As a citizen of the world, you must have asked yourself: What’s Osama bin Laden’s take on global climate change? On which side of the debate does he come down? Obviously, if ever there was a voice worth hearing on this critical issue, it’s the voice of an Islamic fundamentalist cave-dwelling architect of mass murder. But never mind that: What kind of WalkScore do you get in Waziristan? But seriously:

“Talk about climate change is not an ideological luxury but a reality,” Mr. bin Laden was quoted as saying in a report on Al Jazeera’s English-language Web site. “All of the industrialized countries, especially the big ones, bear responsibility for the global warming crisis.”

The authenticity of the tape could not be immediately confirmed, and Al Jazeera, which is based in Qatar, did not say how it had obtained the message.

I’m sure any environmentalist you ask would tell you that being in agreement with Osama bin Laden is not on their 2010 wish list, but bin Laden’s apparent wanderings from his usual gripes (Jews, homos, the Saudis) is a great sign that the old ghost is seeing his influence waning. Do you think that even 10 percent of his fellow fundamentalists know what global warming is? Even if that many did, I’m sure the issue would hardly hold their attention for long.

10 replies on “Osama bin Laden, Environmentalist”

  1. I don’t know if it’s that weird – my limited understanding (I know, ignorant American here) of their idealogy is that they think the industrialized West is screwing things up. Isn’t one of the justifications for targeting big, symbolic buildings? So “the big, industrialized nations are responsible for screwing up the whole planet” isn’t that big of a leap from “the big, industrialized nations are responsible for screwing up our righteous Muslim society”.

  2. This is great. Not even The Onion can be funnier than real life all the time. We might not live in the best of all possible worlds, but at least we live in the goofiest.

  3. Al Qaeda has a more progressive environmental policy than the GOP. Naturally, Faux News will spin this as evidence that climate change is fake.

  4. Want to really hurt al-Qaeda?

    Build more US-made/operated/maintained wind, solar, geothermal, tidal, hydro, nuclear power supplies.

    Every dollar that doesn’t go to the terrorist-supporting nation of Saudi Arabia is another dollar fighting them.

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