PETA wants to replace Punxsutawney Phil with a robot-groundhog. This is just stupid: How can a robot-groundhog tell whether winter is over or not?

Meanwhile, according to the AP, the president of the Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club (the Inner Circle? Why make it sound so insidious, Groundhog Club?) says Phil is “being treated better than the average child in Pennsylvania” and lives in a climate-controlled environment. If the latter is true, he is being treated better than the average Stranger writer; our heating SUX. It’s 47 degrees in Seattle and approximately 42 degrees in the office.

18 replies on “PETA’s Latest: Free the Groundhog from His Luxurious Servitude”

  1. They could take him to one of their shelters! He’d only have a 10% chance of not being euthanized, but it’s still better than a comfy outdoor hutch and a yearly 20 minute photo op.

  2. @3 What’s wrong with your workplace that employees complain that they are being treated worse than rodents?

    Perhaps the kids just bitch less.

  3. It’s too bad for the animals that PETA’s true gift is snatching headlines for their latest crazy/stupid stunt. They argue that the publicity impacts real issues, like factory farming, but they seem totally blind to the fact that they make people who care about animal rights look like idiots.

    I didn’t think they could top sea kittens, but PETA reliably surprises…

  4. If we have enough money to waste building robotic groundhogs, we should at least be able to spend a few extra bucks on a weather control device. That should make everyone happy.

  5. Why don’t we just replace the whole “it’s so adorable to watch an animal come out of the ground” bullflop and watch a Bill Murray movie every February 2nd instead?

  6. As someone from PA, one who has even driven through Punxy (they have the most amazing, and flagship, Sheetz by the way), I can tell you, that while not in his hole at Gobbler’s Knob for a few hours each Feb. 2, the many Phil’s stay in climate controlled, luxury (or at least, luxury for rodents) accommodations in the Punxy public library.

    And yes, the Groundhog club is strange and ancient, and the term “Inner Circle” is sadly, correct. Top hats and all.

  7. Fuck PETA! You have a heart to dedicate your life to make the world a “better place”, and you waste it by allowing yourselfs to become hysterical, moralistic, uptight, killjoys. Bassicly every thing I hate about FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIANS!!!!!!

  8. @15: SHEETZ! Qwik shopper. Reminds me of how I first heard about the Fred Meyer chain, in a DK song. But I thought the sheetz family was located in Altoona.

    One of the interesting things about groundhogs, for Pennsylvanians, is that they are not protected and they are numerous and many. Hence, you can shoot them at parties. Ach du scheisse, the International Varmint Hunter isn’t online.

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