shows, family skits, playing pop songs off the radio for each other on the piano, jumping on the huge trampoline in the Roberts’s backyard, sitting in the Roberts’s hot tub, reading to each other, and never turning on the television. It happened at the same time every week. It was something you could count on. It felt like a club. Like a secret, special thing. It felt… cool. I’m pretty sure my parents thought: Why doesn’t every family do this? No wonder this family is so happy.

I imagine this wealthy Mormon family in Bellevue being interrupted as their oldest daughter is playing her best version of song she just learned on the piano. They stand up and go to the window and peer out. There is a furious-looking dyke, there is a frightening Sister of Perpetual Indulgence, there is someone holding up a sign that says “KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY COCK!” or whatever—I’m just saying it seems very likely that an angry protest outside of one family’s home, a family in the middle of having a good time together, might not have the sort of tolerance-expanding effect protesters are going for. I can’t see the protesters being perceived as anything but taunting, unfriendly, satanic, a threat. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the protesters are planning something more subtle, something sweeter, something about love. To that end, since I’m planning on going to this protest, I have made a sign that says, goofily, “WHAT’S WRONG WITH LOVE?” That’s the kind of sign that would make a family in the midst of Family Home Evening think. Something that might stick in someone’s mind—not shocking or snappy, but sweet and sincere.

For the record, we didn’t become Mormons. My parents expressed interest in joining the church, they were taken to the big temple in LA to learn more about their new lives as Mormons, and they didn’t like what they learned. Then, the same week, the bishop of our local ward (i.e., the leader of a geographic region of Mormon churches), who was a close friend of the Roberts family, was found dead in his garage one afternoon by his wife after she and the kids had been out running errands, having slit his own throat with a big kitchen knife. That was the end of our Mormonism.

UPDATE/CLARIFICATION: The organizer of this protest has contacted The Stranger to say: “I wanted to clarify something that was discussed in the [above] Slog post. This guy [who lives in this house] has four kids, all grown adults, so it’s not like I’m trying to scare his little helpless children. Just there to be a bitch to full grown adult bigots.”

Christopher Frizzelle was The Stranger's print editor, and first joined the staff in 2003. He was the editor-in-chief from 2007 to 2016, and edited the story by Eli Sanders that won a 2012 Pulitzer...

50 replies on “Mormon Family Home Evening (Or, Why My Family Went to the Mormon Church for Two Years, and Why We’re Not Publishing the Home Address of a Mormon Family on the Eastside Who Will Look Out their Windows on Monday Night and See Protesters)”

  2. I have to agree, this protest seems like a bad idea. Maybe protest outside the guy’s office, but his house? Not good. Kids inside after all, who will no doubt be scared and cry. Said tears will no doubt be on the evening news. The “think of the children!” crowd will have a field day. O’Reilly will rally the troops against the crazy fags in Seattle. Seriously conterproductive. Go find the guy at work or on his lunch break. Follow him with a “BIGOT —->” sign. Do anything but create the image of the crazy queers harassing a nice Christian family’s quiet evening. It won’t help.

  3. For two or three years in high school, my (completely secular/agnostic) family would have Family Eating Night (never bothered to think of a better name) every Wednesday, where we all go out to eat together. Nothing fancy, just one night set aside when you know you’ll be with your family. I can back that up, it is pretty nice.

  5. Absolutely deplorable!
    Protest at man’s house?
    Send white powder to religious establishments?
    Gay movement, I have voted with you in the past, I trusted you, now, with what I see, you have lost me…and my vote. Sorry.

  6. @5: Really? You think what I’m assuming will be a relatively small number of protesters represents the entire “gay movement,” to the extent that you will now vote against that group’s civil rights interests because of this group’s actions? Says more about you than them, I’m afraid.

