Google result and former senator Rick Santorum entered an already-engorged Republican field yesterday, surrounded by people holding signs saying things like “Georgia Picks Rick.” Santorum has had a finger in for months now, but his announcement Wednesday puts him all in.
With a field otherwise consisting of mealy-mouthed oligarchs, ludicrous medical professionals, and union-busting gopher-people, the race should be nice and tight.
Who else, though, thinks of dog fucking every time he thinks of gay people? Who else has the throbbing passion required to keep hardcore porn from the eyes of people who like hardcore porn? Who but Santorum could possibly be relaxed enough to explain the dangers of contraception? And who else can really stick it out when the campaign takes a pounding?
Time will tell if Santorum pulls out prematurely—as he did in 2012—or if this time he’ll have the resolve, gumption, and tenderness to finish. Either way, it’s going to be a mess.
