SPD’s Wild Goose Chase

Robberies are commonplace in Seattle. Lying is also pretty common. Seattle police officers have to deal with both on a pretty regular basis. But rarely are obvious lies and less-obvious robberies joined in such beautiful syncopation synchronicity as they are in the following police report.

In the early evening hours of November 2, officers were flagged down by a man in the 800 block of S Jackson Street. The man identified himself as the victim of a robbery that allegedly happened the previous afternoon. The victim told police that he was approached by a smallish Asian male who “covered something in his waist line” and told the victim to “give [him his] money and jewelry.” The victim said that he complied, handing over “an earring valued at $3000, a gold cross valued at $1500 and a gold chain valued at $2000.”

This is where the report gets confusing. The victim stated that after turning over the jewelry, he went to an ATM to withdraw $200 to “get his items back,” as if the suspect was running a coercive pawn shop out of his pants.

The report states that the victim contacted officers because he’d just spotted the suspect standing down the block. The officers searched the area, didn’t find the suspect, and so they left to write up the incident.

But wasn’t long before the victim called them back, this time directing them to an address in the 700 block of S King Street where the alleged suspect had been sighted. The victim also reportedly changed his story to say that the suspect had committed the robbery with a gun. The officer writes in his report, “I told [the victim] this wasn’t adding up. I asked him why he waited 30 hours to report an armed robbery with a gun.” The victim reportedly said that it was because he did not have a phone. The officer writes, “I told him that anyone would let him use a phone to call police. [The victim] became upset and walked away.”

That did not stop him from calling again (as he was apparently having no trouble procuring a phone on this day). The report states the victim called to say he was “buying drugs from the suspect in the 600 block of S King ST.” He asked for helping in getting his items back. The reporting officer must have been exasperated by this point, leading him to report, “I told him to be straight we (sic) me.”

More fun with SPD after the jump!

The victim apparently complied, telling the officer that the robbery had actually occurred that day—not the previous day—after he got off a bus at the corner of 8th Ave and S Jackson Street. The officer reports, “He saw the suspect and asked him if he could buy 2 grams of weed. When he pulled out his money, the suspect said he wanted it all and his jewelry.” The victim complied because the suspect reportedly “had his hand on his belt as if to conceal a knife, not (a) gun.”

The officer then “sat in the parking lot under I-5 for 40 minutes,” looking for the suspect. No dice. He then left.

The victim called again. He met with police at the corner of 7th Ave and S King St to ask if they had found the suspect. After telling him no, the officer writes, “He said his mother would be upset with the stolen jewelry as it belonged to her.” (sad trombone)

The officers said they’d keep looking and I’d like to think that the alleged victim will keep calling, and this loop will continue in a beautiful feedback until all parties retire.