lastnightinbloomington.jpg

These boys accosted me last night shortly after I arrived in Bloomington, Indiana. It was nearly midnight when I got to town and I was restless and hungry, so I left my hotel to find something to eat. I wound up on Kirkwood, just off campus, where there wasn’t much to eat besides pizzas and pitas and subs. Walking back to my hotel—which is in the middle of Indiana University’s insanely beautiful campus—I passed a food truck selling fresh-baked cookies. The boy on the left in the picture above, Dan, asked me to buy him a cookie. His friend Zac, on the right, told me that they run the Philadelphia cheese steak truck that’s usually out on this corner and if I came back tomorrow night he would “set me up” with a cheese steak if I bought his friend Dan a cookie. The woman in the truck—exasperated with Dan and Zac—asked the boys to leave me alone. But Dan was persistent, telling me he’d do anything—anything—if I would just buy him a cookie. The picture doesn’t do Dan justice; he’s one of those people who looks better when he isn’t smiling. He looks best, in fact, when he’s leaning in close, alcohol on his breath, and promising to do anything—absolutely anything—for a cookie.

I love college towns.

53 replies on “Postcard from Bloomington, Indiana”

  11. OK, I live in Bloomington, and I would buy that guy a cookie if he was interested. I’ve seen the cookie truck, but never the cheese steak one. Cafe Pizzaria on Kirkwood is pretty good (not as good as Papa Del’s was when we were in Champaign, though) Wish I could come see you tonight, but can’t.

  16. Imagine that this had been posted by some middle aged hetero dude who was “accosted” by some young, cute, & hot females. Wouldn’t that make Dan’s post kinda creepy and a bit sad? No less so that it was posted by an old gay dude.

  20. One time I went to a week long punk fest in Bloomington and it was so fun. We rode our bikes to the lake and went swimming. It was in the middle of the summer, so there weren’t any college kids around. That’s probably why I liked it so much.

  22. @16 A tree fell in the forest; Dan heard it and reported same. Only Queen Victoria – and perhaps you – were not amused. This entire exchange represents charming, small-town values and you’ve managed to invest it with some sort of underlying nefariousness, Judge Judy. Seriously.

  25. @21: So it’s only creepy if the accostee is ugly? Sorry, compared to the two youths Dan is old and, shall I say, a bit plain…and it is still creepy and sad.

    @23:
    Dan wrote: “…telling me he’d do anything—anything—if I would just buy him a cookie”

    Yep, no nefarious subtext there.

  26. seconding the Runcible for lunch, coffee, & breakfast. It’s also across the alley from Bloomingfoods, the food co-op.

    Bullwinkles is the gay bar, if you really want to club it up, Dan.

    Glad you found campus to beautiful; it’s been damn near twenty years and I still dream of it. The old-school bar on Kirkwood is Nick’s.

    The gabled building housing a restaurant across the street from campus near the observatory (just around the corner from where Kirkwood runs up into campus) is the physical location where Hoagy Carmichael composed “Stardust.” At the time it was called the Book Nook. Now I believe it to be a buffalo wings joint.

  28. @25. It’s a charming story and only becomes creepy and sad if an older gay guy like Dan tries to bed these cute guys or if an older straight guy like me tries bed two young female cuties. The filth is in your head, not ours.

    Oh, and even though I’m straight, given enough wine and Dan’s looks, I just might be willing to exchange friendly mutual hands jobs with him. NO KISSING! NO BUGGERIE!!!! Just the most intimate of handshakes.

  31. well, duh, Dan.

    This young twinky IS cute (which I’m willing to admit, even though I’m not into Twinkies [I’m more of a ho-ho or ding-dong guy]) but he really wouldn’t be worth banging ’cause:

    1)he’s young and lets face it; the young have tons of youthful energy but lack technique.
    2)Hell hath no fury like a househusband scorned…
    3)you left all your NDA’s at home.
    4)booze and cookie breath is not sexy.
    5)in reality, everyone in Indiana has a really big mouth.

  34. @26, Bullwinkle’s long closed, sorry to report. Uncle Elizabeth’s is the new gay bar on the west side in a strip mall, where my friend Scott puts on drag shows.

    And it doesn’t matter, gay or hetero, boy or girl, you can find someone on the street late at night in Bloomington who would do just about anything for a cookie, hence the cookie truck and Baked!, a late night cookie and milk only store opened by an enterprising IU student.

    Dan, I will see you tonight! Just be glad we finally ran the evangelical riff-raff out of town that marched with offensive signs and shouted alarming slogans at any event that smacked of anything other than what the good book dictates…

  36. Why does an older guy, gay or straight, appreciating getting hit on by young cute things, guys or girls, have to be creepy? Hell, why does it have to be creepy even if said older guy ends up having sexual relations with said cute young thing(s)?

    Why so sex-negative? I’m a cute young thing but if I wanted to sleep with an older individual, I would, and it would be HAWT, not creepy.

  37. @36: Thank you, darlin’, and if you weren’t 1,000 miles away from me, I’d be sending you an e-mail right now. Assuming that’s your real e-mail address, which wouldn’t be a very good idea.

  38. I’ve always liked men. Even when I was in my teens. Something about grey hair and laugh lines does it for me. So, not creepy at all.

  42. @41: More likely, she’ll call you shit-for-brains.

    Made it to the bank, Kim, and am well on my way to getting shnockered. Still snowing. Fuck shit piss.

  43. Fifty-Two-Eighty,

    I’m so glad you made it to the bank. Next time watch your necessities! Every home requires one fine bottle at all times. Sorry about the snow, I’ve got pouring rain. Trade you?

  47. Dan, you just didn’t wander far enough down Kirkwood! The Trojan Horse, down on the courthouse square, has some kick ass Greek food (they’re hummus and pita is the best I’ve ever had). Sorry you missed it.

  50. Heh. I’m into older people. Dan is gorgeous. If I were a gay man, I’d buy HIM cookies as payment for LETTING me do whatever he wanted for him.

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