Yes, it’s old news: A student, Natalie Dylan, is selling her virginity to the highest bidder. The present highest bid for the sex, which is to happen at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch in Nevada? $5 million:

AN Australian businessman is leading a $5 million online bidding war to claim the virginity of a 22-year-old student.

He is just one among more than 10,000 men bidding for the promised night of passion.

Miss Dylan’s offer first came to light in September, when the offers reached more than $350,000, but bids have now reached $5.6 million.

The Sun reports an unnamed 39-year-old Australian businessman is now the highest bidder.

My only problem with all this? The woman is not attractive or special or striking. She is as plain as a plank of wood.
natalie_dylan_nude.jpg
This is not about sex with a beautiful woman (which she is not) but about the price—how high can it go? Money always ends up being about itself—the universal equivalent.

Charles Mudede—who writes about film, books, music, and his life in Rhodesia, Zimbabwe, the USA, and the UK for The Stranger—was born near a steel plant in Kwe Kwe, Zimbabwe. He has no memory...

68 replies on “The Universal Equivalent”

  1. Mudede, sometimes at work I refresh Slog every fifteen minutes, just waiting for you to post some baffling piece of backwards idiocy so that I can express my outrage in the comments.
    You never, ever disappoint. You are a fount of pompous ignorance, misogyny, and shameless race-baiting.

    “My only problem with all this? The woman is not attractive or special or striking. She is plain as a plank of wood.”
    Simply Charles Mudede.

  2. How can you write with the articulation of an adult but the maturity of a pubescent boy? Are you some kind of idiot-savant 13-year-old who has managed to get a degree in philosophy but still thinks girls are “dogs” unless they’re supermodel-gorgeous?

  3. Chuck, why couldn’t you make a new year’s resolution to STFU? Seriously… be quiet. Just because you have Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Press at your disposal doesn’t mean you should excercise them.

  4. I was going to say something outraged, but the comments have me laughing too hard.

    @6, I can think of plenty of instances where he’s shown a photo of an equally plain or even homely woman and declared her gorgeous for one reason or another. Usually because of her ethnicity (what is up with the Italians??). I think this young woman is lovely, but it’s probably her prominant nose that is turning him off.

  5. I agree that she’s unattractive, but whether I’m right or not is irrelevant. Objectively speaking, this woman is not attractive enough to sell sex for $5 million.

    I’m reminded of a comic in the Village Voice from several years ago offering tips on how to be a call girl. One of the most important tips: do not be unconventionally attractive. Men do not want to shell out big bucks to have sex with a woman who has a large nose.

  6. Why in the world would someone pay $5 million dollars for a one night stand???!!!??? Like there aren’t a million virgins in the world to choose from? Weird.

  7. $5 m? Damn, Strangercrombie didn’t even come close. You wanna make some real money for charity next year? Drop the “ultimate comics nerd” package and get yerselves a virgin!

  8. I couldn’t say whether she’s hot or not (I prefer the boy-sex). But she does appear to have gigantic feet. I have no idea in the world what that might imply for girls.

    Regardless… $5 million for her supposed virginity? WTF!?!

  9. She’s all right. But you’re right, Charles: this isn’t about anything but money and the supposed status it brings. It’s an extension of the forces that cause people to pay $500 for a handbag covered in an ugly ‘C’ pattern, just to prove they spent lots of money on it.

  10. seriously, your only problem with this is that she’s not attractive? leaving aside the whole beauty as subjective line of thought, it strikes me a gross that you would shrug this mess off as totally cool if she was hot by your standards. i still feel like it would be disgusting all around, given that the girl is really an after thought to “taking” her virginity. this is ultimately about owning a part of another person, in this case buying that part for a ridiculous amount of money. hot or not i say yuck.

  11. In the full article, she said she’s had two previous boyfriends and the “were intimate in some ways” but she’s still a virgin.

    I’m betting she gave up the ass some time ago.

  12. She kinda looks like brooke hogan with dark hair, who is also not hot.

    Look, I like lots of women in all different sizes, just not the ones that are more manly built than myself. If I was into that then I would probably be a writer for the Stranger rather than a commentor.

    @4 Christo! Those are some water skis, huh?

  13. You guys apparently have never had a foot massage…

    She’s kinda cute — like the baby who’s not getting put in the corner in Dirty Dancing.

  14. Seriously, $5 million to pop a little piece of tissue that was probably popped already a long time ago by tampons or horseback riding or a go round on a mechanical bull? I can’t even imagine. And, frankly she doesn’t look all that virginal if you ask me, she may never have taken one in the vagina, but I bet she’s had a penis in every other hole on her body.

    I hope the winning bidder gets a doctor’s certification that she’s all she says she is before handing over the loot.

  15. as a lesbian, could I auction off the first time I ever sleep with a man for this much? the female sex tend to find me attractive– would some rich millionaire pay this much to be the one and only man I ever do? huh? i have some student loans to pay off!

  16. Let’s drive that price higher. I live about twenty minutes from the Bunny Ranch, and we’re having budget problems. We could use the sales tax on this transaction.

  17. um, no one claimed it was about sex with a beautiful woman. it’s about a bidding war for sex with a virgin, which Dylan herself seems to acknowledge. and also, what’s your point? it’s only ok for knockouts to get paid for sex? or that sex is only about attraction, never about power? what, exactly, IS your problem?
    if you’re going to try to sound like the smartest guy around, perhaps you should actually say something intelligent.

  18. Good lord, why must everyone always insult Mr. Mudede without even coming close to understanding what he’s said…. the infantile level of racism is pathetic… but much worse is the inability to follow argument… no wonder capitalism is dead … if only “blogging” would follow it… please just stay on Fakebook with your junkmail friends..

  19. good for her. i think it’s brilliant. she’s going to get more money than most of us will ever dream of earning in our life.
    brilliant.

  20. Did any of you click the article link? Her older sister funded her “degree course” (whatever that translates to) by working at the Bunny Ranch for three weeks! (And that natural photo with her sister looks pretty ‘shopped.)

  21. @15 Somehow I think amending that Strangercrombie auction to “Take the Ultimate Comic Nerd’s Virginity Package” wouldn’t be that hard.

    ZINGAH!

  22. “Money always ends up being about itself—the universal equivalent.”

    Do you use some kind of random-word-generating app? If so, I’m impressed with it. It consistently produces sentences that seem like they should have some meaningful content.

  23. it’s not her nose–it’s the asymmetrical eyes that make her a bit less than gorgeous.
    and yes, goldstar @39, i think you should go for it. the lesbian angle will probably work in your favor. retire young. invest wisely.

  24. the price is nearing 7 million now, with over 10,000 bids. This babe may be set for life. And if she actually cashes in, expect to see a lot of imitators.

    The followers probably won’t get as much, but even at $100,000 this could lead a lot of folks to reprice their morals.

  25. I wonder if there are any people out there who would auction off each orifice? $5 million for the untouched vajayjay, $7 million for the untouched pooperhole, $2 million for the mouth???

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