TripAdvisor.com’s ten worst-rated hotels: bedbugs, stains of all kinds on surfaces of all kinds, hilarious user-generated content (“I’d rather DIE of HAEMORRHOIDS, than have to stay here AGAIN!”), and my favorite entry so far, about the Tropicana Resort Hotel in Virginia Beach:

A member of the staff is a peeping tom! When we checked in, the Manager offered us a free upgrade to the “Honeymoon Suite”. It was a set up. The “Honeymoon Suite” had a vacant room next door that was “under construction”. I was undressed to get into my swimsuit and heard breathing. I felt someone staring at me. I looked under the big gap under the adjoining room door. I saw eyes looking back at me! I freaked out and my husband (we were newlyweds) looked under the door and the guy was still there. We called the front desk and they send Maintenance up. Maintenance said there was no one next door because it was vacant. He knocked on the door to prove his point and, low and behold, the Manager answers!

More here.

Brend an Kiley has worked as a child actor in New Orleans, as a member of the junior press corps at the 1988 Republican National Convention, and, for one happy April, as a bootlegger’s assistant in Nicaragua....

11 replies on “The Dirtiest Hotels”

  1. Oh, I love these. If you read enough Tripadvisor reports, you start to get a feel for them, and you can spot the kind of people who just won’t be satisfied by anything short of Buckingham Palace, and you can also spot the places like these. I liked the story by the couple whose room door slammed shut in the wind and the door handle came off in their hand and maintenance had to kick the door in to get them out. I’ve stayed in hotels like that.

  2. Awesome. Reminds me of the time when we stayed in a motel in Grand Junction, Colorado, and ants got over some teething biscuits we had put way up on a shelf in a closed box. They told us we shouldn’t leave food out, like we had left dirty dishes and open Chinese carry-out on the floor.

  3. I’ve got a few horror stories I could tell, but honestly, there are only a few. Not bad considering that I’ve spent a respectable amount of time in motel/hotel rooms in my life.

  4. My favorite was the Feathers hotel in Liverpool, which had shag carpeting in the bathroom but no shower door or curtain, and had water dripping heavily from upstairs right through the only light fixture in the ceiling. The TV and the overhead light were on the same circuit, so you could have both or neither on, and you had to get out of bed and cross the room to turn them off (then make your way back in the dark through the mess left by the light fixture. It was the night of a Derby (Liverpool-Everton match), which meant the surrounding streets and hallways were chockablock with shouting, fighting, vomiting drunkards until 6 AM. There were numerous gunshots right outside our window. In the morning, the absolutely putrid steam-table breakfast was attended by a roomful of stinking, red-faced, still wasted gents who all looked and sounded like they were going to die horribly right there on the floor.

    Liverpool’s one of my favorite cities!

  5. NO JOKE! I have stayed in the Tropicana. My friend and I got the cheapest room when we were both 21. We have a hilarious video of VISIBLE DRIED HEADBOARD JIZZ (impressive!) and the badart.com quality paintings used to hide holes in the wall in really random places (“Why is this painting hung three feet from the ground?”). It actually looks like they’ve snazzied it up a bit since we were there.

  9. I recommend you check out the reviews for Camelot Castle in Tintagel. We didn’t read them until we arrived for dinner at the restaurant, sensed a weird vibe, and checked TripAdvisor on our iPhone. The place is a Scientology front, and all kinds of freaky fun.

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