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Apparently rock salt—the magical fairy dust of Seattle gripers—is becoming so expensive that cities are turning to other alternatives for clearing snow, including molasses, garlic salt, and “a rum-production byproduct that smells like soy sauce.”

29 replies on “The Molasses Economy”

  1. take that all you salt bitches who wined and complained asking why don’t we bankrupt Seattle with salt. yes that once expensive commodity is such again

  3. Salt has nothing to do with clearing snow. It’s used to melt ice once the snow has been plowed. If you can’t plow, there’s no point in salting. The same is probably ture of molasses, though the idea of creating the worlds largest molasses snow cone seems worth pursuing for its own sake.

  4. I think they’ve been using the byproduct solution for quite some time now – at least a decade, if my memory doesn’t fail me.

    Um, @2, bears and bees normally hibernate during the times we have snowfall … I’d be more worried about the beekeepers and hunters than the bees and the bears.

  5. Add a tablespoon of molasses to a gallon of water when you’re feeding your weed. It helps the flora and fauna in the soil and will give you nice, stinky buds! Don’t waste it on roads!

  8. And don’t forget, BIRD SEED. My brilliant neighbor (who didn’t shovel a single grain of snow from his sidewalk during the entire Snowpocalypse) spread about 80 lbs of birdseed out on his sidewalks.

    Maybe he though it might give people a little bit of traction as they walked by. It sure as hell didn’t melt any snow – his was the last sidewalk in the neighborhood to free itself of the white stuff (that was YESTERDAY).

    Now we have an enormous flock of starlings and pigeons in the neighborhood.

    I might just leave a shovel on his porch next time. Hopefully he’ll get the hint.

  11. mmmm bacon salt. don’t forget bacon mayo. that sweet sweet condiment that clogs arteries and makes smiles. spread that on you sidewalk and eat it.

  13. I’m envisioning the sticky gooey mess created by molasses on the streets.

    Well, at least it wouldn’t rust the fuck out of my car like salt will.

    All you salt advocates are really gonna regret this. After a couple of winters of salted roads, your cars are going to turn into rust buckets. Enjoy.

  17. When the next snowstorm comes, I’ll be prepared. I’m storing all of the sea salt off my caramels from Fran’s Chocolates. Do you think Obama’s affinity for her salted treats my drive up the cost of my snowstorm supply?

  18. I went to college in New England, and the rum-by product that smells like soy sauce was what they used on campus. It stinks.

    That is all.

  19. that “magical fairy dust” as you call it ecb sure did wonders when i poured a shit load of it all along the sidewalks in my neighborhood. so i’m not sure what you’re talking about. but then again, YOU probably don’t know what you’re talking about either.

  21. Why waste money on rock salt or brine, just encourage public urination. It’s green; it’s sustainable. It cost next to nothing, and by the abundance of evidence the city already has experienced people on the job. Nickels will love it.

  24. There’s a rumour that the dried up bones of embittered, pre-menopausal feminist writers make for good de-icer, but I’ve never bought into it…

  27. @ 13 — The active ingredient in that molasses mix is brine, i.e., salt water.

    It will rust the fuck out of your car, too … assuming it’s applied several times a year, and not a couple times a decade.

  29. @28, man, that’s a big couple of ‘if’s

    Eastern WA has been experimenting with spraying Darigold’s leftover whey on roads to de-ice them, with some success. They say they’re getting all the whey they want for free from Darigold. I’m sure you’ll come up with a reason why this is an atrocity

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