- Spike Friedman
- Child and grown man celebrate Seahawks win 3000 miles from location of Seahawks win.
The Seahawks won again, beating the St. Louis Rams 20-6 at home, avenging an earlier loss in St. Louis. So the Seahawks have double-digit wins, again. Also the Seahawks are NFC West Champions. Again. Oh, plus the Seahawks are the number one seed. Again. Oh yeah, and the Seahawks have the best defense in football. Again.
The Seahawks are so good. It barely feels hard anymore. I’m feeling so smug after this win I don’t even feel like breaking it down. Let’s do something a little more fun:
As the regular season portion of the Insufferable Journey to Rewinnining the Super Bowl™ is now over, I’d like to take a moment to highlight the best players and moments of the season, by handing out some awards that I’m going to term The First Annual Insufferagettes. They are so named as they are both the most insufferable Seahawks-related awards around, and no one gets to vote on them.
Most Improved Seahawk: tight end Luke “Good EDM” Willson who shed his dubstep nickname with a stunning two-touchdown Week 16 performance. Here’s your award, Luke:
*Willson drops award*
*Jordan Hill somehow catches it for an interception*
Um… I guess defensive tackle Jordan Hill gets the most improved Seahawk award.
Most Decimated Opponent: the Seahawks’ final ten opponents all lost their next game, so there are a lot of good options here. But the best is the San Francisco 49ers, who came into their first matchup with the Seahawks with a 50% chance of making the playoffs, and left their second matchup with the Seahawks two weeks later eliminated from the playoffs. Now their head coach John Harbaugh is headed to Michigan, quarterback Colin Kaepernick’s future is in doubt, and what was shaping up to be the new marquee rivalry for the NFL feels like anything but.
The Future Is Bright Award Presented By Sunglass Hut: rookie receivers Paul Richardson and Kevin Norwood, who appear to have complementary NFL caliber receiving skill-sets. Richardson is a speedy receiver who can be lined up wide, while Norwood appears to be a solid possession receiver in the mold of old-time Seahawks hero Bobby Engram. The Seahawks’ wide receiver group is not as good as last year’s vintage featuring Golden Tate, but the guys we have are young and talented, and there’s room to spend draft capital or free agent money on the position next year.
Addition By Subtraction Award: I forget who won this one. Does anyone else remember some dude we had named like Marvin? Mercy Marvin? I don’t know.
Best Self-Given Nickname: Michael “Black Santa” Bennett.
Funnest Trick Deployed By The Seahawks Offense: Marshawn Lynch, dangerous receiver; Russell Wilson, dangerous runner; Jermaine Kearse, dangerous passer (insofar as he one time threw to a covered Russell Wilson on a trick play, endangering his life).
Worstest Trick Deployed By The Seahawks Offense: bubble screen to receiver standing behind fewer blockers than tacklers on that side of the field. Four yard loss.
Worstest Trick Deployed Against The Seahawks This Year: The no-calls against Seahawks opponents maneuver. I get that the Seahawks commit a bunch of dumb penalties. But to not call them both ways? Not fun. Very insufferable.
This Old House Award: Schka’s Haus in a landslide. Steven had a great bounce-back game on Sunday, and aside from week 16, had a wonderful season in the midst of a special teams unit that otherwise took a big step back from last year’s elite level.
Most Insufferable Steven Hauschka Related Holiday Anecdote: A friend of mine went to a friend’s house in Virginia this Christmas. That friend got a Christmas card from notable Middlebury-alumnus Steven Hauschka. I was jealous of my friend for even getting to see the card. I’m weird. Let’s move on…
Most Underrated Seahawk: my two runners up for this award were defensive lineman Michael Bennett, who somehow missed the Pro Bowl despite having an All-Pro caliber season; and rookie Justin Britt, who took a ton of (well deserved) flack for his pass blocking without getting full credit for his run blocking and ability to stay healthy when everyone was falling around him on the offensive line. Instead of those two, though, I’m gonna get weird and go with perennial All-Pro Earl Thomas. I feel like he’s still somehow not quite given the respect he deserves, if only because he’s the second best defensive player in football (behind J.J. Watt who is pure footballing truth) and I’m not sure everyone puts him there. Put him there. He’s number two. He also made a top contender for most insufferable play of the year… actually let’s just award that now.
Most Insufferable Seahawk Play Of The Year: recency bias gives Earl’s fumble punch the edge over Beast Quake 2.0. Let’s watch this again:
The Rams were finally stringing plays together after getting shut down by the Seahawks’ defense for three quarters, got an inch from the goal-line and were denied in horrific fashion. Thomas even has the presence of mind to flick the ball out of bounds on the far side of the pylon, ensuring the Seahawks get the ball back. This is a superhero movie in one Vine sans the boring origin story where Thomas doesn’t get bitten by a radioactive spider and instead just works really hard.
Most Insufferable Seahawks Ad: Russell Wilson selling me American Family Insurance. Sorry, Russ. I’m not telling you about my dreams until you take an on-camera acting class.
Best Seahawks In-Season Addition:
Most Insufferable Regular Season MVP: I’m not picking one player. I can’t with this team. Instead I’m going with seven: Russell Wilson, Marshawn Lynch, Earl Thomas, Richard Sherman, Michael Bennett, Bobby Wagner and Kam Chancellor, all of whom contributed in irreplaceable ways to this year’s campaign. If these seven guys stay healthy, I think the Insufferable Journey to Rewinnining the Super Bowl™ will culminate most insufferably with a second straight championship.
Actual Most Insufferable MVP: the P in MVP usually stands for player, but I’m changing it to person for this award. Or maybe patrician?
- (via Larry Brown Sports)
What Pete Carroll has done to the Seahawks mindset and preparation cannot be overstated. This team is an imposing testament to Carroll, and really, he is the least replaceable person in this whole organization.
After an incredible regular season, the Seahawks are off next week and then will get Carolina, Detroit or Arizona. Does it matter who the Seahawks get? In some ways yes, because some of these teams are worse matchups for Seattle but in other ways, no, because we’re going back to the Super Bowl regardless.