Nalgene, the company that fastens nuke-resistant water bottles to hippies, released a study today rating the most and least wasteful cities in America. According to a survey of 3,750 Americans’ planet-murdering behaviors—leaving the lights on, letting the tap run, taking too damn long in the shower, and so forth—Atlanta was the worst and San Francisco was the best.
Atlanta residents (followed by Dallas and Indianapolis denizens) recycled the least, threw away the most, refused to reuse, and were reluctant to borrow books from the library. They also steered clear of local markets and loved disposable beverage containers. San Franciscans, on the other hand, won top ranks for drinking Burgundy from Nalgene bottles, refusing to shower, and composting their dead pets.
“One of the things that we’ve seen is that people are willing to have a less wasteful lifestyle if it is easy and convenient,” says Meghan Gargan, a company spokeswoman. She adds, “If it saves money, they are way more likely to do it.”
Seattle was ranked the county’s fourth least wasteful city, after New York and Portland. The rest of the report—which is clearly a Nalgene-bottle marketing campaign preying on our inferiority complex over the giantness of New York and quaintness of Portland, and our willingness to buy reusable bottles to avoid being ridiculed as “wasters”—is over here.
Hee. I await the onslaught of abuse, but your description of San Franciscans’ behavior cracks me up.
Why are surveys like this so afraid to tackle the biggest contributors to waste?
Obviously they’re not trying to be precise, but not eating beef and pork should be at least a 200 on this scale — more important than everything else combined.
Beef . . . It’s what’s for dinner.
@2 Hopefully because they don’t want to encourage the militant vegan crowd. Those folks are more annoying and obnoxious than fundamentalist Christians at an abortion clinic.
Naglene must have hurt you very badly indeed, Dominic, to have left you so bitter. I can tell you were more than friends, too. Much more.
I’m worried about harmful chemicals leaching out of Nalgene into my drink, so I drink out of the skulls of my victims instead.
I love it when people get in the car to drive 5 miles to buy bottles of tap water that come from the same water supply they can get out of the tap.
It’s just so Seattle.
Klean Kanteen is where it’s at. And who wants to guess at how SF and Seattle compare to Atlanta and Houston on meat consumption?
Will, did you notice that it’s actually much less Seattle than other major cities?
Noticing isn’t one of Will’s strengths, Dwight.
You know, it’s fun to pretend that all this trivial gum-wrapper-saving is making a huge difference, but I’ll betcha that the most wasteful New Yorkers use fewer resources than all but the most dedicated hippies in Seattle or Portland, or even SF, simply by virtue of the inbuilt advantages of the dense city itself. It’s not just cars, either; on heating alone, New Yorkers are miles ahead of us, simply because they live in apartments, while most of us have six surfaces exposed to the world.
Want to really be environmentally conscious? Don’t have children. Reproducing is the least environmentally-sensitive thing someone in an industrialized country can do.
#11
Agreeded, or, no more than two. What the fuck happened to zero population grown as a movement?
fuck portland and nalgene right in their hippy necks.
We pretty much just throw all our shit on the street here. Candy wrappers, bottles, urine, old books and cell phone chargers to be resold at make-shift street markets. Keeps things out of landfills. Oh, and where the hell would I put a car?
What I mean to say is, damn we’re “green”.
I will always indulge intaking long showers, I don’t give a damn. I do damn near everything else right and life is short…
sigg sigg sigg
The ZPG movement died when it was observed that the natural population of the industrialized world was in decline all on its own, with nobody having to say or do anything. And since some poor countries have turned into rich countries, but no poor countries have remained poor while declining in population, everyone realized it’s easier to raise standards of living than to enforce population control. All the smart people quit ZPG and went to work fighting poverty, leaving only the nutters to carry the flame.
And that’s why there’s no point in harping on other people about their kids.
8
Don’t feel bad, girls, if you don’t eat as much manly beef as we do in the South.
I’m sure you’ve got us beat in quiche consumption.
@18 wow you sure showed me with that quiche joke!!
According to Garbage Land, municipal waste is only about 2% of all waste, which means municipal recycling is a teeeny part of the problem…
portland > seattle
@18,
Enjoy your colon cancer.
@10 – oh come on, it’s not like people in Seattle have more cars per capita than any of the top three ranked cities …
Um.
Never mind.
i want to say that i already knew san francisco and new york were better than everyone else, but this study only surveyed 125 or so people from each city. when you talking about millions, 125 is a pretty pathetic sample number.
also @18, what’s a quiche? what kind of prissy ass wimp knows what that is? must be a lot of hippies in alabama…
22
Actually your colon cancer will squish out your leaky rectum, eventually. If the anal warts don’t snag and hold it, of course.
24
doug you kidder.
if you belch or scratch your ass while you say it you might do a more convincing imitation of a ‘real guy’.
Anal warts holding your shit back, and you think you are an urban hipster, cultivated, educated and with something to offer the world?
Mom is not proud.
“I’ll betcha that the most wasteful New Yorkers use fewer resources than all but the most dedicated hippies in Seattle or Portland, or even SF, simply by virtue of the inbuilt advantages of the dense city itself.”
Uh… SF is 7×7 miles with zero room for expansion. You guys might worship at the God of Sprawl, but SF is a dense city filled to the brim with small apartments (and dirty, tap-water-drinking hippies).