I cannot ride a real skateboard. Can barely push off; haven’t figured out how to pop the back end down and fly upward (I go forward-whoops-downward instead). For a long time, the ’80s kid in me believed the hobby was a cool, unattainable thing, and I demanded its emulation.
Must be why I’d giddily put up with every shitty skateboarding game in history—720, Skate or Die, Skate or Die 2, T&C Surf Designs (uhff, that one still burns). I loved the Tony Hawk games so much, I went out of my way to get them for the Game Boy Advance.
And I have endured the newest game on the block, Skate 2 (PS3, Xbox 360). It bills itself as a “back to the roots” title, the realistic yin to Tony Hawk’s zany yang, but tell that to Skate 2’s absent QA department.
Not sure why I’ve stuck through it all. Every physics glitch that sent my (apparently suicidal) boarder soaring; every slightly missed trick that resulted in an unrealistic crash; every failed attempt to ride up a ramp, since the game’s “pumping” mechanic doesn’t make sense; every wreck because some (apparently suicidal) AI person swerved into me; every time I couldn’t see what was in front because of the game’s “edgy” camera angle; every time I got off my board to walk around, only to find my character’s knee joints are made of talc. I have grimaced, I have cursed, and yet I have lost hours to Skate 2’s challenges because I have some arcane tolerance for this crap.
Again, you’re dumped into a pseudo-Californian city with a board and the “flickit” gimmick, in which you pull off moves not with a button, but with an analog stick—as if your thumb was your back foot on a real board. Would be a cooler feature if it were precise at all. If I whip the stick around the same direction five times, I typically pull off four different moves. But because it forces gameplay to fundamentally shift to street-style skating, I’ll take it.
When the game’s not glitching out, Skate 2 is the right kind of difficult. Peeling off a street “line”—kickflip off a curb into a grind into a manual, etc.—isn’t as automated as TH. There’s a weight to take into account, so you have to mentally measure your speed, momentum, and power before doing any hop or grind. Except for physics glitches, this profoundly changes the satisfaction from what older skating games made seem humdrum. I’ve consistently acted like I’m 12 and saved replays of my best lines—sometimes because they look cool, more often because I knew what it took to nail ’em. This central tenet is just about reason enough to give the game a shot.
But too many of the in-game challenges bring out the worst of Skate 2’s glitches and issues. Aside from a few creative challenges, and a welcome tutorial series, most of the content is fluffy padding, demanding specific moves with that damned imprecise flickit stick, or demanding near-perfect 3-minute sequences with the looming promise of a wonky session-ruiner.
You can skip that junk easily, as most of the game world is unlocked by default. But, then, how is this follow-up worth buying again if it’s so buggy? The new online content is the most noticeable update, with vs. and co-op options alike that range from amusing (take-turns contests for the best trick) to forgettable (everybody do a kickflip off that bridge). Beyond that, sequel seekers get slight updates to a year-old control system, more architecture to trick off of, more tricks to do, and less visual stuttering.
It’s not $60 of new, not at all—and camera angles and the replay editor are still disappointingly uncustomizable—so other than online, I’m not sure what EA spent over a year doing here. Perhaps they spent it thinking up ways to rip off their customers, like asking for $5 to access a goddamned cheat code. Lame. Way to harsh my ’80s kid’s mellow, Skate 2.
(footage from the game’s hurt-yourself mode, which is amusing, but not as good a masochism-sim as Pain for the PS3)
Here’s what seems so phoney baloney about all these “X-sports” — most of them require very little exertion at all. It’s all about coasting, gliding, “hanging”. No one ever has to work up a sweat, so it’s more about wearing the right pants and looking good doing a back flip.
For exercise, I go to the gym and do the new cantilevered walk/runner (works like The Gazelle, the thing Tony Little used to bark about on infomercials) or ride my bicycle up Kent East Hill, a three mile climb of 500ft, in first gear. Is it cool? Hell, no. Is it hard? Yes.
I find skating games to be sooooo boring anyways. It’s kind of like doing the finishing moves in Mortal Kombat over and over again. Who cares? Yawn.
@1 Why don’t you give one of those sports a try? I bet you couldn’t “coast, glide, or hang” fer shit. Try to hold your own in that full pipe in Kent! Oh a 3 mile climb of a whole 500 feet! Doesn’t that come out to about 0.035ft rise per 1 foot of run? That shit is weak! I bet you wear tights too- Hoser!
I try not to criticize skateboarding any more. The violence of the activity seems to easily spill over and victimize not just participants but observers and commenters too. I’m actually surprised that this kind of game is even marketed to kids. Is it supposed to be better than promoting gun violence?
Oh, there I did it. Now I’m going to have skaters after me again, threatening to track me down and show me just how peaceful and harmless they really are. But the thing that proves most of all the lack of athleticism of skateboarding is how little it does to lessen aggression and relieve stress. Somehow skateboarding builds a bursting reservoir of anger, rather than releasing it.
Sunday – media reports Adams has told members of the City Council he will NOT resign …
well well
@ 1 & 4-Shouldn’t you be posting on the PI? POSEURS!
for comment 1 all i have to say is try it for yourself before makeing fun of it. First off running up a stair set constantly and putting your muscles in constant use is more exersion than riding a bicycle anyday, also a regular day for me consists of skateing for about six to 12 hours just that day with few breaks while you finish your bike ride and sit on your ass all day. Another thing is i don’t wear skater cloths i dress preppy but am still very into skateboarding so your wrong about two things.
number 4 i do somewhat agree with you, mabey because of the sucide jumps or what not but besides that theres not much violence and i can’t see kids jumping off a 20 story building cause they did it in skate. But you really are wrong about your second paragraph while i skate i don’t have a care in the world and my stress just sort of disapears, also not all skaters are agressive thugs thats just a hollywood steriotype and its quite offensive.
both of you really need to stop hating on what you don’t understand just because it’s something you don’t do weather it’s because you don’t want to or because you are uncapaple.
1) San Vancelona – San Fran / Vancouver BC / Barcelona
2) 720 ruled, you just suck. SKATE OR DIE!
3) #4 sounds like the biggest pussy in the world. Get a life, loser.
4) Camera angles suck, and yes it is glitchy but you can do bonelesses, inverts and one foots now. fuck yeah.
I don’t play skate games because I’m a doer and would rather just skate. @1 it’s actually an exerting workout if you don’t lurk and I’ve pedaled my bike up that hill in a bigger gear than you have and I used to do it 5 days a week. @4 I have to say that when my day is stressful and I’m in a snotty mood my girlfriend sends me to go skate and my world is all good when I’m done.