People of the universe, this will soon be yours…
…an iHeart.
Scientists say they have a working prototype of a fully artificial heart ready for implanting in humans.
The device beats almost exactly like the real thing using electronic sensors to regulate heart rate and blood flow.
A plus:
The new heart is covered with specially treated tissue to avoid rejection by the body’s immune system and the formation of blood clots.
A minus:
[A battery could last] for between five and 16 hours after which it would have to be recharged to prevent the artificial heart stopping.
Dead battery means dead you.
Suppose you could charge the battery by doing healthy things like walking and waving your arms wildly. That would be truly awesome!
Charging every 5 to 16 hours seems like a great deal of frightening maintenance.
Sasha’s on to something, they should use those watch batteries that charge just by normal movement.
Charging every 5 to 16 hours seems like a great deal of frightening maintenance.
The earliest Iron Man comics bear this out.
Oddly enough, the iHeart is only being bought by art directors and costs 10 times what a similar but more functional heart does, one that has a longer battery life and runs linux.
HOORAY! I’m going to live forever!
In most cases, walking and waving arms would prevent the need for an artificial heart in the first place.
Now we just need an artificial brain for Bailo.
#7: Wow! Great rebuff! I’m cringing in comedy terror…your rapier wit is no match for mine, I’m building a comedy bomb shelter and hiding from you!
Can I get one made of stone?
@3:
That’s obviously why they need to include the Stark Industries brand retractable plug – or, I guess nowadays a USB 2 cable.
can’t they just rig up a solar panel on my hat?
SOLAR POWR DONT WORK IN SEATLE!!! Move to warm, sunny, pro-American part of country. texas, maybe?
@11 then how would you power your sex machine?
We’re also working on artificially grown livers and kidneys too.
But don’t drink yourself to death in anticipation, the clinical trials will take many years once we figure it out.
and @12 there’s plenty of solar power usage in Seattle. Even on bad days we get 70 to 80 percent solar radiation.
@2 – I dunno, that’s Charles’s beat off frequency, and he seems to be doing fine.
@14 and i’m sure you’re elbow deep in the research to use the word ‘we’ instead of ‘researchers’ or ‘scientists’. just ’cause, you know, you’re the fucking expert of everything, aren’t you, you fucking douche.
@17 – I’ve sat in on something like twenty seminars on the underpinnings of this and one of my PIs is a cardiac surgeon, idiot.
Yeah, I said we.
Now, go get a life, cause your anonymous whinings are really annoying to real people.
And the winner is…
tabletop_joe @6!
@18 yup, i’m SURE you did. you probably pioneered the field! just like every other subject that you spout off about. why, you must have a phd in EVERYTHING! hell, just call yerself ‘superwill in seattle’ and be done with it.
as to me being annoying, pot meet kettle. DBK & PC are amusing because they’re psychotic. you just go ‘me too! me too! look how amazing and smart i am!’ and then you get yer ass handed too you by the rest of slog for being an idiot. you’re still a fucking douche.