Last week, “Chastity,” 27, was tired of her temporary porn work and hoping for a call back from the U.S. Census Bureau. This week she’s hoping for karmic retribution against a petty criminal and stressing as the vise of unemployment tightens.
To the doucheface who stole my wallet on Friday evening: I don’t care how goddamn poor you are, in no circumstance is it ok to steal from someone else. You fucker. I have $116.13 in my bank account. That’s all I’ve got left. That’s it. Unemployment insurance has stopped coming, and I’m so petrified that I really am going to end up in a cardboard box, and you, you fuckwad, you think that my credit card and debit cards are free money?? I am not expecting that SPD will catch your thieving ass, so instead I wish for karmic retribution: may you get into a horrible accident, leaving you so maimed and hideous that small children will point and cry when they see you, and you’ll never get laid again.
Whew. I feel better.
It’s been a shitty few days. I went to the opera (on a free ticket!) with a friend on Friday night, and when I got there couldn’t find my wallet. I’m spacey enough that I thought maybe I’d left it on my dining room table, or in a pocket. Later that night, I did the obsessive-compulsive loop, searching my car and my house over and over again. Only when B of A called me to report multiple “suspicious transactions” did I realize that it had been stolen. Fuccccckkkk.
The algorithms that they use for fraud detection are good, and apparently B of A’s computers thought that multiple gas purchases across the city were a sign that my card had been hijacked. (Hello, CapOne? WaMu? Where was the courtesy call from you asswipes telling me that similar activity had occurred? What, were you going to wait and charge me over-limit fees first??) Fortunately, I’m not liable for anything after Friday afternoon, but it’ll be a while before any of my accounts are active again.
As if this wasn’t enough, on Saturday I got mail from the unemployment insurance folks: they’ve denied my claim to pay me while I’m in school. They have no record of receiving the envelope of 30 pages of documentation that I sent them at their request. (Ugh, I should have sent it with a signature receipt required.) Now I have until the end of the week to appeal. At least I photocopied the entire mess.
Since starting to blog for The Stranger, I have tried very hard not to be too pessimistic, or too fatalistic. We all hear enough bad news every day, and I felt that contributing something constructive to the dialogue was the least I could do. But this week, I feel so battered. I’m at the point where I am seriously considering food stamps, especially as I have no idea when or if I’ll see any money from unemployment insurance again. I’ve been slowly working my way through my cupboard, eating the food I have left. My main source of protein these days are eggs or tofu, and I’m eating a lot of noodles. The hardest loss has been that I’ve stopped drinking coffee. Coffee is my daily ritual that makes me feel like I’m a civilized human being, and my irritation and anxiety at caffeine withdrawal just underscores the feeling of destitution. My sister took me out to Oddfellows over the weekend, and it was so nice to feel semi-normal for a couple of hours.
Not everything is bad. I did have an interview last week for a writing gig. It went well, and I’ll hear this week about whether they would like to proceed. I’ve also gotten a request from a friend to help her update her website, and she’s willing to pay me. Sadly, there won’t be any porn for a while: R has told me that he doesn’t really have any shoots coming up, as he’s still wading through a backlog of footage. My regular writing is cathartic, and it gives my day a sense of rhythm and purpose, though it doesn’t put me ahead at all financially.
Still, panic and desperation lead me to evaluate anything that can be sold, whatever will turn some cash. I live a fairly frugal life as it is, and there isn’t much for me to put up. I have no TV, no cable, no subscriptions; my cell and my internet are essential utilities as far as I’m concerned. My only real asset (ha) is my car. I’m ready to cry uncle and attempt to sell it. If I can’t do that, I’ll give it away to charity. My tabs are due soon, and I highly doubt that the car will pass its emissions test. Even if I had $1000 to put into the engine, that wouldn’t take care of the oil leaks, the muffler, the pair of faulty CV joints, the dead radio, the broken seatbelt. The car is well-loved, and at 200,000 miles I can’t complain, but it’s not exactly worth much. If I could get anything, maybe it would be enough for me to buy a second-hand bike that fits me, a new helmet, waterproof saddlebags. I’m not holding my breath.
