In case you missed it, the Onion ran a fantastic piece this week about Planned Parenthood’s latest plot to kill teh behbehs by opening an $8 billion Abortionplex in Topeka, Kansas. The piece is effective because it doesn’t bother attacking anti-choice arguments—instead, it parrots them almost exactly:
“Although we’ve traditionally dedicated 97 percent of our resources to other important services such as contraception distribution, cancer screening, and STD testing, this new complex allows us to devote our full attention to what has always been our true passion: abortion,” said [Planned Parenthood president Cecile] Richards, standing under a banner emblazoned with Planned Parenthood’s new slogan, “No Life Is Sacred.”
The article goes onto say that the space also features “amenities such as coffee shops, bars, dozens of restaurants and retail outlets, a three-story nightclub, and a 10-screen multiplex theater—features intended not only to help clients relax, but to foster a sense of community and make abortion more of a social event.”
Because this is obviously hilarious, it’s made the rounds on the internet. Someone even created a Yelp site where you can share your superfun Abortionplex experience.
But a few people were left out of the joke, namely anti-choice Facebookers, who took the article literally, and reposted it with outraged comments.
For example: “PAID FOR WITH TAX DOLLARS…MAKE (sic) ME SICK!”
Morning sickness makes me sick, which is why I’m planning all my abortions at the Abortionplex. Hell, I might even kill a few birds and bring a date. We can catch a screening of Fast Five afterward, while throwing back a few margaritas. NBD! Who’s with me?*
*To anyone who doesn’t understand satire, that last part was a joke. I would totally prefer a whiskey soda!
Really? Surely they didn’t miss the chance to put in a high-end “couples only” hotel so people could get pregnant and have the abortion in one easy visit?
Every time I hear a story about how some group of nimrods has taken an Onion article seriously, I can’t decide if my disappointment with humanity grows a little or shrinks a little.
Awesome! Had to write a Yelp review of my own.
The anti-choicers who took this article seriously display a characteristic that is a large part of why I am a liberal: a major lack of any sense of humor. Really, you dumb fucks are so far out in the mental boonies that you don’t know the Onion is a satire publication? Why don’t you try reading something besides the bible and the Left Behind series? Better yet, why don’t you quit living your lives to see the worst in people, which seems to be a function of most fundamentalist religionists.
It comes as no surprise that there is so much overlap between people who would uncritically accept an Onion article as fact and those who uncritically accept Silent Scream as fact.
I’m not interested unless I can get my abortion *while* watching a movie at the Multiplex.
ladies, methinks its time to book a flight+hotel to the Topeka metro area ’cause it’s even better w/ the groupon discount. yay!
Teh innernetz have given humanity a GRAND PLATFORM on which to display its gob-stopping stoopidity.
I mean, we all knew that many humans are stoopid, but now in the innernet age, we can so handily prove it! Over and Over again!!
I especially love how the dumbshits jumped to the conclusion that it was funded by tax money, even though it doesn’t say that anywhere in the article. I guess conservatives are so accustomed to hearing their shithead overlords say that something they hate is tax-funded when it isn’t that they just assume it without having to be told, especially when you add it to their deification of the private sector, which as every right-winger knows never funds anything eye-poppingly awful.