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David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...

9 replies on “Since We’re Stuck Here Together We Might As Well Have a Conversation…”

  1. Shouldn’t that be “emigrating” to Canada? Not to diss the oil spill, which is already doing quite well just by learning human language.

  2. This Gulf Coast native just keeps getting more and more depressed…..

    What’s a depressogenic (depression-causing) event? Something really bad that happens that you couldn’t prevent and you can’t fix—–this is all that and on steroids to boot.

  4. Oh and another thing: this incredible $70 million dollar cap on damages payable by any oil company in a drilling mishap, apparently set by Congress: WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT????!!!!!

    I’ve been sued, more than once. It’s a continuing occupational hazard. Last time I got sued for $96 million (premie twins, bad outcome) and I had never even met or seen the mom! (this happens, btw, and it happened to me)

    But BP gets a special deal that their liability is less than mine (which is apparently limitless)?
    Fuck that noise!!

  5. Canada? Really? Another Kyoto-treating-ignoring, oil-dependent, sprawl addicted, car-culture nation? Haven’t spoken to your cousin the tar sands lately, have you, oil spill? He’s almost as bad as you are.

    As for the residents of the Gulf Coast, they by and large asked for all that drilling so I don’t feel too sorry for them dealing with your mess. Unless you’re talking about the non-human residents of the Gulf Coast. For them I cry.

  6. Yeah, right, like I’m gonna have a conversation with a fucking oil spill.

    Then again, it would probably be an improvement over having a conversation with Will.

  7. And just remember after the last Great American Oil Disaster in Alaska, SUV sales EXPLODED a couple of years later. Just keep that in mind.

    Heading home now to be amazed at the number of single occupancy vehicles on the road here in Seattle while I bike home. And no I don’t own a car. And yes I know that even my bike, my bus riding and my limited cab rides still use fossil fuels……

  8. Hate to admit it, @5, but you are very right. Per capita, Canadians are worse polluters than Americans. Our idiot government is also making noises about drilling in the Beaufort Sea. Imagine a spill like the Gulf, but trapped underneath a sheet of ice, so clean-up is impossible. Fabulous idea, morons.

  9. i would have appreciated this more if it was “shitty end of the slick” instead of “stick” just because that would be a really hilarious pun

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