It couldn’t have been at a better bar, with a better group of Sloggers—the Twilight Exit was perfect for last night’s Slog Happy gift exchange/one-year anniversary. There was pool, there was a jukebox, there was a white, cloud-like dog running around… and there was, of course, plenty of chicken-fried bacon…
And lots and lots of presents.
I walked away with an autographed polaroid of Joh doing his best Matthew McConaughey impersonation. I’m holding on to it, it will be worth thousands in a few years. Other gifts included a “personal massager,” an inflatable snake hat, zombie porn, a hand-knitted dick sweater, the new Gavin Rossdale CD, a bunch of L. Ron Hubbard books, an alligator cup cozy, a framed painting of a zombie, and so much more that I can’t remember because it was a flurry of gift wrap and bacon and bows and candy canes and people hugging and laughing and being so much nicer in person to each other than they are in the comments.
Slog Happy + Holiday magic = big love fest.
What’d you get at Slog Happy? Also, what should we do for next month? It’ll be the first Slog Happy of 2009!
I got the L. Ron Hubbard books. They’re the “pulp” ones Paul posted about. It was a dark day in the history of white elephant gifts.
Luckily, w7ngman got a tiger shirt, which is now mine, and I took home the giant, creepy Santa that no one else wanted. It was a really good Slog Happy.
Also, if anyone else would like a holiday dick sweater, I’m pretty sure I could convince Dana to make you one. She will NOT need to see you for a fitting.
i got a rock.
@1
I have an interesting story about those.
I got a lovingly decorated mix-CD from Abby (traded for the Gavin Rossdale CD), and a copy of the novelization of the critically acclaimed television series “My So-Called Life.” Yay 1994! I can’t wait to find out if Angela and Jordan will totally make-out.
I got a Nightmare Before Christmas 2-disc special edition. So pretty decent. Which means I need something else to bring to my company’s White Elephant exchange next Friday…
My vote is for karaoke, but only if Paul performs.
(@4: have you attempted to listen to it yet?)
what should we do for next month?
Have it in St. Louis 🙁
Or Toronto? It snowed here today! Eh? Eh?
I was too shy to go in all alone, so I just got a facial in the alley.
I accidentally left my Nads hair remover instructional video behind! But that is my hand dipping the chicken fried bacon in that picture, so I can authentically tell you that chicken fried bacon is the best gift received last night!
i got herpes.
thanks for the gift that keeps on giving, unnamed stranger employee.
size 8. no pink drawstring.
I got a really cool CD, not as good as Abby’s mix CD, but it’s the best of the best music.
Hope someone liked the chocolate turtle.
(now we know who was in that car, huh, mb?)
somebody else got the Grey’s Anatomy and Eli Stone DVDs – lucky!
First I just wanted whatever was in the horse bag. When I found out Aislinn brought it, I knew I had to have it. I got a beaded and crocheted dick sweater, a Man Ray book, and a wierd Bible-for-kids flyer. I’m particularly excited about the dick sweater, my husband is understandably not.
I apologize to whomever may have rec’d my rejift – “The Mandarin” – probably the worst book I’ve never read. Next time, I’ll bring you homemade Russian teacakes to makeup for this lapse in taste. Had to leave early – glad you got the shirt, W7ngman (19).
@5, not yet…. 🙂
@1, I wonder, was the dick sweater invented in response to an actual need for penile warmth? Have any of the sloggers experienced cold cock?
dick sweaters are teh awesome. Alas, as Aislinn said last night, they only come in flaccid sizes. I want a “full on” model. We could call it the Diamond Cutter Cozy, and sell it on QVC.
@14 – no, we were just trying to think what would be a funny present, as I recall. And since a few were knitters, and we’d been talking about cold feet and needing wool socks and stuff, it just kind of happened.
Coming Soon!
The Dick Beret!
Available in Plus Grande sizes at any fine French store.
Smaller models available for Germans.
@14, 16: Nope, Dana just offered to make me some “cock socks” in response to a facebook query over what to bring, and I preferred the term “dick sweater.” Dana is an imaginative girl.
@15: Actually, the prototype (sans pony beads) was full-sized, but we figured penises were probably more cold while soft, so made the final version fit more snugly.
Silly Scary – that was your HALLOWEEN jift!
@18 Cock sock and dick sweater are both good names, but what about “cock cozy”?
I got MINI build your own stone henge, which I will assemble on my coffee table later and take a picture of. But after people started opening presents, I was SURE mine was the crappiest present on the table. But Lindy West got my present, and she fucking LOVED it. It was amazing how much she loved that present. Wow. Now what will Lindy West do with the magical shiny stones that she is the proud new owner of?
@20: Oooooh, that’s a good one. That makes it sound like something someone might actually want to own.
I got a girls size Slog t-shirt (read: does not fit), which I have since re-gifted to a petite female friend of mine. I also got season 4 of Lost – since I’ve never seen the show before, I was instructed by at least 5 people that I have to rent or borrow and watch the previous three seasons first.
I woke up this morning with a shitty winter cold, so I hope I didn’t pass the germs to anyone else!
@20 and 22… How about cock snuggie?
“Socks on Cocks”?
I’ll never be able to read Dr. Seuss again…
I got a free drink from Hernandez… let’s hope I didn’t get his cold as well.
Oh, and ONE rubber glove.
That jukebox sucked. A jukebox without Trout Mask Replica on it? In Seattle? What? The? FUCK?
Hernandez! Aren’t you aware that you can watch every season of Lost online for free? Yeah, since the show’s plot is so intense, I guess they figured it would be a good idea.
I’m sorry I missed it. Hopefully, you will one day have this event at a place that has a champagne fountain, or will allow me to bring my champagne fountain.
But I’m not springing for champagne. I’m not made of money, you know. Besides, champagne out of a champagne fountain is pretty gross. It goes flat almost immediately.
But that’s not the point now, is it?
I received a clear glass bottle, filled with some sort of ruby-colored alcoholic beverage, covered with cellophane tape, under which were trapped scores of nearly worthless US currency known as “coins.” Sources tell me that the beverage was intended for charity, or rather for those who use their riches to prop up charities, and that by agreeing to keep the bottle for myself, I was robbing said charity. I felt a twinge of guilt for keeping the bottle and, in fact, if I had been asked nicely to release it by one of the less fortunate folk who live – or at least spend quality time – on the dark streets outside the Twilight, I surely would have acquiesced.
I also gave the two worst – and worst-wrapped – presents at the event. For that, I apologize. And I have tasked myself with reviewing one of the free books that Mr. Constant was distributing. (“Distributing” is being charitable. Paul just left the books on the gift table, and there were still two of them left after hours of revelry. Pathetic.)
Okay, this is not an idea for Jan, but an idea for a future Slog Happy Hour. How about plan a special “out of towners” Slog happy hour? Give everyone a few months notice, kinda like a reunion, have it on a Friday or Saturday night so us out of staters can get there. THat would be so awesome!