Geekologie has a post up tossing us toward the Belt Sword, a sword you can hide in your belt. The website describes it as “World’s First – Massive Sword – Hidden in Pants Belt.” Hopefully, this will take off like gangbusters and become a nationwide craze, like a lethal Snuggie. There are many videos of a topless girl, pictured at left, demonstrating the Belt Sword (which is alternately called the RazorSword). Because you’re never naked with a Belt Sword! …Never!
My favorite part of all this is the comments on the Geekologie blog, especially these two:
The deployment #2 video clearly reveals a nipple, and once you get an eye for what her nipple shape is and where it’s located, you can clearly find it in #1 as well.
So it’s not a total loss, although I would have assumed that the bare MINIMUM effort in a “lets hide a boob but not try to look like we’re hiding a boob” arena would involve using fake hair a similar color to the models real hair. I actually didn’t even notice the hair color was wrong until about the 3rd watching…I was focused on trying to find the nipple. hah!
and
I can tell you from experience that whipping around a flexiple strip of steel, sharp or not, is a fast road to losing an ear. I hope this “company” has good lawyers, I’m thinking about suing just for mental anguish.
The nipple or the crazy-dangerous weapon? This is the eternal internet question.
thank you–i was wondering what the eternal internet question was
You can’t cut your ear off if you’re wearing a well-fitting steel colander on your head. Or a football helmet, but that would look dorky.
If Mudede posts something about comic books today I am going to TOTALLY. FREAK. OUT.
@2: Well, thanks a lot Fnarf. I wore a steel collander like you said, but then sliced off my nipple. You’ll be hearing from my attorney.
For fuck’s sake, this feels like an outtake from Napoleon Dynamite.
Lee, that’s what duct tape is for.
Wearing a Snuggie, I can stay warm AND deploy my belt sword without having to mess with any confusing blankets.
First of all, topless models are a terrible way to demo your product. I had to watch the video 5 times before I even looked at the stupid sword.
Secondly, I think I’d probably end up cutting my dick off sooner than I’d hurt an attacker with that thing.
Cookie@3 beat me to the PC:comics::Charles:titties reference.
“Never Be Naked Again!” makes me think of “Never Nude”… oh, Tobias.
But T-Bone, surely you’d win any fight in which you sliced your dick off and flung it with the tip of the blade onto your opponent’s face. He wouldn’t stop running until the Canadian border.
This is like an anime weapon. I expect this will be popular at Sakuracon.
some misunderstood loner with a sweet personality and a quirky obsession with history is going to waggle one of these swords in front of the seattle police and get himself four rounds in the chest for it. his friends will say it was a tragedy and they never imagined such a horrible thing would happen to their dear little monkey with the funny hobbies
@13: Which reminds me. Yesterday my friend’s four-year-old spent the day and saw my issue of “Skeptic” magazine with Hitler on the cover. “Who’s that?” he said. I tried to explain.
I predict they’ll be marketing a bronze bikini next–“Tired of losing nipples in battle? Sick of unscheduled muff trimming when you draw your blade? NOW, for only 3 easy payment of $19.99! Brass Brassieres & Melee Lingerie will end unfortunate battle related nicks and cuts forever!”
Sigh.
Duct tape won’t save you.
Is it just my nostalgia, or did SLOG comment threads used to be all more like this one — with more fun and less stupidity than your typical modern-day SLOG thread? Back in the old days, life was really great. Pie crusts were made with Crisco, too.
According to my Crisco wristwatch, posting back-in-the-day comments means you’re old, Eric.
I kinda like it. The half-real/half-13-year-old-boys-getting-their-first-erections thing sorta moved me.
Porn is much easier to access, but where’s the thrill? Sometimes you need some chick who’s oblivious to what she’s peddling, but knows she’s got a bod that teenage boys are jacking off to, to make a poignant statement.
We all tend to remember the past more fondly than we felt at the time.
But there did use to be a lot fewer neocons on here.
Is it wrong that I want one? The beltsword, I mean, not the topless model. Not that I’d turn that down, either.
A lot of Eskrima martial artists that have purchased the BeltSword Weapon System. It is also currently being tested by US Special Operation – Combined Security Transition Command –Afghanistan. To the individual that believes you will cut your ear off – my first response is that many swords used in actual battle were not very sharp – actually dull. Most sword deaths occurred from blunt force trauma and or penetration. In the case of Eskrima stick fighting – I have witnessed a young thin 17 year old female Pilipino that could kill a 200+ pound man with a stick in a split second – one can only imagine what 24 to 33 inches of solid steel (1095 high carbon steel with an HRC 55-57) will do. We have found the RazorSword to be more than lethal with a dull rounded edge. (So even a computer geek might be ok) A razor sharp RazorSword (I must admit) makes me take pause with respect – even a light touch will cut you to the bone – a full power Eskrima strike with proper body mechanics will sever a limb. If you understand that killing is also a profession; then the BeltSword Weapon System is just another covert tool to accomplish a task and allow you to survive. We are now laminating several blades together with molecular adhesion – now we have some heavy weight and super heavy weight RazorSwords that are equal in weight to full size battle ready swords – except ours are total hidden and near impossible to find. Basically we have invented an invisible weapon – because your target will never see it coming.
Respectfully, Curtis W. Koehler http://www.razorrazor.com