  7. Hey, remember that tool that was posted awhile ago that allowed people to look up the people who donated to Yes on 8? Well… there’s only one person in Bellevue who donated $50,000. If anyone wants to find the address, I’m sure they’d have no problem. Not that I’m going to post it either…

  9. The guy’s kids probably didn’t donate the money, and probably had no say in whether or not he did, either. I don’t think screwing up his kids’ evening is a particularly effective tactic, and the Bellevue cops are likely to take an extremely dim view of that kind of disturbance of the peace in that neighborhood. Yeah, free speech and all that, but I’ll be damned surprised if the protesters don’t get seriously hassled, maybe even arrested.

  10. Yeah, the guy’s kids don’t deserve to be harassed. I will boycott the business of anybody whose name is on that list of donors, but I can’t support going to their house and disturbing their families.

  11. That’s a really mean thing to do. Donating huge sums of money to denying people equal rights goes beyond a “mean thing to do,” but two wrongs don’t make a good thing and all.

  12. Wow. So it’s okay to be closed minded to people you consider close minded? Is that what we’re saying? I have my own opinions about this debate, but I think all sides need to rethink the strategy of this protest and think about the fundamental idea you’re trying to propagate. “Shaming” others is exactly what this group is supposed to be protesting!
    Seriously, if all you can commit to do in your own life (no matter your political or social views) is to try harder to treat your fellow men with respect, and think twice before you defame, slander or tarnish someone else’ life through ignorance, lies or even plain old gossip . . . If we can do that, then we can make a difference, no matter the side we come from.

  13. I’m just saying it seems very likely that an angry protest outside of one family’s home, a family in the middle of having a good time together, might not have the sort of tolerance-expanding effect protesters are going for.

    I think your instincts on this are dead on the money.

  14. Who said the protesters are after a “tolerance-expanding effect”? This is clearly more in the vein of showing somebody who donated a large sum of money to a cause the angry faces of people he’s affecting.

  15. my understanding is that this guy (if it’s who I think it is) isn’t living there now, he’s on the east coast leading a mission there for the next three years. but maybe I have the wrong person because this local Mormon gave $100K according the the online records I saw.

  16. This is sooooo NOT going to do us any favors. Dumb dumb dumb. I’m all for protesting businesses and churches but going to a guys house is something else.

    Here’s my thought. If an owner or management of a business donates then boycott them. If Joe Mormon donates well then that’s no different than me donating to the other side. If someone started picketing in front of my house I would just think they are unsympathetic assholes… you know, like the people at this protest are going to look.

  17. Hey “Done”,
    I had no idea that the entire “gay community” had to behave in a stellar manner and live up to YOUR high expectations in order to have civil rights. I keep forgetting that people like you are the standard and more important than the rest of us. Again, sorry. But my bad does raise a very important issue; since straight guys are the standard for civil rights they are the ones who have the greater obligation to behave in a stellar manner. Many of them do not. It is time to for them to be held accountable. So the next time a group of them decides to piss in the street, or vandalize homes near Greek Row, or start a small riot outside of a sporting event, or stand outside of a doctors office with six foot fetus signs, I will have to start a campaign to suspend their civil rights. Then they must fight for their rights and prove to me that they deserve them.
    Best regards,
    Curtis

  18. Hey Curtis?

    Go ask any black person about this gay ‘civil rights’ issue. You might get some actual education about this and it isnt even remotely related to ‘civil rights’.

    Gay people already have the same civil rights as the rest of us. They just now think they require more of them. Nobody has herded them to the back of the bus.. or kept them from drinking out of water fountains. We dont want their blood in the blood banks, but most of them realize why.

    So, just grow a pair and realize that bleating insanity outside of ANYone’s home is NOT going to change their mind. In fact, if this dude has $50K to spend on this .. you can be sure next time around he’ll spend a helluva lot more.

    Grow up peeps… you keep losing this one in every state where you try it. It’s not going to pass. Not in this country, not in any country. You already HAVE all the rights that everyone else has.

  19. Hey Lee?

    I don’t want more rights just for gay people. I want straight people to be able to marry people of the same gender too, if they want. A rising tide lifts all boats, dude.

