Every year on Valentine’s Day the Stranger hosts a very special event for the heartbroken, the recently dumped, the bitterly divorced. Single people bring mementos of failed relationships to our Valentine’s Day Bash and we invite them up on to the stage, we listen to their sad stories, we boo their awful exes, and then we destroy their mementos live onstage in front of a cheering crowd. Over the last 12 years we’ve burned wedding photos, weve smashed engagement rings to smithereens, shattered sex toys after dipping them in liquid nitrogen, had gay boys beat off on the favorite t-shirts of homophobic ex-boyfriends, and taped pictures inside urinals and broadcast live, streaming video of live, streaming urine running down the faces of lying, cheating, scheming, heartless ex-girlfriends.
The Bash is coming up fast—did you know that Valentine’s Day is on February 14 this year?—and you could consider this your save-the-date notice if you weren’t, you know, GOING TO BE ALONE ON VALENTINE’S DAY, seeing as you don’t have a date to save the date for BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT DUMPED. So instead consider this your personal invitation to start looking around for a memento to bring to the Bash. We don’t want to get all woo-woo about this, but we’ve heard from past Bash participants that they were truly moved by the experience and it did, on some level, help ’em heal. And, hey, if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, what better place to be than a room full of drunk, single people on the serious rebound?
And if anyone out there has any great new ideas for how we can destroy stuff at this year’s bash, share ’em in comments!
I feel compelled to comment on this post in order to get it on the most commented list.
where is this at?
21+?
Steal your ex’s most treasured possession and have Will in Seattle handle it.
Best. Idea. EVER.
But more importantly, are other brokenhearted saddies there willing to get drunk and make out at the end of the night? That’d really clinch it for me. I’m a cute girl who likes boys, so yall better be there too.
I think some of Dan’s private stash of nude pics of Fnarf would work best, actually.
Tell you what: I will rub my nude pictures of Fnarf all over Will. Everybody happy now?
I’d like to destroy a song I wrote about the man who used to love me so good. How exactly do we destroy a song?
This laughing combines with the sunshine like a most delicious cocktail.
random bodily fluids flying around mixed with booze and a fair amount of drugs. is this a broken-hearted party or a rock concert. i am some how compelled to call Gallaghar.
I think someone should film the T-shirt desecrations for Xtube. Or HUMP. Or both.
Or just send me the files privately …
@8: Enter it into the karaoke rotation at the Crescent. That should kill it pretty effectively.
@8: have Paris Hilton sing it?
Sounds like crazy, yet healing fun. Too bad I’m not single and heartbroken.
Wait, isn’t Valentines Day on February 14th EVERY year? So yes, I did know that.
@7 – yeah, that will do.
Any chance we can get Dick Cheney’s industrial shredder, now that he’s not using it?
Or some big pink pinking shears? with a bow on it.
Burn the song onto a CD or DVD and put a big red heart on it – way more fun to destroy than a flash drive.
Ordinary photographs are not large enough to contain my enormous nudity.
how about destroying stuff with one of those blendtec blenders? will it blend?
also, please no burning of records this year.
God, has it been a year already? Where does the time go?
Heck, a year ago, Fnarf and Will were still speaking to each other. Well, mostly.
my favorite record was smashed at last years event…broke my fucking heart
@8: Give it to a filker to cruelly parody, transforming it from a paean to your erstwhile beloved into a screed against his shortcomings.
my brother and i have enjoyed this even together before, but can i still go even if no longer single? i have to ask because we’re still very much lovey-dovey. even in public. in fact, i think he’s getting a tatoo of my name done today… i know, i know.
@22: You’re no longer single … with your brother?
@18: No. You can’t.
pardon me. i meant @22: No. You can’t attend. as far as @18, I have no idea if it will blend.
@22 are you with your brother. is that technically a relationship or and abomination?
Will CARL be there?
I have no feelings of animosity towards any of my ex’s. Is that weird? And I recently got dumped too (well sort of)
@17 for the win.
Can people send in stuff from other places to be destroyed there? A few months back I got dumped hard by my partner of 3 1/2 years, which also meant that I lost my residency in my country of choice because it was through our relationship. I’m far, far away from Seattle, but there aren’t any parties like this where I am and I’d be happy to supply my story and an artifact for someone else to shred on my behalf.
All saddies in one room sharing stuff…*applause*
wait… only ex-girlfriends? can i still come if i have an ex-boyfriend to smash?
upon further investigation: apparently i can’t read. sorry. i must be blacked out.
Yay, I’m finally date-free on Valentine’s Day and can attend one of these! 😀
All I have to add is: more fire = better
Wow sounds really fun!!! oxox,,,Catherine
Wow sounds really fun!!! oxox,,,Catherine
I’ve been to two, and they rocked. I just got the same question as #30 from a friend in the midwest. I would be happy to dramatically (and briefly) retell my friend’s story and deliver his memento to be destroyed and post video of the destruction if the rules of the event allow it.
i am retarded but i really have no idea where this is this year. can someone please let a lame broken hearted girl know? that would be most awesome.
here ya go (lame broken hearted girl) is the low down on the times and location for this event.
Sat.Feb.14.09 The Stranger’s 12th Annual Valentine’s Day Bash
The Stranger’s 12th Annual Valentine’s Day Bash :: Doors at 8PM :: $5 At the door :: 21+:: Bring a token, we’ll get it broken!:: Presented by The Stranger and PBR:: Hosted by Dan Savage
Hopefully Dan remembers the blowtorch. I need to melt down some silver.
Neumos, 9:30pm