…but this has to be the grossest thing on Slog today.

A turtle is not a tit clamp. Please make a note of it. Via Towleroad.

19 replies on “Shark Attacks, Torn Off Testicles, Hippos, Sarah Palin, Andy Rooney, Old Pictures of Me in Drag…”

  1. Thanks for the heads up. Just as I refused to read the testicle torture bit (got light-headed just glancing at it), I will not play this…

  2. RugbySkin, If this is the video tha you cited, I’m in no disagreement with you here. This is just a milder form of the same as in the other story, it is what they call “BDSM” in one of its simplest forms. It’s also close to bordering bestiality. Shouldn’t surprise none to see that turtle placed between his legs in another video. You see, people like these are what they call sexual thrill seekers, they get a high from doin these things, it’s sorta like a gateway drug. Once they cross one boundary they seek another new one and so on, until they descend into something like the scrotum mutilation case or worst.

    You cannot go thru life giving ‘advice’ to others by telling them that they can do whatever they want with their bodies and believing that somehow makes you progressive and then turn around and say to others with sexual pursuits that you feel are icky that such or such “is not” what they should be doing. It doesnt work that way.

  3. people should be allowed to do just about any fool thing to their own bodies as adults or with consenting adults, but a turtle can’t consent, so not only is including a tutle in sex play dehumanizing, iits turtle rape. also, those things carry salmonella, keep that stuff away.

  4. Yeah loveschildrensporn, this is the video. Altho how awesome is it that they used the TMNT theme song?

    However, there’s a difference between frat boys doing stupid stuff ( I had a friend who shaved his nipple off for no good reason) and actual consenting BDSM scene between two consenting adults, and thats the thing you miss. You just lump all the hot kinky stuff together as “Immoral” instead of looking at all the fun emotional satisfaction that happens from it. And if you wanna go after us, look at McGreevey’s ex who’s talking about gay people being immoral when she was having threesomes with her husband and another guy. Really.

  5. I imagine that sex with Loveschild is about as appealing as sitting down to a plate of nothing but Brussels sprouts.

    You’re really not looking forward to it.
    You can’t wait for it to be over.
    It leaves a really funky after-taste in your mouth.

  6. Don’t insult brussels sprouts like that Frau.

    I don’t see anything there that says people shouldn’t do this stuff, just that Dan thinks it’s gross.

    The turtle doesn’t look like it’s being forced to do anything either – except maybe let go.

    I think only a teenager would be stupid enough to try something like that, and it looked like he didn’t enjoy it all that much.

    Saying that is like a gateway drug is like saying that anyone that takes a drink of alcohol or puffs a cigarette ends up being meth-head.

    You’ve got a sick imagination, LC.

  7. @10, take fresh brussels sprouts, cut off any manky bits on the stem, then halve them from crown to stem. Toss them on a baking tray with some olive oil and salt, then roast them until they carmelize. They get all crispy and sweet and tasty. Be careful not to cook them too long, or they will get bitter. Brussels sprouts are only bad when they’ve been frozen or overcooked. I had a giant plate of brussels sprouts for dinner last night, and it was good.

  8. I seem to recall that turtles frequently carry salmonella infections, so this probably is not a wise thing to do just for health reasons.

    And as others have mentioned, turtle cannot give consent.

    But as to it being ‘dehumanizing’, I would say that including them in BDSM is just the opposite.

  9. @11, 12, 13, & 14 – My point was not to disparage Brussels Sprouts. Personally, I enjoy them too (as a side dish or an accompaniment to a plate of diverse food).

    I certainly wouldn’t look forward to eating nothing but a plate of B. Sprouts, though.

    Hence, the comparison to sex with Loveschild.

    My apologies to B. Sprouts. No offense meant.

  10. I watched three seconds of that. Fuck you, and everyone else trying to ruin memories of my childhood. What’s next? Play the Samurai Pizza Cat theme song to the Jar Squatter video?

Comments are closed.