  20. I think a better idea than this protest, would be for everybody to dress up real nice, and spend an entire day sending two envoys at a time to this person’s house trying to explain the benefits of gay marriage. Imagine if every five minutes two guys in a white dress shirt and tie rang the doorbell to earnestly try and convince you to change your mind. For 12 hours straight.

    I’d think about it.

  21. The role of the individuals in Washington state who have donated significant amounts towards the passage of Proposition 8 raises my ire. But targeting individuals at their homes is likely to create negative publicity, raise problems with law enforcement, and cause disruption to neighbors. And it is ironic to punish individuals for exercising their political rights at a time when we seek to vindicate ours. I feel it, but I think it is a bad idea.

  22. Umm, Lee? You know that there are countries that have legislated to allow gay marriage, right? And Connecticut voters have overwhelmingly indicated that they have no interest in overturning gay marriage there. Massachusetts bigots tried to get gay marriage ended there and the voters just weren’t buying it. You realize that in the years between votes on this issue in California the “no” gay marriage side has lost millions of voters and will, within the next 10 years, vote to overturn Prop. 8, right?

    We are going to win this battle. Sooner, rather than later, gay marriage will be legal in this country and it won’t even be a thought after this. Lee, my friend, you’re on the losing side of history, as bigotry always is.

    And, I might add, blacks don’t have a monopoly on civil rights. The concept of “civil rights” predates the “Civil Rights Movement” (see how the capitalization works?). Whether blacks believe that this is a civil right or not doesn’t make it so. And, I might add, they’re wrong. Separate but equal was a civil rights issue for blacks, just like it is for gays. Whether some in the African American community doesn’t like that comparison is irrelevant.

  26. Fuckl you gay mafia pricks. You don’t speak for me, and if i was the guy, and you tresspassed, I’d be on you with pepper spray or worse out of fear of violence on your part.

    This is stupid stupid stupid. Think up a better way that just being intimidating pricks in order to make your point.

    Fuck you gay mafia.

    I hope for gods sake that Dan opposes this move.

  27. I want to say that there’s more than one Lee on trolling this blog, soooo if ever I sign my name without a clever moniker to differentiate myself, please don’t think I’m the misinformed douche on the wrong side of history @18.

  30. @26, Fuckl you troll mafia pricks. You don’t speak for me, and if i was the guy, and you tresspassed, I’d be on you with pepper spray or worse out of fear of violence on your part.

    This is stupid stupid stupid. Think up a better way that just being intimidating pricks in order to make your point.

    Fuck you troll mafia.

    I hope for gods sake that Ecce opposes this move.

  32. Go after the businesses for which they work. No business wants to be associated with bigotry, at least not publicly. This bigot works for Thermo-King Northwest, a refrigeration manufacturer for mostly trucks and such. Boycott Thermo-King. Have protest marches and carry a big sign reading “THERMO KING SUPPORTS BIGOTRY”. How long do you think Mr Pugh will work there?

  33. Lee@18 said:

    “You already HAVE all the rights that everyone else has.”

    Really? So when a gay person’s partner is ill in the hospital and they are not married and get denied visitation rights, is that the SAME as a married couple where visitation rights AUTOMATICALLY are granted to the spouse?

    And when a gay person’s partner dies does the surviving partner automatically benefit for estates as do the spouses of MARRIED people?

    You are an idiot who opens his mouth without having a clue what you are talking about.

  38. Why, I’m gonna go right down to The Termo King and give ’em all my business. I’m gonna spend my hard-earned dollars there. That’s what I’m gonna do, just to make a point. The Thermo King global dealer network offers the highest quality engines, compressors, starters, alternators, air filters, oil filters, belts, controllers, and skins. In addition, the Thermo King dealer network offers a full line of accessories for the truck, trailer, and transport refrigeration systems. Now, I don’t have a semi-truck, trailer or transport refrigeration system, but dadgummit, I’m gonna buy some semi-truck supplies just to give ’em my business. THAT will put those homosexuals in their places.