This—the gradual narrowing of options that impending poverty forces—this infuriates me. At each turn, I must suck in my gut a little more, say no to even more of the small comforts, nevermind not having health insurance, or fears about missing my rent check. Once my car is gone, it will be much more difficult for me to volunteer in the mountains, one of the few things that genuinely makes me *feel* better. What am I going to be forced to give up next? It is a struggle to hang on to my sense of dignity, pride, and patient good humor; more and more I feel like I am unemployable, that this is my fault, that I’m somehow damaged goods. What frightens me most is that there is still room yet to fall.
Have an unemployment story to share? Write to jobless@thestranger.com.
Photo by Kelly O
Chastity, go get on food stamps right now. Seriously. There’s no shame in using them. I had them when I was unemployed (and not getting UI benefits because I was going to school at night and obviously that means I can’t job-hunt and interview during the day, WHATEVER UNEMPLOYMENT) and they seriously saved my ass. Get online and fill out the application form, check the stupid little box that indicates it’s an urgent matter, and they’ll get you in for an appointment in a matter of days. And at the end of your appointment, you’ll most likely have an EBT card you can use that night for groceries.
Seriously, do it. It’s a really simple, painless process, and it’ll ease at least one of your burdens.
Good luck!
You know, you’ve posted that picture probably a half dozen times now – and this is the first time I’ve noticed that there’s a person holding that magazine. Damn distracting boobies…
You have a DINING ROOM TABLE!?!?! OMG, you wasteful idiot!!
In all seriousness, I agree with #1. Get on the food stamps….one less thing to worry about, and you shouldn’t be starving yourself.
So glad someone already commented–sign up for food stamps. Do it. Right now–you can complete the application online.
The food stamp program is funded by the amount of need shown. When people who need help buying food (YOU!) don’t sign up, the budget is cut. It’s also tremendously helpful on a policy level for a program to show success–people who received benefits as a bridge and discontinued them after moving into a better situation.
Sign up for food stamps. Sign up for basic health. Call 211 and ask about any car repair programs (they exist).
I work at a food bank, with lots of fantastic donated food. We’re right by REI, open the last two Fridays of each month from 930-1100. I am privileged to work with an amazing, positive, awesome group of volunteers who make the experience pretty great for our customers. Come on down! Immanuel Community Services.
There are also Food Not Bombs food banks all over the city. Anarchists and hippies and old folks dumpster diving to get great organic food to people who need it. Plug in.
Here’s a link for food stamp (rebranded as Basic Food) application:
http://foodhelp.wa.gov/index.htm
jeez, it sounds like you have a valuable ass et that’s being overlooked. If you have the willingness to do porn it’s inferrable that you would not have any moral impediments to finding yourself a sugardaddy…
There’s plenty of demand.
@6,
She’s not a performer, she’s a production assistant.
The flaw in the story is the idea that Bank of America(!) would have notified a cardholder with so little in their account (and no income) of suspicious activity, instead of merely charging an overdraft fee on each purchase.
These NftUL stories are really good journalism- no sarcasm intended. Both Chastity and Lissa are great writers, and I look forward to every installment. Though I keep hoping the next one will have good news…
The slow but steady closing of your options is something I can really relate to. May you get a lucky break this week, dear. You need it.
Get on Basic Food today. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
Also: Food banks. There are lots of them, and the people who volunteer at them are very nice. Again, there’s no shame in it; they are there for you and people in situations like yours. Please go.
If you need help with anything, call 211. It’s a community resource line.
I’ve been through this myself. It’s hard to not feel like you you’re becoming, I don’t know, marginalized? Like you’re not allowed in regular society anymore. Anyway–ignore that if that’s what’s happening to you. You’re not defunct, you’re just broke.
