This seems ridiculous, I know, but it’s worth it. You will need: (1) a pillow, and (2) a freezer. Take your pillow and put it into the freezer. After a while, remove the pillow from the freezer and then hug it for the best minute of your night. Any other suggestions?

38 replies on “One-Minute Miracle”

  1. Keep your hair wet. Just stick your head under a cold shower, and dab off with a towel. It’s not sexy, but seems to help me out.

  3. @2 – That’s great, but there don’t seem to be any fans for sale remaining in the city of Seattle. QFC, Fred Meyer, Home Depot, Office Depot, Lowes, even Northgate – all sold out.

  4. @3 – 500 fans available Friday 8am at Maple Leaf Ace Hardware – 90th NE and Roosevelt Way NE.

    Block of ice, fan, and a turkey pan. Put it at the foot of the bed.

  5. Does everyone sell their damn fans in October each year? Why are all the stores sold out whenever we get a heat wave? Did the entire population of Seattle move here from the Arctic since last summer? Just have a fan in your life.

    Ice is my hint. Ice on the back of your neck, insides of your wrists, wherever. Drink lots of room temp water. If you have a tub, fill it with cool water and submerge yourself. Not enough? Add ice. Don’t drink alcohol, it will only make things worse.

    I’m scared to leave our windows open tonight, after reading about that rape that happened on 12th and Olive. That shit is frightening.

  6. Buy a freaking air conditioner this fall when they go on sale. At least you will be sitting back and laughing at everyone next year. With global climate change every weather phenomenom is becoming more extreme. Hotter heat waves, larger wind and rain storms, colder winter snaps, ect… Might as well have a $100 a/c unit and a small heater in your home.

  9. @7: Only Army Rangers/Navy SEALS, the late Oscar Wilde, and occasionally NASA ever truly expect the unexpected; most normal people prepare for things they’ve experienced before, which, in case you haven’t been following the news, today’s HOTTEST DAY EVER for Seattle probably doesn’t include since, like, NOBODY has ever experienced temperatures this hot around here.

    New Hampshire also hit record high temps today, but I seriously doubt the trolls in Concord are kvetching about how nobody there is ever prepared for anything, either…

  11. @5 – Word. There are 5 fans in this house. We didn’t have to buy one at all. Although another box fan would be good… those are the best ones for pulling in cool air from outside after nightfall.

  12. Take your top sheet into the bathroom. Take a cold shower. Instead of drying off, wrap yourself in the sheet. Go back to bed and lay in front of the fan. When I was a kid in VA I could usually get through a whole night with only two or three of these.
    The palmetto bugs were a whole different problem.

  13. @10 I, too, am impressed by the current weather. It’s serious. I get it. But records get broken every summer. And every winter. That’s how records work.

    Blame Al Gore and his diabolical weather machine. I do.

    But if a record getting broke by a degree or two puts us into such uncharted territory of the human experience, that purchasing normal seasonal items before there’s a rush on the stores, if the foresight of the citizens extends no further than a single work week…

    Perhaps this is a city that maybe isn’t ready to be sitting on a fault line.

  14. @5 ‘Why are all the stores sold out of fans during a heatwave?’ (paraphrase)

    You just answered yer own question.

    We in MN are wondering why y’all have our weather and vice versa. We haven’t hit 90 in July, and will have a tough time hitting 80 this week (although we could use some rain, any rain…)

    Forgive me (trolls) for posting ‘non-Seattle’ shit.

  15. @6 I wouldn’t be too hasty to blame this on climate change. El Nino is in effect this year (and predicted to last through the winter into next year), which means it’s going to be warm and dry this (the prior drought of May-June, this heatwave, no snowpocalypse this year, California’s current cool and rainy weather, etc). Whether or not the strength and length of the cycle is affected by climate change is currently unknown, but the effects of El Nino (and La Nina last year, resulting in extra snowfall and snowpocalypse) are well known. But if you do have the option to get an air conditioner this fall at a decent price it’s not a bad idea. I’m planning to get one. But then I bought an AWD car after snowpocalypse and it looks like that’s not going to be necessary this winter, so if I do get an AC in the fall we can expect a cool, wet summer in 2010 :).

    Still haven’t gotten the power generator I promised myself after the wind storms of 2006, though. AC first, generator next, and I’ll be all set for anything short of an earthquake or volcanic eruption.

