Dream Girls strip club is all set for its grand opening on Monday, which is also opening day for the Seattle Mariners:

dream_girls.jpg
  • Peter Buck

To enjoy the schadenfreude of this photo, remember that the baseball team, um, mounted and blew several legal attempts to prevent the strip club from opening because it would have “adverse impacts repugnant to a family entertainment environment.” The most ludicrous legal action, by far, was a pair of lawsuits filed the Mariners and Safeco Field that insisted the strip club must be banned because it was too close to “parks.” Those “parks”? The pay-to-enter stadium, a padlocked parking lot, a sidewalk, and even an overpass. Really.

A reliable source says that, all along, the plan was to open the club by opening day, April 12, when the Mariners will play the Oakland A’s. There’s a press preview tomorrow, but the first day of business (a soft opening or a hard opening?) will be on Friday.

Another season with a prudish team of losers, here we come!

25 replies on “Opening Day!”

  1. Seriously. Titty bars – booze is fucking retarded. I couldn’t believe that was the rule when I moved there. Why would anyone ever go to a place like that?

  2. or “Leftfield lapdance lapidary….”
    or “OMG, it’s a Poon Run”
    or “RBI and TnA”
    or “the Catchers Hairy Mitt”
    or “Pitchers new mound”
    “the dugout”
    or “take me out to the labia field”
    “ground ball, literally”
    or “short stoppers delight”
    “check out the double play, bow chikka wow wow”
    or “spitballs of fury”
    “displaying the Pennant”
    or “sweet spot on my bat”

    o.k then….

  3. Fuck you Milton Bradley! Last play of the game, shot to left field, off the wall, MB didn’t even try to get it. Walk off RBI double. His tears nourish me.

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