For fuck’s sake–the idea that I’m paying my taxes to fund food stamps and she’s not signing up for them? Sign up immediately and go eat ASAP–hungry people make desperate choices that do none of us any good.
chastity (and sven and lissa and that nice fella who used to work for WAMU), please do come to SLOG happy tomorrow night at the cafe metropolitain. there is free food, and i will stand each of you to the drink of your choice.
What movie was it that said “why does a dame need money, when she’s got a pot of gold between her legs”?
Try looking at the FreeCycleSeattle site, Chas — I often see pretty decent bikes listed there (they go fast, though, so keep an eye out!). You could probably score a good used bike there for FREE. Can’t beat that price!
Hang in there!
Whine whine whine oh, I need food and shelter, wha! Cut out the luxurious things like tables and oxygen! The sense of entitlement disgusts me.
No, seriously. Your writing is fan-freaking-tastic. I hope to hear from you more, just not in this column. Good luck!
I second Scary. I’ll buy a drink for any of these contributors who show up tomorrow.
@16
I second that! I love reading Chastity’s writing.
Chastity, of all the pain I know you’re feeling the lack of coffee – and the sense of ritual it gives you – is the part that breaks my heart. Is there some way to send you a gift coffee basket?!?
Chastity,
Seriously, unload the car and obtain a monthly bus pass. Way cheaper. Get rid of the cell phone and get a phone card at any store. Stock up on Ramen noodles and Mac n.’ Cheese. Use the public library for all your information resources (books, internet, heck even art). Sorry to hear about losing your wallet. But, at least recover your Drivers’ License and one credit card. This is in case you need to rent a car and show you’ve got credit. No indulging. Always, check out temporary employment. It could lead to permanent employment. If you can, cohabit. It’s cheaper. If you need clothing checkout Crossroads. They sell cheap used clothes, shoes and accessories. Also, some happy hours provide free food. You could nurse a wine, soda or beer and get a meal. I’ve been there and done it.
Is it true? Do my eyes deceive me? People on slog are being nice?
Most of the regular sloggers ARE nice, even the ones who don’t get along…it’s the asshole, never use the same name twice, recent arrivals who are Evil Stupidity Incarnate…
@20: Ramen and mac and cheese are precisely NOT what someone without health insurance should be eating.
Something I’ve never understood is telling people who are in danger of depression and/or a weakened immune system to start skimping on nutrition. It’s actually one of the worst pieces of advice I’ve ever heard.
@ 20 — Monthly bus passes are about 80 bucks or so? Her car couldn’t get her more than about half a year of bus passes. And relying on Metro to get to potential interviews on time to make a good impression? Depends where she lives.
That being said, as soon as my car goes belly up (soon, real soon) I’ll be in the market for another old POS.
#23
You’re right. The college student diet isn’t good for adult job seekers AT ALL because interveiwers can smell the desperation and they hate it like they hate death. Get produce, get coffee, get laundry soap, or you will be unemployable based on your demeanor alone.
@24,
Also, if she wants to expand her job search to the suburbs, she has to have a car. Just try getting to a 1 p.m. interview in Tukwila by bus. It can’t be done.
The feeling of being unemployable is the worst part. I’m at 6 months unemployed, have less than Chastity in my bank account, and feeling really depressed. I had an interview yesterday, but I’m not sure I could take the job if offered due to transportation issues. And that’s for about half the money of my pre-recession job.
*sigh*
But it’s not the ramen and PBJ that get to me, it’s feeling like nobody wants you. Fortunately, the gf’s been very supportive, but it’s the professional equivalent of not being able to get a date. 🙁
Ugh, Chastity and @1 are making me feel sick to my stomach. My contract is about to be up sometime over the next month and a half. I’m currently enrolled at WSU taking online courses while I work full time… I figured getting unemployment wouldn’t be an issue because the classes are online and my schoolwork can be done whenever. Plus I have been working FT while in school and will still be available to work FT. If I can’t get unemployment I don’t know what I’ll do. That’s complete bullshit.
@23 Too true.
You can spend very little on bulk dry beans/lentils and rice (the good stuff). I have stretched $5 of food over the course of a week or two and felt healthier than I have in a long time.
