Meet Kyle Regan: a masochistic reader who has vowed to do every single thing recommended by the Stranger Suggests (movies, galleries, bars, concerts) for the month of January. Look for his reports daily on Slog. —Eds.

Last night’s The Stranger suggested Sherlock Holmes. Most movie theaters appeal to audiences with shiny décor and an inviting lobby. Not Metro Cinemas. They don’t go in for that kind of pandering. Broken chairs, inoperable water fountain, dirty floors, Alvin and The Chipmunks signage. I have been a Metro customer since elementary school, though, and it’s comfortable.

I see about one or two new films a month. Fairly regular, but not an exceptionally large number for someone my age. I didn’t read Lindy West’s review, which is about me not her writing. I avoid reviews, blogs, and extended trailers because I like seeing a movie with almost no idea what it’s about—it makes it more exciting.

I don’t know how Mr. Holmes usually operates, but watching him opening a can of whoop-ass definitely took me by surprise. Instead of the detective story with action elements, Sherlock Holmes is the reverse. Five minutes don’t go by without someone getting punched, shot, or murdered. It made the movie move along nicely, but the detective aspect got so little play that I felt like an unobservant dolt when Holmes revealed all in final few minutes.

The movie was fun but as a Suggests this was a bit of a let down. While I enjoyed the film, I can’t help but feel like a movie—especially one that’s not underground, revolutionary, or exceptional—is too easy and too obvious. It says, “not much going on,” and, “we phoned this one in.” And I probably would’ve seen it anyway.

I’m looking forward to some raw oysters.

12 replies on “Suggestible: Sherlock Holmes”

  2. Thanks for the -raw oysters- link. Stranger Suggests rocks! Bethany is poetry.
    Hey, I’ve spread my oyster shell over to the Seattle Times. I believe there are as many assholes coments over there as is here, but at least they’re probably coming from a more mature demographic. Eh, gotta try new things. Take flight, laters.
    http://community.seattletimes.nwsource.c…

  5. I agree with what Kyle said about Sherlock Holmes. I enjoyed it okay, but wouldn’t recommend/”suggest” it, and definitely didn’t get a mystery fix from it.

  6. I’ve made it a new rule to avoid films that feature people running from balls of fire…it’s a cliche that needs to be destroyed.

  7. Re: the lack of time lavished on the mystery … according to my boyfriend, this is sort of true to the Holmesian style.

    The problem is that there’s not much mystery behind the villain (we know who he is from the get-go) and his motivations are entirely transparent. There are no social entanglements, no hidden motives, no surprises. I rather like the questioning of people and examining their relationships to divine intentions and aims. Apparently this is a contrivance of “modern” mystery lovers.

    We KNOW Blackwood used trickery to achieve his supernatural effects, and that’s entertaining to a point, but the problem is that the film made that the central mystery when it should have been a footnote.

  10. dewds, yalz dont ‘get’ the stranger. they’re not only out to slip ‘mad hype’ to underground or revolutionary media, but rather to find the largest, deepest, and most throbbingly orgasmic pleasure point in the city. it’s about rad jams, big explosions, and naked bods yo

  11. I like that there might be a bit of honesty in the Stranger Suggests, which has been lacking. A couple days ago, it was suggested that you go to the Eastlake Zoo for a whiskey when the EZ only serves beer and wine. Quite an educated suggestion, and I didn’t see anyone cop to be lazy on that one.

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