OK, maybe this time. THIS ONE TIME.
Steven McCormack had fallen between the cab and the trailer of his truck, breaking the air hose.
The nozzle pierced his buttock and began pumping air into his body, which expanded dramatically.
As he screamed, Mr McCormack’s colleagues turned the air off and laid him on his side, saving his life.
…He said that doctors had told him they were surprised that his skin had not burst, as the compressed air – pumping into his body at 100lb/sq in – had separated fat from muscle.
“I felt the air rush into my body and I felt like it was going to explode from my foot.
“I was blowing up like a football… it felt like I had the bends, like in diving. I had no choice but just to lay there, blowing up like a balloon,” he told the local newspaper, the Whakatane Beacon.
He said his skin feels “like a pork roast”, hard and crackly on the outside but soft underneath.
I am concerned about his dangerously high residual levels of simile.
Believe it or not, this is not an entirely uncommon industrial accident. I was actually warned about this scenario when working with compressed air in a lab. The hose does not actually have to be up the ass. A hose even adjacent to the ass can cause this problem if you have enough pressure.
Plus, it doesn’t appear to have entered his rectum. Rather, it was pumping straight into his muscle tissue.
No, it wasn’t anywhere near his rectum. But it’s Slog – why let the facts get in the way of a good story, right?
Ask Kiley about McGregor and “accidental” slipping.
Tripped.
Fell.
Landed on the air hose.
Zeugma thinks anal sex occurs when the penis enters the buttocks, not the anus.
That actually sounds terrifying. Also, since he’s recovering, I liked the last sentence in the article:
“Mr. McCormack confided that the air was gradually escaping his body in the way that air usually does.”
Horrifying. Glad he’s OK.
Damn! I’ve read some expansive tales before, but this one’s expatiation swells my skepticism.
HORRIFYING. OMG.