NPR discovers a disturbing new trend:
The hookup—that meeting and mating ritual that started among high school and college students—is becoming a trend among young people who have entered the workaday world.
It’s a classic sex panic piece—young people having casual secks!—and the culture of hooking up is described as a dire emotional and social crisis. But based on the results of the poll at the bottom of Brenda Wilson’s piece, it doesn’t look like NPR’s listeners are quite buying it.
Nothing new? I was in HS in the 1950’s. Many back then “went steady,” but even so, sexual intimacy was never a part of their relationships except for a few, and then it was only after the couple had dated for quite a long time. Even a good night kiss at the door was an issue. How many dates should take place before such a kiss was appropriate?
Any girl who got the reputation for being “easy” was looked at with disdain. Even boys who dated these few were looked at as unscrupulous opportunists and other girls refused to date them due to their inordinate interest in sex.
So yes, sexual morays have changed considerably since I was a teen.
Nothing new? I was in HS in the 1950’s. Many back then “went steady,” but even so, sexual intimacy was never a part of their relationships except for a few, and then it was only after the couple had dated for quite a long time. Even a good night kiss at the door was an issue. How many dates should take place before such a kiss was appropriate?
Any girl who got the reputation for being “easy” was looked at with disdain. Even boys who dated these few were looked at as unscrupulous opportunists and other girls refused to date them due to their inordinate interest in sex.
So yes, sexual morays have changed considerably since I was a teen.
Bill … yes and no. I would suggest promiscuity was dependent on class. Lower class and poverty had higher levels of promiscuity. Didn’t the 1950’s also have the highest and incidence of juvenile delinquency?
If you didn’t get married young, then didn’t you enter a culture of “hooking up” as you moved throughout your 20’s, such as high school and college.
Thank you facebook, but going back in time … I’m more amazed at who WASN’T having sex in high school. People were having sex in high school, but by no means was it the majority and half the supposed sex was simple talk.
In Dan’s role as The Outrageous One, he’s getting carried away here. The piece wasn’t panicked, and frankly, the fact that less than a quarter find it “fun,” 8% find it either empowering or liberating, and ALL THE REST are either apathetic or downright negative about it . . . well, if someone wanted to postulate that it’s a bad trend, that’s a pretty defensible breakdown.
Dan pretty much supports people sticking anything anywhere with zero of that “panicky” commitment that used to go with it, so of course he’s not going to like NPR pointing out that people are having meaningless sex everywhere.
Have you noticed, that people are still having sex?
All the denouncement had absolutely no effect.
Parents and counselors constantly scorn them.
But people are still having sex and nothing seems to stop them.
So perhaps the 30-45% of people who like hooking up should keep hooking up, and everyone else should refrain from hooking up? Although if you never even kiss anyone with whom you’re not well-acquainted, you’re not going to have a whole lot of second dates.
And I love how “hooking up” basically doesn’t have a definition. Does having a FWB count? I mean, I clearly knew these people – quite well, in fact – so does that mean it wasn’t “hooking up” since it wasn’t a stranger? These things ARE important as they will influence people’s perceptions of the activity. If most people who are “hooking up” are just knocking boots with a friend that they have no romantic feelings for, I would think people would have less of a problem with that than one-night stands. And people would have even less of a problem with “hooking up” if it mostly consisted of marathon make-out sessions. Also, less hysteria since I imagine the incidence of random make-outs and regular FWB sex is higher than that of one-night stands. Teenagers and college students may do lots of dumb things, but I never knew many who would have loads and loads of one-night stands with random strangers. Not that one-night stands are ALWAYS dumb, but they often are, especially if you’re a het woman. I don’t care if that’s sexist, and I’m not referring to emotional issues, a woman is at more physical risk than a man in a situation like that.
I’ve read a book explaining where does the hookup behavior come from. Some researches demonstrate that the rise of women’s rights, popularization of the birth control pills, the friendship between the sexes and later marriage evolved free relationships and casual-sex in 60’s-70’s. Frankly speaking, I don’t really believe that hooking up prevents people from getting into relationships, I do hope it’s just a new pathway into relationships, because many of them started with it.