  39. This bullshit obsequious “be-nice-to-the-bigots” backlash has GOT to stop. I’m not protesting because I want to change the mind of some despicable mormon who spent more than I make in a year on a campaign that has stolen my civil rights from me. I’m protesting to show the world that when the majority steals rights from the minority, that minority will not go down without a FIGHT. It’s not about violence or white powder or arson; it’s about righteous anger in the face of injustice. And Mr. $50K has it coming in spades.

  40. This seems to be more about the “soft” right of marriage, as opposed to the “hard” rights of hospital visitation, inheritance, insurance, etc. afforded by Civil Unions.

    If I’m not mistaken, the LDS Church has said that it has no problems with making sure that Civil Unions provide all the same rights and privileges as marriages currently do.

    In fact, I think California still has full-privilege civil unions for gay and lesbian couples, even though the term “marriage” has been stripped away.

    So, and I’m honestly curious, is this whole to-do just about the term marriage and its social conventions?

  41. No, California does not have “full privilege” Civil Unions. The federal government does not recognize gay marriage/civil unions (due to the Defense Of Marriage Act), regardless of state recognition. That means they can’t file joint federal tax returns, they can’t collect social security survivor benefits if/when their partner dies, etc.

    So this “to-do” is not just about the term marriage. Over the yearas a whole plethora of presumed rights have been associated with marriage. Those are what is being denied.

  42. I just died a little inside when I read this post. You say that “Mormons” are “intolerant”, ignoring the participation of many other religious organizations and voice of the majority of Americans, but how tolerant is the gay movement for protesting and opposing others’ rights to freedom of expression via their right to vote?

    Sorry, homosexuality is not mainstream, and while I love and respect my friends’ decisions to be gay, I do not support changing the structure of marriage, which has been a building block of society for millenia.

    Shall I provide my address for a protest outside my house? How quickly can you organize? Incidentally, in case I hadn’t made myself perfectly clear, I am disgusted by this page and all the drama right now over Prop 8.

  43. Am I mistaking, or does the fact that the federal government doesn’t recognize same-sex marriage have no bearing on California’s decision? In other words, I was under the impression that it didn’t matter if Caifornia granted same-sex marriages or not. Either way, the federal government still wouldn’t recognize gay marriages. Maybe all this time/energy/money should be directed at gaining federal rights in addition to the rights already gained in CA through a domestic partnership.

  44. I appreciate that people out there are angry… but this DOES NOT help. At all. Not even a little bit.

    While it may make the handful of you participating in this “protest” feel better, it doesn’t help those of us who have been working on this issue get anything accomplished.

    In fact, it makes our work even harder. And it gives bad publicity that turns off the generally uneducated folks out there that we’re trying to move to our side. You know, the undecided folks in the middle, who we need to appeal to rationally?

    Besides, it is not illegal, unethical, or even immoral for an individual to put his money where his beliefs are — even if you disagree with him! How is this any less offensive than when the “G-d hates fags” idiots come and protest funerals?

  45. and one other nota bene: I know the gentleman to whom this post refers (most of us, his neighbors, do). He is actually serving a mission for his church, and no longer lives here. He still owns the home, but if protesters show up tonight, he won’t get the chance to say hello, as he and his family are not living here. Nice try but, again, a little too much passion and a little too little due diligence.

  47. It’s hard to believe how bigoted the so called “gay” community is. I don’t think you are very gay at all. Sounds like you many of you are full of hate, not love, to me.

  49. I am all about free speech and voting your conscience- but when people (no on 8) have no tolerance for people who have differing ideas and values and start to harrass and bother and hurt others- isn’t that a bit or should I say ALOT intolerate!!!!! This is a scary place when you cannot vote your conscience- you can get hurt, loose your job, and your privacy taken away! It was voted on- some of us did not get the pres. we wanted, get on with your lives! Heidi Park

  50. We all have the same rights- I can wed a woman just like you can wed a woman. But can I wed a man? No- and nor can you. It is all fair. What is next- the civil right to wed a monkey? Give me a break!

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