An assembly of the hottest neighborhood on neighborhood on neighborhood action.

Look at this fucking hipster.
  • Magnolia Voice
  • Look at this fucking hipster.

Southern Baptists Take Over the Grand Illusion Cinema: A group of Southern Baptists who call themselves “Paradox” and evidently adhere to the Mark Driscoll’s brand of conservative trickery Christianity—young and hip OMG TATTOOS!—will start meeting on Sunday mornings at the Grand Illusion Cinema, which is named for some early work by Jean Renoir. Because nothing goes together like French cinema and Jesus*!

Strippers 1, Robbers 0: Maple Leaf Life reports that home robberies were down in their pretend hamlet in mid-May. But tension is still swirling in the neighborhood, as a new strip club—the hyper-literately named Pandora’s Adult Cabaret—is about to unleash all manner of sin upon Lake City Way.

But Does He Like Panda Bear?!?!!! Magnolia View reports that Ralph, who is maybe a retriever/border collie mix, definitely needs a home. Reportedly, he’s “a great guy, and a very dapper gentleman.” I think he looks like a hipster poseur. I mean, that neckerchief. And he’s a couch surfer. All he’s missing is fleas and an eating disorder…

*Well, except for maybe French cinema and existentialism. Or secular humanism. Or nihilism. Or hedonism…

9 replies on “Southern Baptists Invite Jesus to the Movies, Sin Down in Maple Leaf, and Adopt-a-Hipster”

  1. A Baptist group named “Paradox”? Trying to participate in real society?

    Argh. I think I just sprained my brain trying to figure out if they’re uncomfortably self-aware or even more uncomfortably oblivious.

  3. I wish I could have a dog at my place… that guy seems like he’d be awesome to have around for a few 4:30am electroclash nostalgia seshes.

  4. dogs have been wearing bandanas as long as there have been both dogs and bandanas. I carry one in my bag (a bandana, not a dog) specifically in case I need to sass up a dog.

  5. That dog is clearly DYING to chew your shoes to death, run just out of your reach when you have to let go of the leash for one second, and definitely also wants to roll all over the dead skunk in the park. That said he is adorable and if I lived in Seattle I’d want him too.

  7. Actually we’re showing Abbott & Costello meet Frankenstein and Infra-Man this week. With some XXX stuff coming later in June. Get the facts straight, man! It wasn’t even a good joke.

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