Star Sounders Player Leaves All-Star Game Over Widdle Headache

1. As a WIDDLE side note.

   The person who created this blog making fun of migraines can try this WIDDLE experiment.

   Take a screwdriver (flathead or phillips) and drop it into some dry ice. After about two hours remove it from the dry ice with your eye socket (kinda like you are winking at someone with your WIDDLE blue eyes).

   While the tip of that screwdriver is implanted into your brain I want you to find the smallest little person you can with a rubber mallet who will gently SMASH that fucking screwdriver a little bit deeper into your skull.

   While this is going on I want you to have Her royal greatness Paris Hilton standing over you repeating “That’s HOT” NONSTOP….while she is flicking on and off and on and off Flourescent lightbulbs….with her best friend for life Nicole Richie (MEGAPHONE IN HAND) repeating “LOVE IT!”

   Oh yeah…..this all has to be done at 5am…after a 5 day drinking binge of nothing but MONARCH liqour…I’m talking all of ’em.

   RUM, TEQUILA, GIN, VODKA, WHISKEY….and every single drink must involve apple pucker and red bull. More sugar…more hangover.

   At the same time….right when you think that it’s just starting to subside….that maybe that ice on the back of your neck is making the swelling of the veins in your FUCKING BRAIN go down….I WANT YOU TO LET Freddie Ljungberg KICK YOU SQUARE IN THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ TAINT.

   Maybe after that experience you won’t make light of this problem that many people face on a daily basis for most of their adult life.

2. and HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS TO NUMBER 47.

   “Throw on some pads and play some real football and I might check it out.”

   you are a fucking douche.

   did you say that out loud whilst you typed?

   soccer is football.

   football is….wait….how many people can use their feet in american football? I hate even calling it that…because we have a good MLS team….finally.

   I hate stupid douchebags.

3. @45, 47: We already have real women’s football; we have for years. The Seattle Majestics play in the IWFL. Full-contact women’s football. Pads, helmets, tackling, injuries, the whole thing. They’ve been playing for years, they’re the best in their division, and for some reason, they’ve never even been mentioned on the Slog.

   @52: Four minutes on wikipedia would tell you that ‘football’ originally referred to a variety of games in medieval Europe which were played on foot, as opposed to on horseback. And that’s a fucking stupid asshole argument anyway. Hurr durr there’s no crickets in cricket, hargle bargle how come they don’t have any rugs in rugby blurrrr durrr. Go fuck yourself, you stupid fucking shit-for-brains.

4. And that’s a fucking stupid asshole argument anyway. Hurr durr there’s no crickets in cricket, hargle bargle how come they don’t have any rugs in rugby blurrrr durrr. Go fuck yourself, you stupid fucking shit-for-brains.

   Holy shit that is hilarious.

   For the record, I like both futbol and football. Football has lots of strategy that many futbol people don’t understand. Yes, there are hits, but there are lots of great plays. Futbol also has lots of strategy and some wicked contact, depending on the teams playing.

   Freddie is hella hawt, and the Housh is gonna take the Seahawks to the superbowl.

   Can’t we all just get along?

5. Awesome!
    
   Here was my experience with migraines, in the order that they occurred.  Luckily I grew out of them after going through this about 20 times.
    
   1)      Sparkly dots around my field of vision, which are very helpful, as they tell you to get the fuck home right now.
   2)      A blind spot on the right side that grew until encompassing about 1/3rd of my entire field of vision.
   3)      Total numbness of my right arm.
   4)       Loss of ability to speak.  I could understand other people, yet couldn’t come up with a reply.  I would inevitably try to say things and have no idea if I was making any sense.  This makes it really hard to tell people what the hell is going on.
   5)      The headache. 
   6)      The puking.
   7)      The puking.
   8)      The puking.
   9)      12 hours later, able to drink water and not puke it up.
   10)   1 week later, feeling normal again.
    
   I’ve read that Ljungberg’s symptoms are similar.

6. Voice, why the hell are you so defensive. I was referring to the women’s “football” team the Seattle mist.

   And Ben, thank you for the tip on the Seattle Majestics! I will check it out!

7. I like how Jonah didn’t mention that Ljungberg played the WHOLE game, with only a 15 minute break for half time. Where I may remind you he complained about the migrane but chose to play through it. I don’t know about you but if I was paying some 1.5 million a season I would send him to the hospital if he had a cough. Anyone that questions Ljungbergs toughness does not deserve a second thought.

8. 45, nobody knows anything about soccer, the MLS all-star game got beat in the ratings by the WNBA. Of course the payrolls are low, they can’t afford more, nobody cares. And that ownership system sucks, why would I want one company owning all the teams, sounds like radio, no thanks, soccer sucks.