Buy a whole chicken for $4 from Safeway and learn how to properly and efficiently break it down (hooray youtube!). This’ll give you a lot of meat and so much stock (save any vegetable scraps you have – onion, carrot, celery tops) you’ll be wishing you had more freezer space.
Buy a cheap bag of Masa Harina (corn flour) and teach yourself how to make corn tortillas (just the flour and a small amount of water).
A few pennies worth of flour, salt, yeast, and water will make amazing fresh, crusty bread that people shell out $8 for at the farmer’s market – try a no-knead recipe and quadruple it so you have dough to last a couple weeks.
With these few ingredients and the most basic spices/herbs, you are totally set. Do as others suggested and supplement this with some produce from food banks such as Food Not Bombs or go for some food stamps.
Being unemployed has completely revolutionized the way I eat and I wouldn’t go back and skip this otherwise horrible period of my life if I had the chance. Incredibly valuable lessons…
Best of luck and hang in there.
Damnit, girl! Splurge on the f-ing coffee. At one cup a day, a container should last you over a month. You are scrimping on everything else, plus you are under a lot of stress – no one is going to blame you for having some coffee!
Have you not read the previous unemployment threads? If she admits to still having electricity in her home some jackass will turn up to tell her what a spendthrift she is.
A breatharian is someone who gets all of their nourishment from air and light(love).
Just curious: how does the unemployment office find out that people are going to school? Is it on the honor system? Do they occasionally audit unemployment recipients by checking tax returns?
So sorry that things are so crappy right now.
UI is great if you can get it. But oh, they make things difficult.
Lately, getting a writing gig is hard, but getting a paycheck is even harder. A few of my freelance clients are teetering on the edge of bankruptcy themselves, and their AP people are sick of hearing from me.
Another tip: The Grocery Outlet (aka “gross out”) offers a few treasures amongst the aisles of Technicolored cereal. One of them is coffee. You can get 2 lbs. of tasty Brazilian beans for 4.95. (The brand I’m thinking of comes in a burlap sack and is an overstock from Costco’s Christmas merchandise.) That’s an awful lot of coffee.
And the wine can be OK too.
i too would be more than willing to get you, “chastity,” some coffee. despite the fact that i’m also on unemployment, i just found out some good news via my paternal unit about some ‘unclaimed property’ (dividends from some stock of my long-dead grandpaternal unit) which might keep me afloat for a bit through this rec-/depr-ession/whateverthefuckitis.
truly though, i’m down for getting you some coffee, if the slog folks will put you in contact with me.
oh and EVERYONE should go check out the washington state unclaimed property site: http://ucp.dor.wa.gov/ — i put in my mom’s last name and found out a 2nd cousin i haven’t seen in a few decades still has a city light account deposit sitting there waiting for him to claim it back – you never know when there might be some $$$ out there waiting for you…
Here’s an idea I tried that seems to work.
Put money in savings and let it sit there and gather interest. Even just a little every two weeks is a help.
Car pool. Seriously, there’s got to be plenty of folks with cars but no money for gas…and they may be traveling to the same job fairs as you.
p.s. I don’t know if this is helpful with the coffee situation, but back during WWII my mother recalls that everything, sugar, coffee, flour, etc was rationed. My grandmother had to make a birthday cake and there weren’t enough tokens for sugar in her ration book for a cake. She and her female relatives pooled their tokens and were able to get enough sugar for the cake. If you’re desperate for coffee and other “luxuries” maybe you can find some other poor, desperate souls to go in with for your coffee. You don’t have enough for a whole can, but you might have enough for a half or quarter of a can. I’m doing this with my Costco purchases. The bulk sizes cost half price of the grocery store but the quantity is too much for 1-2 people.
good luck Chastity…and so great to see an unemployment thread not totally derailed by the drive-by idjuts.
@8 Wrong! I have had BofA lock up my card for any of what they call ‘suspicous activity’ and it doesn’t take much! They really do pay attention to where you spend it. Of course at the time it really pissed me off to no end (once locked up 3 times in one weekend).