Hillary Clinton searches for whoever recommended that she take the stage wearing a burlap sack so she can have them executed.
Hillary Clinton searches for whoever recommended that she take the stage wearing a burlap sack so she can have them executed. Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock.com

What’s this? Grown-ups having a civil discussion about the future of the country? An acknowledgment of actual pressing issues of the day and treating their audience with respect? Democrats held some sort of strange ritual last night, drawing a coven of three figures into a circle to cast a spell on the American people, and it was surprisingly smart.

Obama’s State of the Union seems to have had a civilizing effect on the Democratic side of the race, and last night’s debate was, believe it or not, fairly watchable, particularly when compared to the snarl of the Republican events.

Hillary Clinton was there to advocate for building on the progress of the Obama administration; Bernie Sanders was there to represent honest politics; and Martin O’Malley was there to remind us that if this race was an animated film, he would be a small rabbit with large eyes and no speaking lines.

So who wore the debate best? Depends on whom you ask.

“Last Night’s Debate Was All About Bernie Sanders,” wrote Meet the Press afterwards. “Hillary Clinton Won Again,” says Slate. “23 Celebrities With Gorgeous Non-Celeb Relatives,” writes MTV News. Good job, guys.

Slate liked Hillary’s strong position on guns (“Ninety people a day die from gun violence in this country,” she said) and her attacks on Bernie’s gun record. She brought up “systemic racism.” Hillary also opened a strong line of attack with the message that Bernie’s health-care plan would change Obamacare too much, essentially restarting the health-care debate.

Bernie, for his part, got in a few good digs at Wall Street, and pranced around a newly unveiled health-care plan <a href=”
http://www.vox.com/2016/1/17/10784528/bernie-sanders-single-payer-health-care”>that some analysts are saying is actually not great. He also pointed out that Hillary’s gotten some huge payouts from big banks, so they’re calling at least some of her shots.

We have two-ish weeks to go before the Iowa caucuses, and then New Hampshire. I wouldn’t be surprised if Bernie is able to win at least one of those races, but it’s hard to see a victory for him after that. Hillary’s polling at 69 percent in South Carolina, Bernie at 28 percent. In Nevada, Clinton’s at 50 percent, Bernie’s at 30 percent.

It’s becoming crystal clear how Hillary and Bernie differ: She keeps bringing it back to continuing the progress of the last eight years, and he keeps bringing it back to honest politics. And that sounds nice, but do Americans actually want honest politics? Or for that matter, even believe that such a thing is possible?

I love seeing Bernie up on stage, talking about our obviously horrible system of the super-rich sponsoring our political leaders. But I’m skeptical that any normal humans heard what he had to say during a debate held on the Sunday night of a three-day weekend. They’re too busy reading about 23 celebrities with gorgeous non-celeb relatives.

Matt Baume covered geek culture, queer news, and city infrastructure, and would leap at the flimsiest of excuses to write about furries. A writer, podcaster, and videomaker, he resides on Capitol Hill...