Roland Burris is like many STIs, the gift that keeps on giving.

The mood on the street in Chicago is somewhere beyond mildly pissed, but not quite to mob action. We all knew this guy was a egomaniacal hack, but no one quite grasped the extent of his hackitude. His bullshit is distracting people from Obama’s accomplishments, and feeding the meme that Obama’s from a political swamp (of course, Obama is from a political swamp—and, historically, Chicago was an actual swamp—but our political swampdwellers aren’t all alligators and cottonmouths).

So, what’s to come for the man John Kass has nicknamed Senator Tombstone? He will not resign. He cannot cut a deal and promise to not run in 2010, because that is practically an admission of guilt. The Senate won’t have the balls to oust him unless he gets indicted for perjury on the state level AND Illinois has changed its laws to require a special election for a vacant Senate seat, and this is unlikely as well.

My prediction: he blames the media, sticks it out and is crushed like a bug in the 2010 Democratic primary by the blood relative of some other hack. Then, if the Republicans can find someone who’s not criminally inept, they take the seat back to the other side of the aisle.

On a lighter note, the brilliant Carol Marin provides, in today’s Sun-Times, the translation of Senator Durbin’s comments yesterday from DC Political-speak into Chicagoese.

Money quote:

DURBIN: There is a “feeling of disappointment of some of us in the Senate. . . . We were relying on his sworn testimony.”

TRANSLATION: Everyone knew this guy, appointed by THAT guy, was tainted but Harry Reid and I didn’t have the cojones to cross the Congressional Black Caucus and just say no.

DURBIN: “Sadly [his testimony] . . . was not complete.”

TRANSLATION: Roland lied like a bookie to a grand jury.

But, you know, at least a bookie provides a necessary service. Burris is just a pothole on the road of life, as was indicated last night when Obama didn’t shake his hand or acknowledge his waves after the speech. Kind of pitiful, actually.

15 replies on “Roland, Roland, Roland (to the tune of “Rawhide!”)”

  2. Chicago Fan: My prediction: he blames the media, sticks it out and is crushed like a bug in the 2010 Democratic primary by the blood relative of some other hack.

    Translation: Deliver us from Lisa Madigan…and Jesse Jackson, Jr.

  3. I’ve been wondering how this was playing in Chicago – thanks for your input. (The rest of the country wrote of Chicago as hopelessly corrupt years ago.)

  4. Last night Burris reminded me of one of those idiots that you see when a reporter is doing a live shot. He did his best to get in the frame whenever a camera was pointed in his general direction. Are his 15 minutes up yet?

  5. @3 Actually, Chicago is very hopefully corrupt.

    @2 Madigan has her eyes on Governor; and Jesse Jr. is political poison downstate due to his father’s bullshit, and so has no chance in a general election–unless the R’s send Alan Keyes again.

    @4 It’s just about a year till the 2010 primary. Lots of minutes to go.

  8. @9
    And Seattle, of course, is not in America, where this political shit which originated in Chicago but effects America matters. It’s in its own happy little world. Or miserable little world, shitforbrains.

  10. Hey Shitcago fan,

    just because your brother/whatever that guy is pretty much the only glue holding this rag together doesn’t give you the right to get cocky. Are you that much of a hopeless loser to post in another citys blog? Why not Akron, Pensacola or Walla Walla?

    BEAT IT.

  13. Chicago doesn’t have a blog like this. We should. But we don’t. If there were, I would know about it and contribute to it.

    Fuck you guys.

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