I’m in an awkward situation and need advice ASAP. I’m a grad student in my mid-20’s, and this summer while studying in another country I met and thought I had fallen in love with a British guy. When I returned to the US after spending 2.5 months together, he ended up following me home, which I was excited about at the time. He planned a stay of 90 days, the length of his tourist visa, and he’s relying on me for accommodations though supplying his own food/drinking money through minimal online work and borrowing from his parents. Within the first weeks that he was here, I already started to realize that I didn’t like him as much as I’d thought. Since then, I’ve become increasingly annoyed by him and stressed by his financial issues and constant presence. We haven’t had sex in weeks and I no longer want to. The next month is very work-heavy and I don’t know that I can handle having him here anymore, but even cheap options like couchsurfing would likely force him to borrow even more from his parents, something I know he would hate to do. Can I uninvite someone who I encouraged to visit me? Or should I suck it up and let him stay for the last month?

Girl Terminating Floundering Oaf

You can ask him to leave whenever you like/you’re done with him, GTFO.

Your offer to put him up? Predicated upon the assumption that this romance would continue to blossom—or whatever—and, yeah, the bloom is off the rose, the rosebush has been dug up and mulched, the earth under it has been salted, etc. You didn’t adopt him, he’s not your dependent, you’re not obligated to house him past the relationship’s expiration date.

As for the awkwardness, GTFO, best to power through that shit. You know it’s over (you’re not fucking him), he knows it’s over (he’s not fucking you), but neither of you wants to acknowledge the over-ness of the situation because… what would that mean? You have to kick him out first thing in the morning? He has to ask mom and dad for more money before lunchtime? He has to head back to the UK after dinner?

There’s another option.

Go to him and say, “Hey, we gave it a shot but it looks like an LTR isn’t in the offing. Still, our STR—short-term relationship—was pretty awesome. Here’s the thing: We could salvage a lifelong friendship out of this if we can manage to stick the dismount. But the more time we spend cooped up in my apartment together the greater the odds of things going from merely awkward to completely toxic. I don’t want to force you to go home early but I have a ton of work to do and I need my space. So you’re welcome to stay here but I’m going to need you—for my sanity and for the sake of our future friendship—to make yourself exceedingly scarce. Get out there, meet other girls, slay ’em with that accent, spend the night as often as you can… and, with luck, the next four weeks should fly by. Deal?”