  16. Here’s another idea – put frozen bottles (plastic bottles of course) of water in bed with you. Just make sure they’ve got tight lids! Also good to do this for your pets (as long as said pet isn’t into chewing up plastic).

  17. Must have done this wrong, because all I got is a slightly masala-scented pillow. Which still is an improvement, but it would be nice to get more than three hours of sleep this week.

  19. I have a few plastic ‘blue ice’ re-freezable things… you know, plastic bottles with fluid sealed inside.

    When it’s getting a bit toasty, I’ll get one out of the freezer, wrap it in a washcloth and either keep it pressed somewhere where the blood vessels come close to the skin (inside wrist, back of the knee, side of the neck) for a bit, or just do spot work on whatever body part is feeling the toastiest at the moment. After half an hour it’s melted enough that it goes back in the freezer, and I get another one out if it feels necessary.

    Lot less messy and a lot more straightforward than going through actual ice. Probably can’t help much if you’re trying to sleep, though.

  22. parsnip: I don’t mean this to be snarky. but to experience what we’re dealing with turn off your AC and use only one fan. if possible, do this in a 4-floor brick apartment building that heats like an oven all day long, and then retains the heat all night long. then come back and tell us how it’s not that hot. we’re just not equipped for hot weather like this.

    as for staying cool… run a small cold water bath and sit in it for 5 minutes before you go to bed. then soak your tank top and undies in cold water. wring them out and put them on. go to bed. it’s how I’ve been managing to sleep reasonably well the last few nights.

  23. @23 I do mean to be snarky. But to experience what we’re dealing with imagine that in 75% of America we have a month of weather mainly over 95 degrees every summer, and over 90 degrees humidity. Imagine this in megacities with a hundred square miles of asphalt and millions of apartments. Now imagine there’s no lake washington and no puget sound to jump into. Now imagine that the asphalt retains the heat and raises the temperature even more.

    Now imagine one other thing, it might be hard. Imagine you’re outside all day in this weather, lifting things, or sweeping things, or cutting things, in other words, working, in a job that’s physical. Not a job at a cubicle, okay?
    Or imagine that you have to wear a coat and tie and go to work every day in a subway that’s over 100 degrees whenever the outside temperature is at least 80, which is like all summer. And you sweat through your suit coat. And you have no choice because this is a work rule to dress like that.

    Now imagine sweating all day long from start time at 6 am to quit time at 3 pm and again after work.

    Now imagine this: getting used to it so that you go outside and even play baseball or tennis or walk the dog and have BBQs. Because it’s natural and kind of nice to sweat and then have a soft drink or a rum cocktail.

    Then come back and tell us what an incredible bunch of wussies you are, especially after bragging how super close you are to nature when now you get a bid dose of it like the rest of us do every year, and all you do is bitch and moan about your uniquely difficult fate, instead of accepting and loving it.

    Because this is Gaia. Stifle a bit, learn to sweat and get into it.

    Change, it will do you good.

    Or STFU.

  24. We’ve been living in our basement, and enjoying it. It’s cool down there, and there’s a bedroom and a bar and juke box – even a stove, although I won’t go near it in this weather.

    But we fired up the A/C this morning in an effort to lessen the effect of the Blue Angels on the livestock.

  27. What’s wrong with everyone? Just lower the temperature setting on your thermostat so that your air conditioning kicks on when things heat up. Problem solved. Why the little lady and I actually snuggled up under a blanket to keep warm last night; my cooler must have kept the indoor temperature below 70 and with the ceiling fan whirling away it was downright chilly.

    What? You say you don’t have central air? Now that’s just a shame.

  31. Spritzer bottle! I grabbed the one i use to mist my plants to mist my friends with all afternoon. We poured a bit of water on the concrete of my little porch and splashed our feet in it all evening. Awe yeah, urban pool.

  32. …er, also? spritz the pillow cases before you freeze em. (it’s easier to fit them in there without the whole damn pillow inside, @30) and then they come out all crispy and frosty and stay cooler a bit longer…

  34. agree with #17. Get an ice pack or frozen water bottles and put them at your feet while you sleep. Pulls the photons right out of your body.

  36. @24

    Dear The Rest of the Nation:

    I’m sorry you’ve chosen to live in hell on earth – the wear it has trodden on your psyche is apparent in your tone.

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