Local Celebrity Dead: Notorious Capitol Hill icon Slats, known for his tall, skinny frame, super-pegged black pants, and 80’s metal hair, died this afternoon last Saturday after a long hospital stay.
The Eggers Are Back At It: Yes, egging IS vandalism, according to Seattle Police. And the notorious egg attacks have begun again in West Seattle.
Jail-Site Fight: The planning process for a new municipal-misdemeanor jail in West Seattle has been delayed at least four years.
Woman Found Dead: Early morning joggers found a mother of two dead on a quiet residential street in Wedgwood Friday at 6:30 a.m., five blocks north of Wedgwood Elementary School.
The Cupboard is Bare: Food bank North Helpline desperately needs donations; food bank use is up over 37 percent this year.
Herpes-Affected Zoo: Animal rights advocates are calling for the retirement of herp-infected elephants at the Woodland Park Zoo.
Noble Pirates Return Irish Artifact Stolen By Clown: The missing 151-year-old shillelagh snatched from the Society of Friends of Saint Patrick was returned by Seafair Pirates on Friday night.
Didn’t Slats pass away on Saturday?
Check your dates, the Slats post is from the 13th.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH I’M IN A TIME MACHINE WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH
Seriously, how many UNPAID INTERNs are there? You guys go through them like so many stale fig newtons.
Great column, tho.
Sorry Erika. Maybe we should make our timestamps bigger. I’m trying to decide whether to post on our site or not but it’s incredible to see people from around the world who searched for news about Slats and ended up on our site http://twitpic.com/19860m World famous Slats
I looked out the window and seen his bald head
I ran to the fridge and pulled out an egg
Scoped him with my scopes he had no hair
Launched that shot and he was caught out there
Saw the convertible driving by
Loaded up the slingshot and let one fly
He went for his to find he didn’t have one
Put him in check correct with my egg gun
The egg a symbol of life
Go inside your house and bust out your wife
Pulled out the jammy he thought it was a joke
The trigger I pulled his face the yoke
Reached in his pocket took all his cash
Left my man standing with an egg moustache
Suckers they come a dime a dozen
And when I say dozen you know what I’m talking about boyee
Yeh, that’s right, I’m the Egg Man
Driving Around, King of the town
Always got my windows rolled down
You know, I’m the Egg Man
Once upon a time
Humpty Dumpty was a big fat egg
He was playing the wall and then he broke his leg
Tossed it out the window three minutes hot
Hit the Rastaman he said bloodclot
Which came first the chicken or the egg
I egged the chicken then I ate his leg
Riding the trains in between cars
When I pull out the station you’re gonna get yours
Drive by eggings plaguing L.A.
Yo they just got my little cousin ese
Sometimes hard boiled sometimes runny
It comes from a chicken not a bunny dummy
People laugh it’s no joke
My name’s Yauch and I’m throwing the yoke
Now they got me in a cell but I don’t care
It was then that I caught catching people out there
Up on the roof, in my car
Up all night, I’m pulling through signs like Dolomite
The mack, I’m the Egg Man
Taxi Driver, I’m the Egg Man
We all dressed in black we snuck up around the back
We began to attack the eggs did crack on Haze’s back
Sam I am down with the program
Green eggs and ham Yosemite Sam
Come Halloween you know I come strapped
I throw it at a sucker K-pap
You made the mistake you judge a man by his race
You go through life with egg on your face
You woke up in the morning with a peculiar feeling
You looked up and saw egg dripping from the ceiling
Families puck rocks the businessman
I’ll dog anybody with an egg in my hand
Not like the crack that you put in a pipe
But crack on your forehead here’s a towel now wipe
What’d he die of? I always kind of figured him and his (I think now deceased) girlfriend either had HIV or HepC, but it was kind of hard to tell.
Wasn’t he in Jane’s Addiction?
Zoos suck ass.
Second week in a row with nothing from the RVP? Tsk Tsk. Who cares what’s north of I-90?
Woman Found Dead by joggers. This is precisely why I’ll never take up jogging or hiking. You’ll never hear of a body being found by cross stitchers or at-home-palates-ers.