9. Holy Roller,

   So basically the soccer franchise is like the special olymics of sports franchises. We love what they do, we root for them, say their best, everyone is special for going out on the field and giving it their all …

   but really please …

   It’s SOCCER for crying out loud. For all the athletism, and footwork, and yes TALENT!

   I can’t wrap my head around going to a 40 minute game and seeing a score of

   2-2, 0-0 … not unless I was totally shit faced.

   And the goals, when they may or may not happen, and the team collectively jizzes in their pants, it’s just too much, and then the game ties so it doesn’t even matter.

   I hate pro basketball for the 120-135 games, and i hate soccer for stupid low scores and ties.

10. 55. Man, Anfield, those are some terrible migraines! Symptoms like that would seem like strokes. I sympathize. I mean… losing vision because of the aura is part of the migraine package, but if I lost feeling in limbs as well I’d get real worried.

    But that’s me. I’m glad you don’t get them anymore, though.

11. My step-mother used to give me midrin shots for my migraines. I’ve learned how to raise my body temp by 7 degrees by thinking warm. This helps relieve the swelling of veins.

    I believe it’s seratonin getting pumped through too much so your brain tells it to stop, then it all releases at once and causes the migraine. So while running around it would keep this from happening, but as soon as halftime happened and he rested this process was set forth.

    As soon as he started back up he most likely would have had spike headaches…in the background.

    It wouldn’t have been until he stopped completely that it began to get worse and worse….

    to former tri state – my bad. I seriously did not see that you were talking about the seattle mist. I thought you were speaking of soccer with that statement.

    to Ben – Alrighty then.

    1. Cricket – better than american football.
    2. Rugby – better than american football.
    3. Soccer(futbol)is a game played on foot with a ball that originated where? And the original meaning of futbol very well might be what you are describing….but the current generations meaning is entirely different(we aren’t dining at Medievil Times, so let’s not define current terms with past definitions).

    Also if it only took you four minutes to read the entire history of futbol, then you must be a speed reading fool…either that, or you spent four minutes reading this section.

    “While it is widely believed that the word “football” (or “foot ball”) originated in reference to the action of the foot kicking a ball, there is a rival explanation, which has it that football originally referred to a variety of games in medieval Europe, which were played on foot.[1] These games were usually played by peasants, as opposed to the horse-riding sports often played by aristocrats. While there is no conclusive evidence for this explanation, the word football has always implied a variety of games played on foot, not just those that involved kicking a ball. In some cases, the word football has even been applied to games which have specifically outlawed kicking the ball.”

    If you were to go on further in the definition you would read this.

    While football continued to be played in various forms throughout Britain, its public schools (known as private schools in other countries) are widely credited with four key achievements in the creation of modern football codes. First of all, the evidence suggests that they were important in taking football away from its “mob” form and turning it into an organised team sport. Second, many early descriptions of football and references to it were recorded by people who had studied at these schools. Third, it was teachers, students and former students from these schools who first codified football games, to enable matches to be played between schools. Finally, it was at English public schools that the division between “kicking” and “running” (or “carrying”) games first became clear.

    The earliest evidence that games resembling football were being played at English public schools — mainly attended by boys from the upper, upper-middle and professional classes — comes from the Vulgaria by William Horman in 1519. Horman had been headmaster at Eton and Winchester colleges and his Latin textbook includes a translation exercise with the phrase “We wyll playe with a ball full of wynde”.[citation needed]

    Richard Mulcaster, a student at Eton College in the early 16th century and later headmaster at other English schools, has been described as “the greatest sixteenth Century advocate of football”.[16] Among his contributions are the earliest evidence of organised team football. Mulcaster’s writings refer to teams (“sides” and “parties”), positions (“standings”), a referee (“judge over the parties”) and a coach “(trayning maister)”. Mulcaster’s “footeball” had evolved from the disordered and violent forms of traditional football:

    [s]ome smaller number with such overlooking, sorted into sides and standings, not meeting with their bodies so boisterously to trie their strength: nor shouldring or shuffing one an other so barbarously … may use footeball for as much good to the body, by the chiefe use of the legges.

