OK, so the Cubs got their asses handed to them—after having their asses cut off, soaked in egg whites, breaded, deep fried, and dipped in cocktail sauce—and Butler couldn’t pull of the upset against Duke, so I’m sitting at Bruno’s watching the Mariners-A’s game. See Milton has two walks already, that’s good for his OBP. Top of the ninth, will the M’s put a rally together?
UPDATE: the A’s walk Iricho. As you might expect, since with a man on second, Ichiro is the one guy you could count on to hit a single to right to score that two-out run. Ichiro is a god.
UPDATE: Chone is working it. Sorry the count is working against him. But now it’s 1-2, and a single scores a run—fuck, routine 5-3 ground ball, bad throw, everyone’s safe. I love baseball.
UPDATE: Kotchman could take the heat off Bradley with a hit here, or a walk. . .
And he does, 2-run single. Let’s see what Milton does. . .
Pitch one, swings away and misses.. Pitch two, swings away and misses. Nowhere near either pitch. Nothing on the line, lots of swinging from Milton. Lays off way high and outside waste pitch. Swings at strike three a high outside changeup, nowhere near hitting it, breaks bat over his knee in rage. Or what I assume is rage, it might just be a pique. A picture of the future. . . will the A’s come back? I can suck it up for another half inning to maintain this Slog Live Blog . . .
2 quick outs for Aardsma, looks like a Mariners’ . . . . strike three, M’s win.
Cubs lose 16-5. I didn’t realize that Carlos Silva was their opening day starter.
Maybe we were both right. Silva IS going to be your best pitcher. Zambrano’s ERA is 54.00 right now.
M’s win.
Ah, so, all of the statistical intelligence goes by the wayside: I’d bet whatever money I have (not sure right now, it’s been a long night) that Zambrano’s ERA will be . . . lower thatn 54.00 by the end of the season. . .
Rooting for the M’s, against Bradley. This is a complicated situation, but I’ll ride this pony.
Bradley will have to get a restraining order against Chicago Fan by the time the season is done.
@4 I have a lot of restraint. I sat on the visitor’s dugout in Goodyear while Milton signed autographs in Spring Training. I only heckled him AFTER he unnecessarily endangered the career of an Indians rookie catcher. I am the soul of restraint.
The Braves’ Jason Heyward is the real deal, and Zambrano is now destined to be a trivia answer.
I’m always delighted when the Cubs lose, it’s nice to have something you can count on in life, but I’m going to take extra enjoyment from it this season knowing it pisses this idiot off.
Bradley had an “anger management” moment today when he smashed his bat against the ground and broke it.
@3: lower than 54.00? My, you’re just boiling over with confidence, aren’t you?
@5 – So, you didn’t heckle him while he was within arm’s reach signing autographs? Just because you’re afraid of him doesn’t mean you’re not obsessed.
The “soul of restraint” or a giant pussy?
Nice to see Rob Johnson hit one out considering he only had two last year. Not sure what to think of Parker Brothers just yet, the broken bat thing is a bit much for the first game.
Go Sounders!
Are you serious? He broke a bat?
Also, I remember when Silva was actually okay with the Twinkies. Groundballah!
I’ve got nothing to say about the Mariners and/or Cubs, but Jennifer Hudson’s “One Shining Moment” at the end of the basketball tourney made me VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY ANGRY. Luther Vandross is rolling over in his grave.
@13 Kettle meet Pot…
Yawn. The only thing that matters is the the Rockies won! Who wants to bet a beer that Ubaldo Jimenez wins this year’s NL Cy Young?
So let me get this straight, Chi-Fan – you’re going to view the Mariners’ entire 2010 campaign through a Milton Bradley prism?
I’ve defended your detail-obsessiveness as the birthright of any respectable sportswriter and will continue to do so, but really, this “Fatal Attraction” thing with Milton is gonna get old over the course of 162 games.
By the way, I laughed out loud when MB shattered his bat. But more in an oh-God-who-boiled-the-rabbit-on-the-stove kind of way. Thaaaaaat’s my Miltie!
P.S. Milton’s not going to have nearly as much of an impact on this season as anyone dreams/fears. My point.
I hate to say it, but I’m starting to enjoy CF’s Cubs and Milton Bradley updates. I’m hoping he does one after every game. Seriously.
@18 Way way way way old already. The Bile Filter gets boring quickly.
/wanders off to look for “ignore articles by…” feature of SLOG…
@20 – From the point of view of a guy mysteriously obsessed with a journeyman player, yes, I agree. It’ll make for perverse but interesting blog-o-rific drama.
(Fully acknowledging that MB may only be a journeyman because no team could stand him long enough to keep him around, of course. But still. MB won’t make or break the M’s this year. Though I hope he does the former.)
@21 – “Bile”? What bile?
And I have a very simple solution for your “ignore” conundrum, but it’ll involve some measure of self-restraint.
@14 Yeah, I’ve been enjoying the secondary Silva updates. He was pretty good here in MN when he was following Santana. Still can’t believe the M’s paid him $48 tho…
Oh yes. April again. Mariners winning.
Ah, soon it will be summer.
Time for overpriced Mariners to divebomb and tank.
25 – Actually the M’s cut payroll substantially this year – now at $89m vs $99m last year – 14th of 30 teams. Still room to pay for a big bat in left should a trade materialize. And I loved the defense and our 1-2 hitters on the base paths last night, pressurizing the opponents defense. Speed and defense don’t slump – so we shall see….
so tired of As, Angels, Rangers, As, Angels, Rangers, As, Angels, Rangers, As, Angels, Rangers, As, Angels, Rangers, As, Angels, Rangers, As, Angels, Rangers, As, Angels, Rangers, As, Angels, Rangers, As, Angels, Rangers.
Ichiro’s hit yesterday was the gateway to .400.
!!!ICHIRO!!!
Ichiro is pretty much the best, isn’t he? He is nearly singlehandedly responsible for me becoming a baseball fan.
I bet the Mariners could be as good as the Cubs if only we had an awesome 1st baseman who manages to get hurt sitting in a fucking chair! I am waiting for Derek Lee to hurt himself while reading.