    —[citation needed]
    In 1633, David Wedderburn, a teacher from Aberdeen, mentioned elements of modern football games in a short Latin textbook called “Vocabula.” Wedderburn refers to what has been translated into modern English as “keeping goal” and makes an allusion to passing the ball (“strike it here”). There is a reference to “get hold of the ball”, suggesting that some handling was allowed. It is clear that the tackles allowed included the charging and holding of opposing players (“drive that man back”).[citation needed]

    A more detailed description of football is given in Francis Willughby’s Book of Games, written in about 1660.[17] Willughby, who had studied at Sutton Coldfield School, is the first to describe goals and a distinct playing field: “a close that has a gate at either end. The gates are called Goals.” His book includes a diagram illustrating a football field. He also mentions tactics (“leaving some of their best players to guard the goal”); scoring (“they that can strike the ball through their opponents’ goal first win”) and the way teams were selected (“the players being equally divided according to their strength and nimbleness”). He is the first to describe a “law” of football: “they must not strike [an opponent’s leg] higher than the ball”.[citation needed]

    These are not the rules of American Football (or Gridiron Football, as it is also called). And the actual start of Futbol does not match your Medievil Times definition that you pulled out of your Wikpedia using ass. As I stated earlier, it very may well be that this term was originally describing playing on foot versions of horseback games, but it later (and more importantly) was used to define the game that every single country besides N.America knows as Futbol.

    Not Rugby, Not Cricket, and not American Football.

    But why have I even bothered typing all this for you? You couldn’t even seem to read your way past the introduction to the entire description of the history of Futbol, so you certainly won’t make it this far into my post.

    If you have read this far, then how about you read the rest of the history of futbol, and back-up your statement with facts and actual knowledge of what you are speaking about. Rather than with Hargle bargle and wiggle waggles.

    You learn so much more about things when you read the entire article, and then you don’t look like a shit-for-brains.

    “During the early 1860s, there were increasing attempts in England to unify and reconcile the various public school games. In 1862, J. C. Thring, who had been one of the driving forces behind the original Cambridge Rules, was a master at Uppingham School and he issued his own rules of what he called “The Simplest Game” (these are also known as the Uppingham Rules). In early October 1863 another new revised version of the Cambridge Rules was drawn up by a seven member committee representing former pupils from Harrow, Shrewsbury, Eton, Rugby, Marlborough and Westminster.

    At the Freemasons’ Tavern, Great Queen Street, London on the evening of October 26, 1863, representatives of several football clubs in the London Metropolitan area met for the inaugural meeting of The Football Association (FA). The aim of the Association was to establish a single unifying code and regulate the playing of the game among its members. Following the first meeting, the public schools were invited to join the association. All of them declined, except Charterhouse and Uppingham. In total, six meetings of the FA were held between October and December 1863. After the third meeting, a draft set of rules were published. However, at the beginning of the fourth meeting, attention was drawn to the recently published Cambridge Rules of 1863. The Cambridge rules differed from the draft FA rules in two significant areas; namely running with (carrying) the ball and hacking (kicking opposing players in the shins). The two contentious FA rules were as follows:

    IX. A player shall be entitled to run with the ball towards his adversaries’ goal if he makes a fair catch, or catches the ball on the first bound; but in case of a fair catch, if he makes his mark he shall not run.

    X. If any player shall run with the ball towards his adversaries’ goal, any player on the opposite side shall be at liberty to charge, hold, trip or hack him, or to wrest the ball from him, but no player shall be held and hacked at the same time.

    —[53][54]
    At the fifth meeting it was proposed that these two rules be removed. Most of the delegates supported this, but F. M. Campbell, the representative from Blackheath and the first FA treasurer, objected. He said: “hacking is the true football”. However, the motion to ban running with the ball in hand and hacking was carried and Blackheath withdrew from the FA. After the final meeting on 8 December, the FA published the “Laws of Football”, the first comprehensive set of rules for the game later known as football (later known in some countries as soccer).

    The first FA rules still contained elements that are no longer part of association football, but which are still recognisable in other games (most notably Australian football): for instance, a player could make a fair catch and claim a mark, which entitled him to a free kick; and if a player touched the ball behind the opponents’ goal line, his side was entitled to a free kick at goal, from 15 yards (13.5 metres) in front of the goal line.”

12. Voice …

    how about this? Cricket, sucks, baseball pretty much sucks … and soccoer

    There is one thing about football, rugby, lacross, and hockey. It’s the DIVERSITY of builds of and athletism that gets incorporated into the stratagy. With respect to soccer, you really don’t see that much of it. Someone is just naturally a better striker … or he isn’t then they make him a midfielder. If he is a little larger than average, then he usually a sweeper.

    With respect to just about every other reasonably contact or field sport, there is a more diverse range of talents on the field that are utilized for various stratagies. With rugy especially, you have your bigger thugs up front to create your line, and you have your backs to move around the field. It’s much much more interesting to see a bunch of 5’10” twigs kick the ball around with little purpose.

    I’m totally with you on the headache thing. I used to get migraines durring college, that went away durring swim practice, but would come back with a vengence at the end of the night. They were so bad one night, I had to ask for an extension on a P-chem take home exam.

    Maybe soccer games are like a grateful dead show, most of the concerts were HORRIBLE, but you went for the spectacle that was the event. If you dared say that Jerry was to fucked up to be on stage, you were immediately executed for being a blasphemere.

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